[Script for The Spoony Experiment: Starship Troopers] [Copyright 2004 Noah Antwiler] < 00:00:00 > < 00:00:01 > < 00:00:02 > < 00:00:03 > < 00:00:04 > < 00:00:05 > < 00:00:06 > T: LOOK OUT, IT'S A TRAIN!! < 00:00:07 > < 00:00:08 > < 00:00:09 > < 00:00:10 > < 00:00:11 > < 00:00:12 > < 00:00:13 > < 00:00:14 > < 00:00:15 > < 00:00:16 > < 00:00:17 > < 00:00:18 > < 00:00:19 > < 00:00:20 > < 00:00:21 > < 00:00:22 > < 00:00:23 > < 00:00:24 > < 00:00:25 > M: Oh Starship Troopers, at least the movie has excellent source material to pull from. Shouldn't be too bad. < 00:00:26 > < 00:00:27 > T: You are so naive. < 00:00:28 > < 00:00:29 > < 00:00:30 > < 00:00:31 > M: And now, "Who Wants to Marry Andy Rooney?" < 00:00:32 > < 00:00:33 > < 00:00:34 > < 00:00:35 > < 00:00:36 > < 00:00:37 > < 00:00:38 > < 00:00:39 > < 00:00:40 > < 00:00:41 > < 00:00:42 > < 00:00:43 > < 00:00:44 > < 00:00:45 > M: Join the Hitler Youth! < 00:00:46 > < 00:00:47 > T: Huhhuhuh you're watching this movie, huh huh! < 00:00:48 > < 00:00:49 > < 00:00:50 > < 00:00:51 > < 00:00:52 > M: Get off your ass and do something! Come on! < 00:00:53 > < 00:00:54 > < 00:00:55 > < 00:00:56 > < 00:00:57 > < 00:00:58 > T: Well I'll try but I don't think I can really bug a meteor. < 00:00:59 > < 00:00:60 > < 00:01:00 > < 00:01:01 > < 00:01:02 > < 00:01:03 > < 00:01:04 > < 00:01:05 > < 00:01:06 > < 00:01:07 > < 00:01:08 > < 00:01:09 > T: Battlestar Galactica snaps into action! < 00:01:10 > < 00:01:11 > < 00:01:12 > < 00:01:13 > < 00:01:14 > < 00:01:15 > M: Naw that's planet Hoth. < 00:01:16 > < 00:01:17 > < 00:01:18 > < 00:01:19 > < 00:01:20 > < 00:01:21 > T: And Cocoa Puffs. < 00:01:22 > < 00:01:23 > < 00:01:24 > < 00:01:25 > M: Galactically speaking, that doesn't really narrow it down. < 00:01:26 > < 00:01:27 > < 00:01:28 > < 00:01:29 > T: Wouldn't it take hundreds of thousands of years for the meteors to arrive at earth? < 00:01:30 > < 00:01:31 > < 00:01:32 > < 00:01:33 > T: Where there's an Invasion Sale of savings! < 00:01:34 > < 00:01:35 > < 00:01:36 > < 00:01:37 > < 00:01:38 > < 00:01:39 > M: Andy Richter, war correspondent. < 00:01:40 > < 00:01:41 > < 00:01:42 > < 00:01:43 > < 00:01:44 > M: Special K I mean! Low in fat! < 00:01:45 > < 00:01:46 > < 00:01:47 > < 00:01:48 > < 00:01:49 > < 00:01:50 > T: An icky planet! < 00:01:51 > < 00:01:52 > M: Get out of my yard!! < 00:01:53 > < 00:01:54 > < 00:01:55 > < 00:01:56 > < 00:01:57 > < 00:01:58 > < 00:01:59 > < 00:01:60 > < 00:02:00 > M: Shoot the reporter! < 00:02:01 > < 00:02:02 > < 00:02:03 > T: Quick! Get the giant roach motel! < 00:02:04 > < 00:02:05 > < 00:02:06 > < 00:02:07 > < 00:02:08 > M: I don't think shooting blanks at them is working, sir! < 00:02:09 > < 00:02:10 > < 00:02:11 > < 00:02:12 > < 00:02:13 > M: He's talking to us! Okay I'm leaving! < 00:02:14 > < 00:02:15 > T: You can't, that guy'll suck the air out of the cave. < 00:02:16 > < 00:02:17 > < 00:02:18 > < 00:02:19 > < 00:02:20 > < 00:02:21 > M: Ah our brave marines whose battle strategy is to panic and flee waving their arms in the air. < 00:02:22 > < 00:02:23 > < 00:02:24 > < 00:02:25 > < 00:02:26 > < 00:02:27 > < 00:02:28 > < 00:02:29 > < 00:02:30 > < 00:02:31 > T: OOOH if Tonya Harding was a bug. < 00:02:32 > < 00:02:33 > < 00:02:34 > < 00:02:35 > < 00:02:36 > < 00:02:37 > < 00:02:38 > < 00:02:39 > < 00:02:40 > < 00:02:41 > < 00:02:42 > < 00:02:43 > < 00:02:44 > < 00:02:45 > T: Space...the final frontier. < 00:02:46 > M: Oh shut up. < 00:02:47 > < 00:02:48 > < 00:02:49 > < 00:02:50 > < 00:02:51 > < 00:02:52 > < 00:02:53 > < 00:02:54 > M: Magna-doodles...OF THE FUTURE! < 00:02:55 > < 00:02:56 > < 00:02:57 > < 00:02:58 > < 00:02:59 > < 00:02:60 > < 00:03:00 > T: Rico...Suave... < 00:03:01 > < 00:03:02 > < 00:03:03 > T: Sorry sir, that question had me stumped. Hee hee < 00:03:04 > < 00:03:05 > < 00:03:06 > < 00:03:07 > < 00:03:08 > < 00:03:09 > < 00:03:10 > < 00:03:11 > M: Communism! Communism! < 00:03:12 > < 00:03:13 > < 00:03:14 > < 00:03:15 > < 00:03:16 > < 00:03:17 > < 00:03:18 > < 00:03:19 > < 00:03:20 > < 00:03:21 > < 00:03:22 > < 00:03:23 > T: Nah if this was the future he'd be playin' CounterStrike or somethin'. < 00:03:24 > < 00:03:25 > < 00:03:26 > < 00:03:27 > < 00:03:28 > M: HIIIIIIIIII! < 00:03:29 > < 00:03:30 > < 00:03:31 > < 00:03:32 > < 00:03:33 > < 00:03:34 > < 00:03:35 > T: NO NO NO! < 00:03:36 > < 00:03:37 > < 00:03:38 > < 00:03:39 > < 00:03:40 > < 00:03:41 > < 00:03:42 > < 00:03:43 > < 00:03:44 > < 00:03:45 > M: But Mr. Kotter! < 00:03:46 > < 00:03:47 > < 00:03:48 > < 00:03:49 > < 00:03:50 > < 00:03:51 > < 00:03:52 > T: Oh it's a Catholic school. < 00:03:53 > < 00:03:54 > < 00:03:55 > < 00:03:56 > M: Well she's WRONG!! < 00:03:57 > < 00:03:58 > < 00:03:59 > < 00:03:60 > < 00:04:00 > < 00:04:01 > < 00:04:02 > M: Bite me. < 00:04:03 > < 00:04:04 > < 00:04:05 > < 00:04:06 > < 00:04:07 > < 00:04:08 > < 00:04:09 > < 00:04:10 > < 00:04:11 > < 00:04:12 > T: Negotiation is for pansies! < 00:04:13 > < 00:04:14 > < 00:04:15 > < 00:04:16 > < 00:04:17 > < 00:04:18 > < 00:04:19 > < 00:04:20 > T: Flash animation, huhhhh.... < 00:04:21 > < 00:04:22 > < 00:04:23 > < 00:04:24 > < 00:04:25 > < 00:04:26 > < 00:04:27 > M: Citizens are smart enough to figure out the frigging voting ballot. < 00:04:28 > < 00:04:29 > < 00:04:30 > < 00:04:31 > < 00:04:32 > < 00:04:33 > < 00:04:34 > < 00:04:35 > < 00:04:36 > < 00:04:37 > M: Kissass. < 00:04:38 > < 00:04:39 > T: Cheater, GET OUT! < 00:04:40 > < 00:04:41 > < 00:04:42 > < 00:04:43 > T: That arm's just freakin' me out, I'm sorry. < 00:04:44 > < 00:04:45 > < 00:04:46 > < 00:04:47 > < 00:04:48 > < 00:04:49 > < 00:04:50 > < 00:04:51 > M: Wassup wit dat, bitch?? < 00:04:52 > < 00:04:53 > < 00:04:54 > < 00:04:55 > T: Tonight on Doogie Howser... < 00:04:56 > < 00:04:57 > < 00:04:58 > < 00:04:59 > < 00:04:60 > < 00:05:00 > < 00:05:01 > < 00:05:02 > < 00:05:03 > < 00:05:04 > M: Oh wow, we've gone a whole 55 minutes without sucking face. < 00:05:05 > < 00:05:06 > < 00:05:07 > < 00:05:08 > < 00:05:09 > M: In the girls' bathroom. < 00:05:10 > < 00:05:11 > < 00:05:12 > < 00:05:13 > < 00:05:14 > < 00:05:15 > T: SimCity 3000. < 00:05:16 > < 00:05:17 > < 00:05:18 > < 00:05:19 > < 00:05:20 > < 00:05:21 > < 00:05:22 > M: I know what the first thing they'll be lookin' at. < 00:05:23 > < 00:05:24 > T: So it's a high school where everyone wears business casuals, and nobody's under 23. < 00:05:25 > < 00:05:26 > < 00:05:27 > < 00:05:28 > < 00:05:29 > < 00:05:30 > M: Sorry, no. Nope. Not buyin' that for a second. < 00:05:31 > < 00:05:32 > T: It's science fiction! Anything's possible! HUHH HUH HUH! < 00:05:33 > < 00:05:34 > < 00:05:35 > < 00:05:36 > < 00:05:37 > < 00:05:38 > < 00:05:39 > M: Marco, Ibanez, Rico, THESE PEOPLE ARE ALL WHITE! < 00:05:40 > < 00:05:41 > < 00:05:42 > < 00:05:43 > < 00:05:44 > < 00:05:45 > < 00:05:46 > < 00:05:47 > < 00:05:48 > < 00:05:49 > < 00:05:50 > < 00:05:51 > < 00:05:52 > T: To preserve confidentiality, we discreetly display your final scores on the 8-foot big-screen with all your identification. < 00:05:53 > < 00:05:54 > < 00:05:55 > < 00:05:56 > < 00:05:57 > < 00:05:58 > < 00:05:59 > M: I'm the jock, you're the nerd. Figure out what's gonna happen in a minute. < 00:05:60 > < 00:06:00 > < 00:06:01 > < 00:06:02 > < 00:06:03 > *hum the Doogie Howser MD theme* < 00:06:04 > < 00:06:05 > < 00:06:06 > < 00:06:07 > < 00:06:08 > < 00:06:09 > < 00:06:10 > < 00:06:11 > M: Yeah, right. < 00:06:12 > < 00:06:13 > < 00:06:14 > < 00:06:15 > T: Not HER, no. < 00:06:16 > < 00:06:17 > < 00:06:18 > < 00:06:19 > < 00:06:20 > M: Me! Wants a piece o' Doogie Booty. < 00:06:21 > < 00:06:22 > < 00:06:23 > < 00:06:24 > < 00:06:25 > < 00:06:26 > T: That's my daily ass-kicking. < 00:06:27 > < 00:06:28 > < 00:06:29 > < 00:06:30 > < 00:06:31 > M: Huh huh, I HATE him... < 00:06:32 > < 00:06:33 > < 00:06:34 > < 00:06:35 > < 00:06:36 > < 00:06:37 > < 00:06:38 > < 00:06:39 > < 00:06:40 > M: Well that rules you out. < 00:06:41 > < 00:06:42 > < 00:06:43 > *cat hiss* < 00:06:44 > < 00:06:45 > < 00:06:46 > < 00:06:47 > < 00:06:48 > < 00:06:49 > T: Yeah. Pulled one o' these off my dog once. < 00:06:50 > < 00:06:51 > < 00:06:52 > < 00:06:53 > < 00:06:54 > < 00:06:55 > < 00:06:56 > M: This isn't biology. It's lunch period! < 00:06:57 > < 00:06:58 > < 00:06:59 > < 00:06:60 > < 00:07:00 > < 00:07:01 > < 00:07:02 > < 00:07:03 > T: We are Devo! < 00:07:04 > < 00:07:05 > < 00:07:06 > < 00:07:07 > < 00:07:08 > T: Oh, ya overcooked it. < 00:07:09 > < 00:07:10 > < 00:07:11 > < 00:07:12 > < 00:07:13 > < 00:07:14 > < 00:07:15 > < 00:07:16 > < 00:07:17 > < 00:07:18 > < 00:07:19 > M: The terrible secret behind school hot dogs. < 00:07:20 > < 00:07:21 > < 00:07:22 > < 00:07:23 > T: Nerves of steel! EEEW! < 00:07:24 > < 00:07:25 > M: AAAH! It's one of the bugs! < 00:07:26 > < 00:07:27 > < 00:07:28 > < 00:07:29 > < 00:07:30 > < 00:07:31 > < 00:07:32 > < 00:07:33 > < 00:07:34 > T: Huh! lookit this. Didn't know they had one of those. < 00:07:35 > < 00:07:36 > < 00:07:37 > < 00:07:38 > < 00:07:39 > < 00:07:40 > < 00:07:41 > < 00:07:42 > < 00:07:43 > < 00:07:44 > < 00:07:45 > < 00:07:46 > M: Here. Save this for later. < 00:07:47 > < 00:07:48 > < 00:07:49 > < 00:07:50 > < 00:07:51 > < 00:07:52 > < 00:07:53 > < 00:07:54 > M: So that's sex, huh? < 00:07:55 > < 00:07:56 > < 00:07:57 > < 00:07:58 > < 00:07:59 > < 00:07:60 > < 00:08:00 > < 00:08:01 > < 00:08:02 > < 00:08:03 > < 00:08:04 > T: It'd be funny, but she does that every class. < 00:08:05 > < 00:08:06 > M: It wasn't the bug, she just couldn't take the dialogue any more. < 00:08:07 > < 00:08:08 > < 00:08:09 > < 00:08:10 > T: Video Poker Troopers! < 00:08:11 > < 00:08:12 > < 00:08:13 > < 00:08:14 > < 00:08:15 > M: "Not thinking" usually isn't a problem with Rico. < 00:08:16 > < 00:08:17 > < 00:08:18 > < 00:08:19 > T: Denise Richards naked, c'mon, concentrate. < 00:08:20 > < 00:08:21 > < 00:08:22 > < 00:08:23 > < 00:08:24 > T: Doogie Howser is Garry Kasparov in "The Deep Blue Story" < 00:08:25 > < 00:08:26 > < 00:08:27 > < 00:08:28 > < 00:08:29 > < 00:08:30 > < 00:08:31 > < 00:08:32 > < 00:08:33 > < 00:08:34 > < 00:08:35 > M: It's confirmed. You have the brain of a gerbil. < 00:08:36 > < 00:08:37 > < 00:08:38 > < 00:08:39 > < 00:08:40 > < 00:08:41 > < 00:08:42 > < 00:08:43 > < 00:08:44 > < 00:08:45 > < 00:08:46 > T: But I am good looking! < 00:08:47 > < 00:08:48 > < 00:08:49 > < 00:08:50 > < 00:08:51 > < 00:08:52 > < 00:08:53 > < 00:08:54 > < 00:08:55 > < 00:08:56 > < 00:08:57 > M: The Psi-Corps is your friend. < 00:08:58 > < 00:08:59 > < 00:08:60 > < 00:09:00 > < 00:09:01 > < 00:09:02 > < 00:09:03 > < 00:09:04 > < 00:09:05 > < 00:09:06 > < 00:09:07 > < 00:09:08 > < 00:09:09 > < 00:09:10 > < 00:09:11 > M: Doogie Howser IS The Beastmaster. < 00:09:12 > < 00:09:13 > < 00:09:14 > T: Within 20 seconds, the ferret KILLS everybody. < 00:09:15 > < 00:09:16 > < 00:09:17 > < 00:09:18 > < 00:09:19 > < 00:09:20 > < 00:09:21 > < 00:09:22 > M: I didn't, he just ran off. < 00:09:23 > < 00:09:24 > < 00:09:25 > < 00:09:26 > < 00:09:27 > < 00:09:28 > < 00:09:29 > < 00:09:30 > < 00:09:31 > < 00:09:32 > < 00:09:33 > M: Using my powers for petty manipulation is fun! < 00:09:34 > < 00:09:35 > < 00:09:36 > < 00:09:37 > < 00:09:38 > < 00:09:39 > < 00:09:40 > < 00:09:41 > < 00:09:42 > T: But then, he isn't much smarter than a ferret. Give it a whirl. < 00:09:43 > < 00:09:44 > < 00:09:45 > < 00:09:46 > < 00:09:47 > < 00:09:48 > M: In the future, the XFL thrives! < 00:09:49 > < 00:09:50 > < 00:09:51 > < 00:09:52 > < 00:09:53 > < 00:09:54 > < 00:09:55 > < 00:09:56 > M: Whoa! Must have had the Bat-Springs in his shoes. < 00:09:57 > < 00:09:58 > T: Or it's The Matrix. < 00:09:59 > < 00:09:60 > < 00:10:00 > < 00:10:01 > < 00:10:02 > < 00:10:03 > < 00:10:04 > T: Wow he just wiped out three rows of fans and they're fine with it. < 00:10:05 > < 00:10:06 > < 00:10:07 > < 00:10:08 > < 00:10:09 > < 00:10:10 > < 00:10:11 > < 00:10:12 > < 00:10:13 > M: I'm Hunk Tripod, and you? < 00:10:14 > < 00:10:15 > < 00:10:16 > < 00:10:17 > < 00:10:18 > < 00:10:19 > < 00:10:20 > < 00:10:21 > < 00:10:22 > < 00:10:23 > M: You could join me and the rest of the team in the showers. < 00:10:24 > < 00:10:25 > < 00:10:26 > < 00:10:27 > < 00:10:28 > < 00:10:29 > < 00:10:30 > < 00:10:31 > T: I'm 32! < 00:10:32 > < 00:10:33 > < 00:10:34 > < 00:10:35 > < 00:10:36 > T: What?? < 00:10:37 > < 00:10:38 > < 00:10:39 > < 00:10:40 > < 00:10:41 > < 00:10:42 > < 00:10:43 > < 00:10:44 > < 00:10:45 > M: Oooh pushing, next you'll be swinging limp-writed wuss slaps at each other. < 00:10:46 > < 00:10:47 > < 00:10:48 > < 00:10:49 > < 00:10:50 > M: Dirk Squarejaw. < 00:10:51 > < 00:10:52 > < 00:10:53 > < 00:10:54 > < 00:10:55 > < 00:10:56 > < 00:10:57 > < 00:10:58 > < 00:10:59 > < 00:10:60 > < 00:11:00 > < 00:11:01 > < 00:11:02 > < 00:11:03 > < 00:11:04 > T: I think this team needs steroid testing. < 00:11:05 > < 00:11:06 > < 00:11:07 > < 00:11:08 > < 00:11:09 > < 00:11:10 > < 00:11:11 > < 00:11:12 > < 00:11:13 > < 00:11:14 > T: If I took a hit like that I'd still be crying. < 00:11:15 > < 00:11:16 > M: Yeah, but you're s skinny little wuss. < 00:11:17 > < 00:11:18 > T: Shut up! < 00:11:19 > < 00:11:20 > T: Yeah right, a girl quarterback. < 00:11:21 > < 00:11:22 > M: Science FICTION! < 00:11:23 > < 00:11:24 > < 00:11:25 > < 00:11:26 > < 00:11:27 > < 00:11:28 > < 00:11:29 > < 00:11:30 > < 00:11:31 > < 00:11:32 > < 00:11:33 > T: What'd you call me? < 00:11:34 > < 00:11:35 > < 00:11:36 > < 00:11:37 > < 00:11:38 > < 00:11:39 > < 00:11:40 > < 00:11:41 > < 00:11:42 > < 00:11:43 > < 00:11:44 > < 00:11:45 > < 00:11:46 > < 00:11:47 > < 00:11:48 > M: This would be so much funnier watching this little girl shrugging off 350-lbs. linemen in real life. < 00:11:49 > < 00:11:50 > < 00:11:51 > < 00:11:52 > < 00:11:53 > < 00:11:54 > < 00:11:55 > T: In the future, we include a pneumatic catapult at the 30 yard line. < 00:11:56 > < 00:11:57 > < 00:11:58 > < 00:11:59 > < 00:11:60 > < 00:12:00 > < 00:12:01 > < 00:12:02 > < 00:12:03 > < 00:12:04 > < 00:12:05 > < 00:12:06 > < 00:12:07 > < 00:12:08 > < 00:12:09 > < 00:12:10 > T: So...3 touchdowns in 3 plays? No wonder arena football is so high-scoring. No kickoffs or PATs... < 00:12:11 > < 00:12:12 > < 00:12:13 > < 00:12:14 > < 00:12:15 > < 00:12:16 > < 00:12:17 > < 00:12:18 > < 00:12:19 > < 00:12:20 > < 00:12:21 > M: Here's how to make a movie hero your audience can't relate to: make him the star player of the football team. < 00:12:22 > < 00:12:23 > < 00:12:24 > < 00:12:25 > < 00:12:26 > T: Aw my litle boy, only 30 and he's going to his first prom! < 00:12:27 > < 00:12:28 > < 00:12:29 > < 00:12:30 > < 00:12:31 > < 00:12:32 > < 00:12:33 > < 00:12:34 > < 00:12:35 > < 00:12:36 > M: Your new Playboys! < 00:12:37 > < 00:12:38 > < 00:12:39 > < 00:12:40 > < 00:12:41 > < 00:12:42 > < 00:12:43 > < 00:12:44 > < 00:12:45 > < 00:12:46 > < 00:12:47 > M: I wanna be a postman, dad! < 00:12:48 > < 00:12:49 > < 00:12:50 > < 00:12:51 > < 00:12:52 > T: Whoa! You just turned mom on. < 00:12:53 > < 00:12:54 > < 00:12:55 > < 00:12:56 > < 00:12:57 > < 00:12:58 > < 00:12:59 > < 00:12:60 > < 00:13:00 > < 00:13:01 > < 00:13:02 > M: See exotic cultures and kill them! < 00:13:03 > < 00:13:04 > < 00:13:05 > < 00:13:06 > < 00:13:07 > < 00:13:08 > < 00:13:09 > < 00:13:10 > < 00:13:11 > < 00:13:12 > M: Mr. JoinTheArmy, yeah... < 00:13:13 > < 00:13:14 > < 00:13:15 > < 00:13:16 > < 00:13:17 > < 00:13:18 > < 00:13:19 > T: It's not like he had a choice, dude... < 00:13:20 > < 00:13:21 > < 00:13:22 > < 00:13:23 > < 00:13:24 > < 00:13:25 > < 00:13:26 > < 00:13:27 > < 00:13:28 > < 00:13:29 > T: by beating you over the head with his stump. < 00:13:30 > < 00:13:31 > < 00:13:32 > < 00:13:33 > < 00:13:34 > < 00:13:35 > < 00:13:36 > < 00:13:37 > < 00:13:38 > M: I wanna go to Tosche Station to pick up some power converters! < 00:13:39 > < 00:13:40 > < 00:13:41 > < 00:13:42 > < 00:13:43 > < 00:13:44 > < 00:13:45 > T: A NEW CAR!! < 00:13:46 > < 00:13:47 > < 00:13:48 > < 00:13:49 > < 00:13:50 > < 00:13:51 > < 00:13:52 > < 00:13:53 > < 00:13:54 > < 00:13:55 > < 00:13:56 > < 00:13:57 > M: Know what I mean? Huh boy? Nudge nudge? < 00:13:58 > < 00:13:59 > < 00:13:60 > < 00:14:00 > < 00:14:01 > < 00:14:02 > < 00:14:03 > < 00:14:04 > < 00:14:05 > T: Have some alcohol, son! < 00:14:06 > M: But I'm only 18! < 00:14:07 > T: Shya right... < 00:14:08 > < 00:14:09 > < 00:14:10 > < 00:14:11 > < 00:14:12 > < 00:14:13 > < 00:14:14 > M: This is like the greatest high school EVER! < 00:14:15 > < 00:14:16 > < 00:14:17 > < 00:14:18 > < 00:14:19 > < 00:14:20 > T: All I had for my prom was a pop-up tent, chiggers in the grass, stale cookies and spiked punch. < 00:14:21 > < 00:14:22 > < 00:14:23 > < 00:14:24 > < 00:14:25 > < 00:14:26 > T; You're telling me a girl that looks like that is going stag to the prom? < 00:14:27 > < 00:14:28 > M: Science FICTION. < 00:14:29 > < 00:14:30 > < 00:14:31 > < 00:14:32 > < 00:14:33 > M: Proof that women hate each other. < 00:14:34 > < 00:14:35 > < 00:14:36 > < 00:14:37 > < 00:14:38 > < 00:14:39 > < 00:14:40 > < 00:14:41 > < 00:14:42 > < 00:14:43 > < 00:14:44 > < 00:14:45 > < 00:14:46 > T: Mrs. Robinson are you trying to seduce me? < 00:14:47 > < 00:14:48 > < 00:14:49 > < 00:14:50 > < 00:14:51 > < 00:14:52 > < 00:14:53 > < 00:14:54 > < 00:14:55 > < 00:14:56 > < 00:14:57 > T: What are you kidding? If a girl this hot even looked interested in my direction I'd probably be humping her leg and smacking myself in the butt. < 00:14:58 > < 00:14:59 > < 00:14:60 > < 00:15:00 > < 00:15:01 > < 00:15:02 > < 00:15:03 > < 00:15:04 > < 00:15:05 > *collective OOOOH* < 00:15:06 > < 00:15:07 > < 00:15:08 > M: You can't play the "Friends" card on chicks, man. They'll tear your heart out and eat it in front of you. < 00:15:09 > < 00:15:10 > < 00:15:11 > < 00:15:12 > < 00:15:13 > T: "Hit me baby one more tiiiiiimmmee" < 00:15:14 > < 00:15:15 > < 00:15:16 > < 00:15:17 > < 00:15:18 > < 00:15:19 > M: I wanna dance with him. < 00:15:20 > < 00:15:21 > < 00:15:22 > < 00:15:23 > < 00:15:24 > < 00:15:25 > < 00:15:26 > T: And it just now sinks in that she got dumped for a bald, one-armed man who was in Highlander 2. < 00:15:27 > < 00:15:28 > < 00:15:29 > M: Eeeew there's some Pepe le Peu smugness right there. < 00:15:30 > < 00:15:31 > T: Hey baby, have you seen my Doogie Howitzer? < 00:15:32 > < 00:15:33 > < 00:15:34 > < 00:15:35 > < 00:15:36 > < 00:15:37 > < 00:15:38 > < 00:15:39 > < 00:15:40 > T: Oh god, what do you want? < 00:15:41 > < 00:15:42 > < 00:15:43 > < 00:15:44 > < 00:15:45 > M: Look, can't we just be friends? < 00:15:46 > < 00:15:47 > < 00:15:48 > < 00:15:49 > < 00:15:50 > < 00:15:51 > < 00:15:52 > < 00:15:53 > T: Good for you! Hope ya get fragged. < 00:15:54 > < 00:15:55 > < 00:15:56 > < 00:15:57 > < 00:15:58 > < 00:15:59 > < 00:15:60 > < 00:16:00 > M: What would Radczek do? < 00:16:01 > < 00:16:02 > < 00:16:03 > < 00:16:04 > < 00:16:05 > < 00:16:06 > < 00:16:07 > < 00:16:08 > < 00:16:09 > < 00:16:10 > < 00:16:11 > < 00:16:12 > < 00:16:13 > < 00:16:14 > < 00:16:15 > M: This isn't the prom, they're not playing The Chicken Dance, the Electric Slide, Rapper's Delight or any number of stupid dance numbers... < 00:16:16 > < 00:16:17 > < 00:16:18 > < 00:16:19 > < 00:16:20 > < 00:16:21 > < 00:16:22 > < 00:16:23 > T: Oh wow. I'm sorry I'm just not buying this is really a high school. < 00:16:24 > < 00:16:25 > < 00:16:26 > < 00:16:27 > < 00:16:28 > < 00:16:29 > M: When's Macie Gray comin' on? < 00:16:30 > < 00:16:31 > < 00:16:32 > < 00:16:33 > < 00:16:34 > < 00:16:35 > T: "No no it's huge! I can balance drinks on it if the wind is right." < 00:16:36 > < 00:16:37 > < 00:16:38 > < 00:16:39 > < 00:16:40 > < 00:16:41 > < 00:16:42 > M: GET OUT GET OUT!! < 00:16:43 > < 00:16:44 > < 00:16:45 > < 00:16:46 > < 00:16:47 > < 00:16:48 > < 00:16:49 > T: Ooooooh the rare male catfight. < 00:16:50 > < 00:16:51 > < 00:16:52 > < 00:16:53 > < 00:16:54 > M: I have to try to salvage the last piece of my manhood. < 00:16:55 > < 00:16:56 > < 00:16:57 > < 00:16:58 > < 00:16:59 > < 00:16:60 > T: It's amazing, everyone here is good-looking. No fat people, no geeks... < 00:17:00 > < 00:17:01 > < 00:17:02 > < 00:17:03 > < 00:17:04 > < 00:17:05 > < 00:17:06 > < 00:17:07 > < 00:17:08 > < 00:17:09 > < 00:17:10 > < 00:17:11 > T: BINGO! We have a winner! < 00:17:12 > < 00:17:13 > < 00:17:14 > < 00:17:15 > < 00:17:16 > M: Well yeah, you kinda do. < 00:17:17 > < 00:17:18 > < 00:17:19 > T: Wow. < 00:17:20 > < 00:17:21 > M: Four feet between couples! < 00:17:22 > < 00:17:23 > T: Beat it Nerdlinger! < 00:17:24 > < 00:17:25 > M: She's trying to kill him with her MIND!! < 00:17:26 > < 00:17:27 > < 00:17:28 > < 00:17:29 > < 00:17:30 > < 00:17:31 > T: I'm gonna be a dancer! < 00:17:32 > < 00:17:33 > < 00:17:34 > < 00:17:35 > < 00:17:36 > < 00:17:37 > < 00:17:38 > < 00:17:39 > M: We're gonna be real starpilots and fly around! Weeeee! < 00:17:40 > < 00:17:41 > < 00:17:42 > < 00:17:43 > < 00:17:44 > < 00:17:45 > < 00:17:46 > < 00:17:47 > < 00:17:48 > < 00:17:49 > M: What does that mean? < 00:17:50 > T: Means it's really gonna be embarassing when they start doing it and her mom is home. < 00:17:51 > < 00:17:52 > M: Oooh, would you like to know more? < 00:17:53 > < 00:17:54 > T: I'm sorry, I just don't buy this. This is supposed to be Buenos Aires, BRAZIL. They're almost all American, they all speak English, there's not a Brazilian in sight, and NOBODY HERE IS AT ALL UNATTRACTIVE!! < 00:17:55 > < 00:17:56 > M: Huh huh, you think the men are attractive. < 00:17:57 > < 00:17:58 > < 00:17:59 > < 00:17:60 > < 00:18:00 > < 00:18:01 > < 00:18:02 > < 00:18:03 > < 00:18:04 > < 00:18:05 > < 00:18:06 > < 00:18:07 > < 00:18:08 > < 00:18:09 > < 00:18:10 > M: Not the flag colors I would have chosen. < 00:18:11 > < 00:18:12 > T: If Betsy Ross dropped acid. < 00:18:13 > < 00:18:14 > < 00:18:15 > < 00:18:16 > < 00:18:17 > < 00:18:18 > < 00:18:19 > < 00:18:20 > M: Sieg Heil! < 00:18:21 > < 00:18:22 > T: See? It's not communism, it's fascism! < 00:18:23 > < 00:18:24 > M: Yeah all right. < 00:18:25 > < 00:18:26 > < 00:18:27 > < 00:18:28 > *With liberty and justice for all.* < 00:18:29 > < 00:18:30 > < 00:18:31 > < 00:18:32 > < 00:18:33 > T: It's really busy here, must be the day the freshman move into the dorms. < 00:18:34 > < 00:18:35 > < 00:18:36 > < 00:18:37 > < 00:18:38 > < 00:18:39 > < 00:18:40 > M: He's Harvey, the Bitter Receptionist. < 00:18:41 > < 00:18:42 > < 00:18:43 > < 00:18:44 > < 00:18:45 > < 00:18:46 > < 00:18:47 > < 00:18:48 > < 00:18:49 > M: They're droppin' like flies out there, lemme tell ya! 80% death rate! < 00:18:50 > < 00:18:51 > < 00:18:52 > < 00:18:53 > < 00:18:54 > < 00:18:55 > T: They made me a barber. < 00:18:56 > < 00:18:57 > < 00:18:58 > < 00:18:59 > < 00:18:60 > < 00:19:00 > M: You get to play games, and theorize and stuff? cooooool! < 00:19:01 > < 00:19:02 > < 00:19:03 > < 00:19:04 > < 00:19:05 > < 00:19:06 > < 00:19:07 > < 00:19:08 > T: Whoa! He's bitter! < 00:19:09 > < 00:19:10 > < 00:19:11 > < 00:19:12 > < 00:19:13 > < 00:19:14 > < 00:19:15 > < 00:19:16 > < 00:19:17 > < 00:19:18 > < 00:19:19 > < 00:19:20 > < 00:19:21 > T: Saves me a fortune on pants, though! < 00:19:22 > < 00:19:23 > < 00:19:24 > < 00:19:25 > < 00:19:26 > < 00:19:27 > < 00:19:28 > M: Hey Nerdlinger, hands off my chick. < 00:19:29 > < 00:19:30 > < 00:19:31 > < 00:19:32 > < 00:19:33 > < 00:19:34 > T: Foreshadowing! < 00:19:35 > < 00:19:36 > < 00:19:37 > < 00:19:38 > < 00:19:39 > < 00:19:40 > < 00:19:41 > M: Hopefully. < 00:19:42 > < 00:19:43 > < 00:19:44 > < 00:19:45 > < 00:19:46 > < 00:19:47 > < 00:19:48 > < 00:19:49 > < 00:19:50 > < 00:19:51 > < 00:19:52 > < 00:19:53 > < 00:19:54 > < 00:19:55 > < 00:19:56 > T: But DAD!! < 00:19:57 > < 00:19:58 > < 00:19:59 > < 00:19:60 > < 00:20:00 > < 00:20:01 > < 00:20:02 > < 00:20:03 > *whines after his voice* < 00:20:04 > < 00:20:05 > < 00:20:06 > T: Ben Kenobi's just a crazy old man. < 00:20:07 > < 00:20:08 > < 00:20:09 > M: You are grounded! < 00:20:10 > < 00:20:11 > T: SAFE! < 00:20:12 > < 00:20:13 > < 00:20:14 > < 00:20:15 > < 00:20:16 > < 00:20:17 > M: Idunno! < 00:20:18 > < 00:20:19 > < 00:20:20 > < 00:20:21 > < 00:20:22 > < 00:20:23 > < 00:20:24 > < 00:20:25 > < 00:20:26 > T: MOM! < 00:20:27 > < 00:20:28 > < 00:20:29 > < 00:20:30 > < 00:20:31 > < 00:20:32 > < 00:20:33 > T: Uhm...this is the same building as the recruiting office, isn't it? < 00:20:34 > < 00:20:35 > M: Ok, try to spot ANY Brazilian. Just try. One. < 00:20:36 > < 00:20:37 > < 00:20:38 > < 00:20:39 > < 00:20:40 > < 00:20:41 > < 00:20:42 > T: Ohhhh I'm SO lost... < 00:20:43 > < 00:20:44 > < 00:20:45 > < 00:20:46 > < 00:20:47 > < 00:20:48 > < 00:20:49 > < 00:20:50 > < 00:20:51 > < 00:20:52 > < 00:20:53 > < 00:20:54 > < 00:20:55 > < 00:20:56 > M: There's a brazilian!! Aw wait, I guess not. < 00:20:57 > < 00:20:58 > < 00:20:59 > < 00:20:60 > < 00:21:00 > < 00:21:01 > < 00:21:02 > < 00:21:03 > < 00:21:04 > < 00:21:05 > < 00:21:06 > T: Been wearing the same pair of underwear for 6 days. < 00:21:07 > < 00:21:08 > < 00:21:09 > < 00:21:10 > < 00:21:11 > < 00:21:12 > < 00:21:13 > < 00:21:14 > < 00:21:15 > M: ...Yeah. Ok. < 00:21:16 > < 00:21:17 > < 00:21:18 > < 00:21:19 > < 00:21:20 > < 00:21:21 > < 00:21:22 > < 00:21:23 > < 00:21:24 > < 00:21:25 > < 00:21:26 > < 00:21:27 > < 00:21:28 > T: Carmen IBANEZ...WHITE! < 00:21:29 > < 00:21:30 > T: Johnny RICO...WHITE ARYAN MAN! < 00:21:31 > < 00:21:32 > < 00:21:33 > < 00:21:34 > < 00:21:35 > < 00:21:36 > < 00:21:37 > < 00:21:38 > < 00:21:39 > < 00:21:40 > < 00:21:41 > < 00:21:42 > < 00:21:43 > < 00:21:44 > < 00:21:45 > < 00:21:46 > < 00:21:47 > < 00:21:48 > < 00:21:49 > < 00:21:50 > M: Wow, you signed your life away for a chick who ain't even said that once? Boy, you're crazy. < 00:21:51 > < 00:21:52 > < 00:21:53 > < 00:21:54 > < 00:21:55 > T: Oh come on, nononono. < 00:21:56 > < 00:21:57 > M: I can't HEAR YOU! < 00:21:58 > < 00:21:59 > < 00:21:60 > < 00:22:00 > < 00:22:01 > T: That had to be one of the most half-hearted, unconvincing "I love you"s in HISTORY. < 00:22:02 > < 00:22:03 > < 00:22:04 > < 00:22:05 > < 00:22:06 > < 00:22:07 > < 00:22:08 > < 00:22:09 > < 00:22:10 > M: Within 5 minutes, she's cheating on him! < 00:22:11 > < 00:22:12 > < 00:22:13 > *AAAAAH!* < 00:22:14 > < 00:22:15 > < 00:22:16 > < 00:22:17 > T: The End! AWWWW. < 00:22:18 > < 00:22:19 > < 00:22:20 > < 00:22:21 > M: We're gonna mow down these children. < 00:22:22 > < 00:22:23 > < 00:22:24 > < 00:22:25 > T: Tonight on FOX after "The OC." < 00:22:26 > < 00:22:27 > < 00:22:28 > T: Take the clip out, are you INSANE?? < 00:22:29 > < 00:22:30 > < 00:22:31 > < 00:22:32 > < 00:22:33 > < 00:22:34 > M: "heh heh, we should really get that back now..." < 00:22:35 > < 00:22:36 > < 00:22:37 > < 00:22:38 > M: Judge Dredd, we sentence you to death! < 00:22:39 > T: I am duh law! < 00:22:40 > < 00:22:41 > < 00:22:42 > < 00:22:43 > < 00:22:44 > T: In the criminal justice system, there are are roaches. GONG GONG. < 00:22:45 > < 00:22:46 > < 00:22:47 > < 00:22:48 > < 00:22:49 > < 00:22:50 > < 00:22:51 > M: Right after The Simpsons. < 00:22:52 > < 00:22:53 > < 00:22:54 > < 00:22:55 > T: John Edwards has been psychic since he was a young child...on Crossing Over. < 00:22:56 > < 00:22:57 > < 00:22:58 > < 00:22:59 > T: HI!!! < 00:22:60 > < 00:23:00 > < 00:23:01 > < 00:23:02 > < 00:23:03 > M: Oh god, did my eye pop out again? < 00:23:04 > < 00:23:05 > < 00:23:06 > < 00:23:07 > < 00:23:08 > < 00:23:09 > < 00:23:10 > M: We teach psychics how to cheat at blackjack! < 00:23:11 > < 00:23:12 > < 00:23:13 > < 00:23:14 > < 00:23:15 > < 00:23:16 > < 00:23:17 > T: Dangers to Wisconsin dairy products. < 00:23:18 > < 00:23:19 > M: So is that mad cow disease? < 00:23:20 > < 00:23:21 > T: The sad truth of McDonalds' beef! < 00:23:22 > < 00:23:23 > < 00:23:24 > < 00:23:25 > < 00:23:26 > < 00:23:27 > < 00:23:28 > < 00:23:29 > M: Eeew. Oddly, this was not a bug-controlled planet. < 00:23:30 > < 00:23:31 > < 00:23:32 > < 00:23:33 > < 00:23:34 > T: Vegans! < 00:23:35 > < 00:23:36 > M: The aftermath of American Idol. < 00:23:37 > < 00:23:38 > < 00:23:39 > < 00:23:40 > M: Bubble City! A city of Pop-O-Matics! < 00:23:41 > < 00:23:42 > < 00:23:43 > T: Hello mutha...hello fatha... < 00:23:44 > < 00:23:45 > < 00:23:46 > < 00:23:47 > < 00:23:48 > < 00:23:49 > M: Thank god! < 00:23:50 > T: I have homicidal tendencies! < 00:23:51 > < 00:23:52 > < 00:23:53 > < 00:23:54 > < 00:23:55 > < 00:23:56 > < 00:23:57 > < 00:23:58 > < 00:23:59 > < 00:23:60 > M: Chests WAY OUT! < 00:24:00 > < 00:24:01 > < 00:24:02 > < 00:24:03 > < 00:24:04 > < 00:24:05 > < 00:24:06 > T: I coulda been in a better movie! < 00:24:07 > < 00:24:08 > M: I'm not even supposed to be here today. < 00:24:09 > < 00:24:10 > < 00:24:11 > < 00:24:12 > < 00:24:13 > < 00:24:14 > M: (like FMJ) "Well what've we got here, a freaking comedian??" < 00:24:15 > < 00:24:16 > < 00:24:17 > < 00:24:18 > < 00:24:19 > < 00:24:20 > < 00:24:21 > < 00:24:22 > < 00:24:23 > < 00:24:24 > < 00:24:25 > < 00:24:26 > < 00:24:27 > T: Or sweetie, whichever you want. < 00:24:28 > < 00:24:29 > < 00:24:30 > < 00:24:31 > < 00:24:32 > < 00:24:33 > < 00:24:34 > < 00:24:35 > < 00:24:36 > M: Bite me! < 00:24:37 > < 00:24:38 > M: Bite me! < 00:24:39 > < 00:24:40 > < 00:24:41 > < 00:24:42 > < 00:24:43 > < 00:24:44 > < 00:24:45 > < 00:24:46 > T: Oh wait, that's the mess. THE OTHER WAY! < 00:24:47 > < 00:24:48 > < 00:24:49 > < 00:24:50 > < 00:24:51 > < 00:24:52 > < 00:24:53 > < 00:24:54 > T: So lemme see ya dance! < 00:24:55 > < 00:24:56 > < 00:24:57 > < 00:24:58 > < 00:24:59 > < 00:24:60 > < 00:25:00 > < 00:25:01 > < 00:25:02 > < 00:25:03 > < 00:25:04 > M: He's gonna breathe on him. < 00:25:05 > < 00:25:06 > < 00:25:07 > T: Strip down! Oil up! < 00:25:08 > < 00:25:09 > < 00:25:10 > < 00:25:11 > < 00:25:12 > < 00:25:13 > < 00:25:14 > < 00:25:15 > T: My PE teacher was like that. Only he wore a clown suit. < 00:25:16 > < 00:25:17 > < 00:25:18 > < 00:25:19 > < 00:25:20 > < 00:25:21 > < 00:25:22 > < 00:25:23 > < 00:25:24 > M: Perceptive. < 00:25:25 > < 00:25:26 > < 00:25:27 > < 00:25:28 > < 00:25:29 > M: "He did it again, we're gonna start charging for this." < 00:25:30 > < 00:25:31 > < 00:25:32 > < 00:25:33 > < 00:25:34 > < 00:25:35 > < 00:25:36 > < 00:25:37 > T: How do you keep a drill sergeant busy, turn over... < 00:25:38 > < 00:25:39 > < 00:25:40 > < 00:25:41 > < 00:25:42 > T: *FART* < 00:25:43 > < 00:25:44 > < 00:25:45 > < 00:25:46 > < 00:25:47 > < 00:25:48 > < 00:25:49 > < 00:25:50 > < 00:25:51 > M: I'm Walter Cronkite, and I'll kick your ass. < 00:25:52 > < 00:25:53 > < 00:25:54 > < 00:25:55 > < 00:25:56 > < 00:25:57 > < 00:25:58 > < 00:25:59 > < 00:25:60 > < 00:26:00 > < 00:26:01 > M: THESE! < 00:26:02 > < 00:26:03 > T: Ohhh you guys got me a stripper, you're the best! < 00:26:04 > < 00:26:05 > < 00:26:06 > < 00:26:07 > < 00:26:08 > < 00:26:09 > < 00:26:10 > < 00:26:11 > < 00:26:12 > < 00:26:13 > M: I guess she learned commando martial arts during her high school football and sociology class. < 00:26:14 > < 00:26:15 > < 00:26:16 > < 00:26:17 > < 00:26:18 > M: Amazing, I didn't feel a thing. < 00:26:19 > < 00:26:20 > < 00:26:21 > < 00:26:22 > < 00:26:23 > < 00:26:24 > < 00:26:25 > < 00:26:26 > T: Say uncle! < 00:26:27 > < 00:26:28 > < 00:26:29 > < 00:26:30 > < 00:26:31 > M: Huhh, all women should be treated like that. < 00:26:32 > < 00:26:33 > T: It gets really out of hand when he drops the People's Elbow on her. < 00:26:34 > < 00:26:35 > < 00:26:36 > < 00:26:37 > < 00:26:38 > M: Soylent Pink is made of people!! < 00:26:39 > < 00:26:40 > < 00:26:41 > < 00:26:42 > < 00:26:43 > < 00:26:44 > < 00:26:45 > < 00:26:46 > < 00:26:47 > < 00:26:48 > T: I'm the arrogant ineffective character, leave me alone. < 00:26:49 > < 00:26:50 > < 00:26:51 > < 00:26:52 > < 00:26:53 > < 00:26:54 > < 00:26:55 > M: Hey look, non-caucasians! < 00:26:56 > < 00:26:57 > < 00:26:58 > < 00:26:59 > < 00:26:60 > < 00:27:00 > < 00:27:01 > < 00:27:02 > < 00:27:03 > < 00:27:04 > < 00:27:05 > T: I naturally assume you are rich. < 00:27:06 > < 00:27:07 > < 00:27:08 > < 00:27:09 > < 00:27:10 > M: I would not want a Busey as my friend, to tell you the truth. < 00:27:11 > < 00:27:12 > < 00:27:13 > < 00:27:14 > < 00:27:15 > < 00:27:16 > < 00:27:17 > < 00:27:18 > < 00:27:19 > < 00:27:20 > < 00:27:21 > T: Aaaahhh I can't wait until most of these guys get fragged. < 00:27:22 > < 00:27:23 > < 00:27:24 > < 00:27:25 > < 00:27:26 > < 00:27:27 > M: Ya stalking freak. < 00:27:28 > < 00:27:29 > < 00:27:30 > < 00:27:31 > < 00:27:32 > < 00:27:33 > M: I mean WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION?? < 00:27:34 > < 00:27:35 > < 00:27:36 > < 00:27:37 > < 00:27:38 > < 00:27:39 > < 00:27:40 > < 00:27:41 > < 00:27:42 > < 00:27:43 > < 00:27:44 > T: ... Okay I did. < 00:27:45 > < 00:27:46 > < 00:27:47 > < 00:27:48 > T: Oh. That's a trade up. Good job, Rico. < 00:27:49 > < 00:27:50 > < 00:27:51 > < 00:27:52 > < 00:27:53 > < 00:27:54 > *American Gladiators theme* < 00:27:55 > < 00:27:56 > < 00:27:57 > < 00:27:58 > < 00:27:59 > < 00:27:60 > < 00:28:00 > < 00:28:01 > < 00:28:02 > < 00:28:03 > < 00:28:04 > < 00:28:05 > < 00:28:06 > < 00:28:07 > < 00:28:08 > < 00:28:09 > < 00:28:10 > < 00:28:11 > < 00:28:12 > < 00:28:13 > M: You WILL engage in recess until the bell rings! < 00:28:14 > < 00:28:15 > < 00:28:16 > < 00:28:17 > < 00:28:18 > M: Throw your butter knives! < 00:28:19 > < 00:28:20 > T: Okay be the knife...be the knife... < 00:28:21 > < 00:28:22 > < 00:28:23 > < 00:28:24 > < 00:28:25 > < 00:28:26 > < 00:28:27 > < 00:28:28 > < 00:28:29 > < 00:28:30 > < 00:28:31 > < 00:28:32 > < 00:28:33 > < 00:28:34 > T: You ain't too smart, are ya son? < 00:28:35 > < 00:28:36 > < 00:28:37 > < 00:28:38 > < 00:28:39 > < 00:28:40 > < 00:28:41 > < 00:28:42 > < 00:28:43 > < 00:28:44 > < 00:28:45 > < 00:28:46 > < 00:28:47 > M: Throws it right in his face. < 00:28:48 > < 00:28:49 > < 00:28:50 > < 00:28:51 > < 00:28:52 > < 00:28:53 > < 00:28:54 > < 00:28:55 > < 00:28:56 > < 00:28:57 > M: I nailed his prosthetic hand to the wall! < 00:28:58 > < 00:28:59 > < 00:28:60 > < 00:29:00 > < 00:29:01 > < 00:29:02 > < 00:29:03 > T: This is why you don't ask questions in sex education. < 00:29:04 > < 00:29:05 > < 00:29:06 > < 00:29:07 > M: ...Or you could just shoot him. < 00:29:08 > < 00:29:09 > < 00:29:10 > < 00:29:11 > < 00:29:12 > < 00:29:13 > < 00:29:14 > < 00:29:15 > < 00:29:16 > T: PRE-pare...Kleenex! < 00:29:17 > < 00:29:18 > < 00:29:19 > < 00:29:20 > < 00:29:21 > < 00:29:22 > < 00:29:23 > < 00:29:24 > < 00:29:25 > < 00:29:26 > T: Yeah huh huh..HEY! < 00:29:27 > < 00:29:28 > < 00:29:29 > < 00:29:30 > < 00:29:31 > < 00:29:32 > < 00:29:33 > < 00:29:34 > < 00:29:35 > < 00:29:36 > < 00:29:37 > < 00:29:38 > M: Wow he can actually look them in the eyes. < 00:29:39 > < 00:29:40 > < 00:29:41 > < 00:29:42 > < 00:29:43 > < 00:29:44 > < 00:29:45 > < 00:29:46 > T: Wonder if it shrinks in the shower, too... < 00:29:47 > < 00:29:48 > < 00:29:49 > < 00:29:50 > < 00:29:51 > < 00:29:52 > < 00:29:53 > < 00:29:54 > < 00:29:55 > < 00:29:56 > < 00:29:57 > < 00:29:58 > < 00:29:59 > < 00:29:60 > < 00:30:00 > < 00:30:01 > M: Hey Rico, anyone ever tell you it's impolite to point? < 00:30:02 > < 00:30:03 > < 00:30:04 > < 00:30:05 > < 00:30:06 > < 00:30:07 > < 00:30:08 > T: Time for Herbal Essence! < 00:30:09 > < 00:30:10 > < 00:30:11 > < 00:30:12 > < 00:30:13 > < 00:30:14 > < 00:30:15 > < 00:30:16 > < 00:30:17 > < 00:30:18 > < 00:30:19 > < 00:30:20 > < 00:30:21 > < 00:30:22 > < 00:30:23 > < 00:30:24 > < 00:30:25 > < 00:30:26 > < 00:30:27 > T: My GOD with showers like this someone's gonna lose an eye. < 00:30:28 > < 00:30:29 > < 00:30:30 > < 00:30:31 > < 00:30:32 > < 00:30:33 > < 00:30:34 > < 00:30:35 > < 00:30:36 > < 00:30:37 > < 00:30:38 > < 00:30:39 > T: WAIT! I wanted to know more! < 00:30:40 > M: Yeah!! < 00:30:41 > < 00:30:42 > < 00:30:43 > < 00:30:44 > < 00:30:45 > < 00:30:46 > < 00:30:47 > < 00:30:48 > < 00:30:49 > < 00:30:50 > < 00:30:51 > < 00:30:52 > < 00:30:53 > < 00:30:54 > < 00:30:55 > < 00:30:56 > No no no! GAAAAH! < 00:30:57 > < 00:30:58 > < 00:30:59 > < 00:30:60 > < 00:31:00 > T: Sorry! < 00:31:01 > < 00:31:02 > < 00:31:03 > < 00:31:04 > < 00:31:05 > < 00:31:06 > < 00:31:07 > < 00:31:08 > < 00:31:09 > < 00:31:10 > M: They have full body-waxing facilities here, obviously. < 00:31:11 > < 00:31:12 > < 00:31:13 > < 00:31:14 > < 00:31:15 > < 00:31:16 > < 00:31:17 > < 00:31:18 > < 00:31:19 > < 00:31:20 > M: Hee hee hee, moving pictures in the magic box! < 00:31:21 > < 00:31:22 > < 00:31:23 > < 00:31:24 > < 00:31:25 > < 00:31:26 > < 00:31:27 > < 00:31:28 > < 00:31:29 > < 00:31:30 > < 00:31:31 > < 00:31:32 > T: Barbie and Skipper's space adventure! < 00:31:33 > < 00:31:34 > < 00:31:35 > < 00:31:36 > < 00:31:37 > < 00:31:38 > < 00:31:39 > < 00:31:40 > M: Well at least they're not in skintight uniforms like OTHER sci-fi shows. < 00:31:41 > < 00:31:42 > M: Why did I say that as a good thing? < 00:31:43 > < 00:31:44 > < 00:31:45 > < 00:31:46 > < 00:31:47 > < 00:31:48 > < 00:31:49 > < 00:31:50 > < 00:31:51 > T: They look like they drive the Disney Monorail. < 00:31:52 > < 00:31:53 > < 00:31:54 > < 00:31:55 > < 00:31:56 > < 00:31:57 > T: CLOSE THE AIRLOCK DOORS! CLEAR THE LAUNCH BAY!! AAAAH! < 00:31:58 > < 00:31:59 > < 00:31:60 > < 00:32:00 > < 00:32:01 > < 00:32:02 > < 00:32:03 > < 00:32:04 > < 00:32:05 > < 00:32:06 > < 00:32:07 > < 00:32:08 > M: We need wings in space? < 00:32:09 > < 00:32:10 > < 00:32:11 > < 00:32:12 > < 00:32:13 > < 00:32:14 > < 00:32:15 > < 00:32:16 > < 00:32:17 > < 00:32:18 > < 00:32:19 > M: Certain death, hee hee! < 00:32:20 > < 00:32:21 > T: Red Two head to the surface. See if you can get some of those TIE Fighters to follow you. < 00:32:22 > < 00:32:23 > < 00:32:24 > < 00:32:25 > < 00:32:26 > < 00:32:27 > < 00:32:28 > < 00:32:29 > < 00:32:30 > < 00:32:31 > < 00:32:32 > < 00:32:33 > < 00:32:34 > < 00:32:35 > M: And she's not in jail because...? < 00:32:36 > < 00:32:37 > < 00:32:38 > YEEEEE HAW!! < 00:32:39 > < 00:32:40 > < 00:32:41 > < 00:32:42 > < 00:32:43 > < 00:32:44 > < 00:32:45 > < 00:32:46 > T: I'm gonna buzz the tower! < 00:32:47 > M: Maverick!! < 00:32:48 > < 00:32:49 > < 00:32:50 > < 00:32:51 > < 00:32:52 > < 00:32:53 > < 00:32:54 > < 00:32:55 > < 00:32:56 > T: What, the cupholder? < 00:32:57 > < 00:32:58 > < 00:32:59 > M: I wouldn't trust her to pilot a zamboni. < 00:32:60 > < 00:33:00 > < 00:33:01 > < 00:33:02 > < 00:33:03 > < 00:33:04 > < 00:33:05 > < 00:33:06 > < 00:33:07 > < 00:33:08 > < 00:33:09 > < 00:33:10 > < 00:33:11 > M: You really gotta be careful or you'll catch your head on those doors. < 00:33:12 > < 00:33:13 > < 00:33:14 > < 00:33:15 > < 00:33:16 > < 00:33:17 > < 00:33:18 > < 00:33:19 > < 00:33:20 > < 00:33:21 > T: That's Captain Janeway to you, Ensign! < 00:33:22 > < 00:33:23 > < 00:33:24 > < 00:33:25 > T: I said Captain Janeway! < 00:33:26 > M: I'm responsible for the lives of 300 crewmen on this ship! < 00:33:27 > < 00:33:28 > < 00:33:29 > < 00:33:30 > < 00:33:31 > T: Space Bimbo confirmed. < 00:33:32 > M: Rob Lowe! < 00:33:33 > < 00:33:34 > < 00:33:35 > < 00:33:36 > < 00:33:37 > < 00:33:38 > < 00:33:39 > < 00:33:40 > < 00:33:41 > < 00:33:42 > < 00:33:43 > < 00:33:44 > < 00:33:45 > < 00:33:46 > < 00:33:47 > < 00:33:48 > < 00:33:49 > M: You can call me DADDY. < 00:33:50 > < 00:33:51 > < 00:33:52 > < 00:33:53 > M: Yes captain Janeway. < 00:33:54 > < 00:33:55 > T: Now wait, they all signed up at the same time, right? So how is she a qualified pilot and he's an instructor? < 00:33:56 > < 00:33:57 > M: Yeah and Rico's still in boot. It's been a week tops! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? < 00:33:58 > < 00:33:59 > < 00:33:60 > < 00:34:00 > < 00:34:01 > < 00:34:02 > < 00:34:03 > < 00:34:04 > < 00:34:05 > < 00:34:06 > < 00:34:07 > M: He's not talking about the flight stick. < 00:34:08 > < 00:34:09 > < 00:34:10 > < 00:34:11 > < 00:34:12 > T: I'm creepy like that. < 00:34:13 > < 00:34:14 > < 00:34:15 > < 00:34:16 > < 00:34:17 > < 00:34:18 > < 00:34:19 > T: Warp Factor 5! < 00:34:20 > < 00:34:21 > < 00:34:22 > < 00:34:23 > < 00:34:24 > < 00:34:25 > < 00:34:26 > < 00:34:27 > < 00:34:28 > < 00:34:29 > < 00:34:30 > < 00:34:31 > < 00:34:32 > < 00:34:33 > *Truck backing up noise* < 00:34:34 > < 00:34:35 > < 00:34:36 > M: Check your mirrors! < 00:34:37 > < 00:34:38 > < 00:34:39 > < 00:34:40 > < 00:34:41 > T: Engage the Merry-Go-Round < 00:34:42 > < 00:34:43 > < 00:34:44 > < 00:34:45 > < 00:34:46 > M: Look at that switch she just turned off the computer. < 00:34:47 > < 00:34:48 > < 00:34:49 > < 00:34:50 > < 00:34:51 > < 00:34:52 > < 00:34:53 > < 00:34:54 > < 00:34:55 > < 00:34:56 > < 00:34:57 > < 00:34:58 > < 00:34:59 > < 00:34:60 > < 00:35:00 > < 00:35:01 > M: You're pulling rank and stuff. < 00:35:02 > < 00:35:03 > < 00:35:04 > < 00:35:05 > < 00:35:06 > < 00:35:07 > T: I always hated parallel parking too. < 00:35:08 > < 00:35:09 > < 00:35:10 > < 00:35:11 > < 00:35:12 > < 00:35:13 > < 00:35:14 > < 00:35:15 > < 00:35:16 > < 00:35:17 > < 00:35:18 > < 00:35:19 > < 00:35:20 > < 00:35:21 > < 00:35:22 > < 00:35:23 > < 00:35:24 > < 00:35:25 > < 00:35:26 > < 00:35:27 > < 00:35:28 > M: And we'll all be dead. < 00:35:29 > < 00:35:30 > T: Will you spank me? < 00:35:31 > < 00:35:32 > < 00:35:33 > < 00:35:34 > M: ...Yeah on that note, get out of the seat. < 00:35:35 > < 00:35:36 > < 00:35:37 > T: When did she learn how to fly a capital ship of the fleet? IT TAKES YEARS! < 00:35:38 > < 00:35:39 > < 00:35:40 > < 00:35:41 > < 00:35:42 > < 00:35:43 > T: We have WARP?? < 00:35:44 > < 00:35:45 > < 00:35:46 > M: Number ONE? So he's the FIRST OFFICER of this ship?? What the-- < 00:35:47 > < 00:35:48 > T: That's right, so Space Bimbo is third in command after a week of officer training. < 00:35:49 > < 00:35:50 > < 00:35:51 > < 00:35:52 > < 00:35:53 > < 00:35:54 > < 00:35:55 > < 00:35:56 > < 00:35:57 > < 00:35:58 > < 00:35:59 > T: Yeah the "Ready Steady Go" command is standard procedure for warp protocols. < 00:35:60 > < 00:36:00 > < 00:36:01 > < 00:36:02 > < 00:36:03 > < 00:36:04 > < 00:36:05 > < 00:36:06 > M: Meanwhile, Rico's still training for INFANTRY. < 00:36:07 > < 00:36:08 > < 00:36:09 > < 00:36:10 > < 00:36:11 > < 00:36:12 > < 00:36:13 > M: Run right into my line of fire, good! < 00:36:14 > < 00:36:15 > < 00:36:16 > < 00:36:17 > < 00:36:18 > < 00:36:19 > < 00:36:20 > < 00:36:21 > T: Where'd you come from? < 00:36:22 > < 00:36:23 > < 00:36:24 > < 00:36:25 > < 00:36:26 > < 00:36:27 > < 00:36:28 > M: Cover us! Knew we forgot something. < 00:36:29 > < 00:36:30 > T: They're the infantry that knows no concept of sticking to cover. < 00:36:31 > < 00:36:32 > < 00:36:33 > < 00:36:34 > < 00:36:35 > < 00:36:36 > < 00:36:37 > < 00:36:38 > < 00:36:39 > T: What'd you call me?? < 00:36:40 > < 00:36:41 > M: Up your 3-hole! < 00:36:42 > < 00:36:43 > < 00:36:44 > < 00:36:45 > < 00:36:46 > < 00:36:47 > < 00:36:48 > < 00:36:49 > < 00:36:50 > < 00:36:51 > < 00:36:52 > < 00:36:53 > < 00:36:54 > < 00:36:55 > < 00:36:56 > T: So you're invincible if you just keep doing John Woo style flips and diving moves. < 00:36:57 > < 00:36:58 > < 00:36:59 > < 00:36:60 > < 00:37:00 > < 00:37:01 > < 00:37:02 > < 00:37:03 > < 00:37:04 > < 00:37:05 > < 00:37:06 > < 00:37:07 > < 00:37:08 > M: Hey we're your reinforcements, BLAAAGH! < 00:37:09 > < 00:37:10 > < 00:37:11 > < 00:37:12 > < 00:37:13 > < 00:37:14 > < 00:37:15 > < 00:37:16 > < 00:37:17 > T: Don't try this in Counterstrike, it's all I'm saying. < 00:37:18 > < 00:37:19 > < 00:37:20 > < 00:37:21 > < 00:37:22 > < 00:37:23 > < 00:37:24 > M: Captured the wrong flag though, stupid bastard. < 00:37:25 > < 00:37:26 > < 00:37:27 > < 00:37:28 > < 00:37:29 > < 00:37:30 > < 00:37:31 > < 00:37:32 > < 00:37:33 > *wipes nose* < 00:37:34 > < 00:37:35 > < 00:37:36 > < 00:37:37 > < 00:37:38 > < 00:37:39 > < 00:37:40 > < 00:37:41 > < 00:37:42 > < 00:37:43 > < 00:37:44 > M: Yeaaaah stick it up yer flip-six three hole. < 00:37:45 > < 00:37:46 > < 00:37:47 > < 00:37:48 > < 00:37:49 > < 00:37:50 > < 00:37:51 > < 00:37:52 > < 00:37:53 > < 00:37:54 > < 00:37:55 > < 00:37:56 > < 00:37:57 > < 00:37:58 > T: Diz let go of my hand. Diz? DIZ?? < 00:37:59 > < 00:37:60 > < 00:38:00 > < 00:38:01 > < 00:38:02 > < 00:38:03 > < 00:38:04 > < 00:38:05 > < 00:38:06 > < 00:38:07 > < 00:38:08 > < 00:38:09 > < 00:38:10 > < 00:38:11 > < 00:38:12 > < 00:38:13 > M: This isn't a very good episode of Birds of Prey. < 00:38:14 > < 00:38:15 > < 00:38:16 > < 00:38:17 > < 00:38:18 > < 00:38:19 > < 00:38:20 > < 00:38:21 > < 00:38:22 > < 00:38:23 > M: I'm a pilot already! < 00:38:24 > < 00:38:25 > T: I fly the metal birdies! < 00:38:26 > < 00:38:27 > < 00:38:28 > < 00:38:29 > < 00:38:30 > < 00:38:31 > < 00:38:32 > < 00:38:33 > < 00:38:34 > M: I made Lieutenant Commander already! < 00:38:35 > < 00:38:36 > < 00:38:37 > < 00:38:38 > < 00:38:39 > < 00:38:40 > T: Denise, if I was Rico I'd be starin' at Uranus too. < 00:38:41 > < 00:38:42 > < 00:38:43 > < 00:38:44 > < 00:38:45 > < 00:38:46 > < 00:38:47 > < 00:38:48 > < 00:38:49 > < 00:38:50 > < 00:38:51 > < 00:38:52 > < 00:38:53 > < 00:38:54 > < 00:38:55 > M: Incoming Dear John Rico letter. < 00:38:56 > < 00:38:57 > < 00:38:58 > < 00:38:59 > T: You HAVE a command and a ship of your own. < 00:38:60 > < 00:39:00 > < 00:39:01 > < 00:39:02 > < 00:39:03 > < 00:39:04 > < 00:39:05 > < 00:39:06 > < 00:39:07 > < 00:39:08 > < 00:39:09 > < 00:39:10 > < 00:39:11 > < 00:39:12 > < 00:39:13 > < 00:39:14 > < 00:39:15 > < 00:39:16 > < 00:39:17 > < 00:39:18 > T: You didn't really think she'd end up with Wayne, did you? < 00:39:19 > < 00:39:20 > < 00:39:21 > < 00:39:22 > < 00:39:23 > < 00:39:24 > < 00:39:25 > < 00:39:26 > < 00:39:27 > M: Uhmm how do you turn this thing off? Uhm... hmm... < 00:39:28 > < 00:39:29 > < 00:39:30 > < 00:39:31 > < 00:39:32 > < 00:39:33 > < 00:39:34 > < 00:39:35 > M: P.S. OH XANDER!! OH XANDER! < 00:39:36 > < 00:39:37 > < 00:39:38 > < 00:39:39 > < 00:39:40 > < 00:39:41 > < 00:39:42 > < 00:39:43 > < 00:39:44 > < 00:39:45 > < 00:39:46 > < 00:39:47 > < 00:39:48 > < 00:39:49 > < 00:39:50 > T: Ah, now Ace makes his move. < 00:39:51 > < 00:39:52 > < 00:39:53 > < 00:39:54 > < 00:39:55 > < 00:39:56 > < 00:39:57 > < 00:39:58 > < 00:39:59 > < 00:39:60 > < 00:40:00 > < 00:40:01 > < 00:40:02 > < 00:40:03 > < 00:40:04 > < 00:40:05 > < 00:40:06 > < 00:40:07 > < 00:40:08 > < 00:40:09 > < 00:40:10 > < 00:40:11 > < 00:40:12 > < 00:40:13 > < 00:40:14 > T: You're trying to KEEP me from hanging myself, right? < 00:40:15 > < 00:40:16 > < 00:40:17 > < 00:40:18 > < 00:40:19 > < 00:40:20 > < 00:40:21 > < 00:40:22 > < 00:40:23 > < 00:40:24 > < 00:40:25 > < 00:40:26 > M: In my sandbox! < 00:40:27 > < 00:40:28 > < 00:40:29 > < 00:40:30 > < 00:40:31 > < 00:40:32 > < 00:40:33 > < 00:40:34 > < 00:40:35 > < 00:40:36 > < 00:40:37 > < 00:40:38 > < 00:40:39 > < 00:40:40 > < 00:40:41 > < 00:40:42 > < 00:40:43 > T: But ya won't! < 00:40:44 > < 00:40:45 > < 00:40:46 > < 00:40:47 > < 00:40:48 > < 00:40:49 > < 00:40:50 > < 00:40:51 > M: You will play with my box of men! < 00:40:52 > < 00:40:53 > < 00:40:54 > < 00:40:55 > < 00:40:56 > T: Oh THAT'S down, right! < 00:40:57 > < 00:40:58 > < 00:40:59 > < 00:40:60 > < 00:41:00 > < 00:41:01 > < 00:41:02 > < 00:41:03 > < 00:41:04 > < 00:41:05 > < 00:41:06 > < 00:41:07 > < 00:41:08 > < 00:41:09 > T: Mah deformed inbred skull is too lumpy and irregular! < 00:41:10 > < 00:41:11 > < 00:41:12 > < 00:41:13 > < 00:41:14 > < 00:41:15 > < 00:41:16 > < 00:41:17 > < 00:41:18 > < 00:41:19 > < 00:41:20 > < 00:41:21 > < 00:41:22 > < 00:41:23 > < 00:41:24 > < 00:41:25 > < 00:41:26 > < 00:41:27 > < 00:41:28 > < 00:41:29 > M: Well he was hit in the head so nothing important was really damaged. < 00:41:30 > < 00:41:31 > < 00:41:32 > < 00:41:33 > < 00:41:34 > < 00:41:35 > < 00:41:36 > < 00:41:37 > T: He's been sent to the principal's office. < 00:41:38 > < 00:41:39 > < 00:41:40 > < 00:41:41 > < 00:41:42 > < 00:41:43 > < 00:41:44 > < 00:41:45 > < 00:41:46 > < 00:41:47 > < 00:41:48 > < 00:41:49 > < 00:41:50 > < 00:41:51 > < 00:41:52 > M: Ah, they haven't unlocked the mysteries of "helmet" yet. < 00:41:53 > < 00:41:54 > < 00:41:55 > < 00:41:56 > < 00:41:57 > T: LIVE FIRE EXERCISE! < 00:41:58 > < 00:41:59 > < 00:41:60 > < 00:42:00 > < 00:42:01 > < 00:42:02 > < 00:42:03 > < 00:42:04 > < 00:42:05 > < 00:42:06 > T: Can you get me some coffee? Thanks. < 00:42:07 > < 00:42:08 > < 00:42:09 > < 00:42:10 > < 00:42:11 > M: Tonight on a very special Moesha. < 00:42:12 > < 00:42:13 > < 00:42:14 > < 00:42:15 > < 00:42:16 > < 00:42:17 > M: Wait, she kills a guy in training and there's no court martial? < 00:42:18 > < 00:42:19 > < 00:42:20 > < 00:42:21 > < 00:42:22 > < 00:42:23 > < 00:42:24 > < 00:42:25 > < 00:42:26 > < 00:42:27 > < 00:42:28 > < 00:42:29 > < 00:42:30 > < 00:42:31 > T: He's good eatin'! < 00:42:32 > < 00:42:33 > M: Let's make him a practice dummy in a LIVE FIRE EXERCISE! < 00:42:34 > < 00:42:35 > < 00:42:36 > < 00:42:37 > < 00:42:38 > < 00:42:39 > < 00:42:40 > < 00:42:41 > < 00:42:42 > < 00:42:43 > < 00:42:44 > < 00:42:45 > < 00:42:46 > < 00:42:47 > < 00:42:48 > < 00:42:49 > T: You will be chained to the spanking machine! < 00:42:50 > < 00:42:51 > < 00:42:52 > < 00:42:53 > < 00:42:54 > < 00:42:55 > < 00:42:56 > < 00:42:57 > < 00:42:58 > < 00:42:59 > T: You wouldn't think this structure would see a lot of use but it looks pretty well maintained. < 00:42:60 > < 00:43:00 > < 00:43:01 > < 00:43:02 > < 00:43:03 > < 00:43:04 > < 00:43:05 > < 00:43:06 > M: I use it myself on shore leave for them Singapore ladies < 00:43:07 > < 00:43:08 > < 00:43:09 > < 00:43:10 > < 00:43:11 > < 00:43:12 > < 00:43:13 > < 00:43:14 > < 00:43:15 > < 00:43:16 > < 00:43:17 > < 00:43:18 > < 00:43:19 > < 00:43:20 > < 00:43:21 > < 00:43:22 > < 00:43:23 > < 00:43:24 > < 00:43:25 > Live fire exercise! < 00:43:26 > < 00:43:27 > < 00:43:28 > < 00:43:29 > < 00:43:30 > < 00:43:31 > M: During a live fire exercise! < 00:43:32 > < 00:43:33 > < 00:43:34 > T: Bah command o' Captain Chipped Tooth. < 00:43:35 > < 00:43:36 > < 00:43:37 > < 00:43:38 > < 00:43:39 > < 00:43:40 > < 00:43:41 > < 00:43:42 > < 00:43:43 > < 00:43:44 > < 00:43:45 > < 00:43:46 > M: We call this one, "Crossing the Desert" < 00:43:47 > < 00:43:48 > < 00:43:49 > < 00:43:50 > < 00:43:51 > T: And now "The Unblinking Eye" < 00:43:52 > < 00:43:53 > < 00:43:54 > < 00:43:55 > < 00:43:56 > < 00:43:57 > < 00:43:58 > < 00:43:59 > < 00:43:60 > < 00:44:00 > < 00:44:01 > < 00:44:02 > < 00:44:03 > T: THANK YOU SIR, may I have another?? < 00:44:04 > < 00:44:05 > < 00:44:06 > < 00:44:07 > < 00:44:08 > < 00:44:09 > < 00:44:10 > < 00:44:11 > < 00:44:12 > < 00:44:13 > T: And NOW... THE ADVENTURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRESSSSSSS OF SPAAAAAAAAACE BIMBOOOOOOOO!!! < 00:44:14 > < 00:44:15 > < 00:44:16 > < 00:44:17 > < 00:44:18 > M: Now we join Battlestar: Galactica already in progress. < 00:44:19 > < 00:44:20 > < 00:44:21 > < 00:44:22 > < 00:44:23 > < 00:44:24 > < 00:44:25 > < 00:44:26 > < 00:44:27 > < 00:44:28 > M: So she's a cadet and she's left in charge of the ENTIRE SHIP < 00:44:29 > < 00:44:30 > < 00:44:31 > < 00:44:32 > T: The rest of the crew is just asleep I guess. < 00:44:33 > < 00:44:34 > < 00:44:35 > < 00:44:36 > < 00:44:37 > < 00:44:38 > < 00:44:39 > T: Bad news, we're the only ones on board. Wonder where everyone went. < 00:44:40 > < 00:44:41 > < 00:44:42 > < 00:44:43 > < 00:44:44 > < 00:44:45 > M: OOPS! *BZZZZT* < 00:44:46 > < 00:44:47 > < 00:44:48 > < 00:44:49 > < 00:44:50 > < 00:44:51 > < 00:44:52 > < 00:44:53 > < 00:44:54 > *porno music* < 00:44:55 > < 00:44:56 > < 00:44:57 > < 00:44:58 > < 00:44:59 > < 00:44:60 > < 00:45:00 > < 00:45:01 > < 00:45:02 > M: You playing Master of Orion again? < 00:45:03 > < 00:45:04 > < 00:45:05 > < 00:45:06 > < 00:45:07 > < 00:45:08 > < 00:45:09 > < 00:45:10 > < 00:45:11 > < 00:45:12 > T: Lick my WHAT? Lick my nads??? EEEW!! < 00:45:13 > < 00:45:14 > < 00:45:15 > M: No!! You are one creepy chick! < 00:45:16 > < 00:45:17 > < 00:45:18 > < 00:45:19 > T: What do you think that spinning thing in the back is? < 00:45:20 > < 00:45:21 > < 00:45:22 > M: A snow cone maker? < 00:45:23 > < 00:45:24 > < 00:45:25 > < 00:45:26 > < 00:45:27 > < 00:45:28 > < 00:45:29 > < 00:45:30 > < 00:45:31 > < 00:45:32 > < 00:45:33 > < 00:45:34 > < 00:45:35 > < 00:45:36 > T: Yeah it takes a real genius to figure out the shortest distance between two points IS A STRAIGHT LINE!! < 00:45:37 > < 00:45:38 > < 00:45:39 > < 00:45:40 > < 00:45:41 > T: Something about visiting Neelix and Tuvok on the holodeck. < 00:45:42 > < 00:45:43 > < 00:45:44 > < 00:45:45 > < 00:45:46 > < 00:45:47 > < 00:45:48 > < 00:45:49 > < 00:45:50 > < 00:45:51 > < 00:45:52 > < 00:45:53 > < 00:45:54 > < 00:45:55 > M: Speaking of curves. < 00:45:56 > < 00:45:57 > < 00:45:58 > < 00:45:59 > < 00:45:60 > < 00:46:00 > < 00:46:01 > < 00:46:02 > < 00:46:03 > < 00:46:04 > < 00:46:05 > M: I'm clueless! < 00:46:06 > < 00:46:07 > < 00:46:08 > < 00:46:09 > < 00:46:10 > < 00:46:11 > < 00:46:12 > < 00:46:13 > < 00:46:14 > < 00:46:15 > < 00:46:16 > < 00:46:17 > T: Or it's a dinosaur. < 00:46:18 > < 00:46:19 > < 00:46:20 > < 00:46:21 > < 00:46:22 > < 00:46:23 > M: Hah! I feel vindicated! No one can lick my nads! < 00:46:24 > < 00:46:25 > < 00:46:26 > < 00:46:27 > < 00:46:28 > < 00:46:29 > < 00:46:30 > < 00:46:31 > < 00:46:32 > < 00:46:33 > < 00:46:34 > M: Or Tron! < 00:46:35 > < 00:46:36 > < 00:46:37 > < 00:46:38 > < 00:46:39 > T: Well TURN!! < 00:46:40 > < 00:46:41 > < 00:46:42 > < 00:46:43 > T: Take us out of slipstream! I mean hyperspace! I mean warp! < 00:46:44 > < 00:46:45 > < 00:46:46 > < 00:46:47 > < 00:46:48 > < 00:46:49 > < 00:46:50 > < 00:46:51 > M: You need to break emergency glass to move the hell out of the way? < 00:46:52 > < 00:46:53 > < 00:46:54 > < 00:46:55 > < 00:46:56 > < 00:46:57 > T: Why are you counting down?? Just GRAB THE STICK AND TURN! < 00:46:58 > < 00:46:59 > M: Ready steady go! < 00:46:60 > < 00:47:00 > < 00:47:01 > < 00:47:02 > < 00:47:03 > < 00:47:04 > < 00:47:05 > < 00:47:06 > < 00:47:07 > < 00:47:08 > < 00:47:09 > < 00:47:10 > < 00:47:11 > < 00:47:12 > < 00:47:13 > T: Whoops, that's the bridge. < 00:47:14 > M: You break it you bought it lady. < 00:47:15 > < 00:47:16 > < 00:47:17 > < 00:47:18 > < 00:47:19 > < 00:47:20 > M: So that one giant green button closes Compartment 21, huh. < 00:47:21 > T: You think the captain'll notice? < 00:47:22 > < 00:47:23 > < 00:47:24 > T: Uh oh, better get Maaco. < 00:47:25 > < 00:47:26 > < 00:47:27 > < 00:47:28 > < 00:47:29 > < 00:47:30 > < 00:47:31 > < 00:47:32 > < 00:47:33 > < 00:47:34 > < 00:47:35 > < 00:47:36 > M: It came from SPACE, Ma'am. < 00:47:37 > < 00:47:38 > < 00:47:39 > < 00:47:40 > < 00:47:41 > < 00:47:42 > < 00:47:43 > T: Even in the future, cell phone service sucks. < 00:47:44 > < 00:47:45 > < 00:47:46 > < 00:47:47 > T: No shit. < 00:47:48 > < 00:47:49 > < 00:47:50 > < 00:47:51 > < 00:47:52 > < 00:47:53 > < 00:47:54 > < 00:47:55 > < 00:47:56 > < 00:47:57 > M: Actually it's because of the flight team that you're in this mess. < 00:47:58 > < 00:47:59 > < 00:47:60 > < 00:48:00 > M: Gotta pack all my porn...porn...Rubik's cube... < 00:48:01 > < 00:48:02 > < 00:48:03 > < 00:48:04 > < 00:48:05 > < 00:48:06 > < 00:48:07 > < 00:48:08 > < 00:48:09 > < 00:48:10 > T: Pats 'im on the back "Hey Johnny!" < 00:48:11 > < 00:48:12 > < 00:48:13 > < 00:48:14 > < 00:48:15 > < 00:48:16 > < 00:48:17 > < 00:48:18 > < 00:48:19 > < 00:48:20 > M: You buy ALL your clothes from the Gap? < 00:48:21 > < 00:48:22 > < 00:48:23 > < 00:48:24 > < 00:48:25 > < 00:48:26 > < 00:48:27 > < 00:48:28 > < 00:48:29 > < 00:48:30 > < 00:48:31 > < 00:48:32 > < 00:48:33 > < 00:48:34 > < 00:48:35 > < 00:48:36 > < 00:48:37 > < 00:48:38 > < 00:48:39 > < 00:48:40 > < 00:48:41 > < 00:48:42 > M: TRYIN' TA MAKE A COLLECT CALL TO BUENOS AIRES?? DIAL 1-800 CALL ATT! < 00:48:43 > < 00:48:44 > < 00:48:45 > < 00:48:46 > < 00:48:47 > < 00:48:48 > < 00:48:49 > < 00:48:50 > T: Where is that little dickweed... < 00:48:51 > M: You are CUT OFF! < 00:48:52 > < 00:48:53 > < 00:48:54 > < 00:48:55 > < 00:48:56 > < 00:48:57 > T: They spanked me! < 00:48:58 > < 00:48:59 > < 00:48:60 > < 00:49:00 > < 00:49:01 > < 00:49:02 > < 00:49:03 > < 00:49:04 > M: NO!!! < 00:49:05 > T: Well we just rented your room out and... < 00:49:06 > < 00:49:07 > < 00:49:08 > < 00:49:09 > < 00:49:10 > < 00:49:11 > < 00:49:12 > < 00:49:13 > < 00:49:14 > < 00:49:15 > M: Made your favorite meal! Whiny on toast. < 00:49:16 > < 00:49:17 > < 00:49:18 > < 00:49:19 > < 00:49:20 > < 00:49:21 > < 00:49:22 > T: It's the mother in law! The sky blackens at her approach! < 00:49:23 > < 00:49:24 > < 00:49:25 > < 00:49:26 > < 00:49:27 > < 00:49:28 > < 00:49:29 > < 00:49:30 > < 00:49:31 > < 00:49:32 > < 00:49:33 > < 00:49:34 > < 00:49:35 > < 00:49:36 > T: Why does the mobile infantry wear suspenders? < 00:49:37 > < 00:49:38 > < 00:49:39 > < 00:49:40 > < 00:49:41 > < 00:49:42 > < 00:49:43 > < 00:49:44 > M: You're not the star of this movie. < 00:49:45 > < 00:49:46 > < 00:49:47 > < 00:49:48 > < 00:49:49 > < 00:49:50 > < 00:49:51 > < 00:49:52 > M: That tightens my lips! EERRRGH! < 00:49:53 > < 00:49:54 > < 00:49:55 > T: I'll show her, I'll be indignant and screw up some more! < 00:49:56 > < 00:49:57 > < 00:49:58 > < 00:49:59 > < 00:49:60 > < 00:50:00 > < 00:50:01 > *Tickets for the movie cost six bucks, but the joke's on you this movie sucks!* < 00:50:02 > < 00:50:03 > < 00:50:04 > < 00:50:05 > < 00:50:06 > < 00:50:07 > < 00:50:08 > < 00:50:09 > < 00:50:10 > < 00:50:11 > < 00:50:12 > < 00:50:13 > < 00:50:14 > T: Blond dork walkin'! < 00:50:15 > < 00:50:16 > < 00:50:17 > < 00:50:18 > < 00:50:19 > < 00:50:20 > < 00:50:21 > < 00:50:22 > < 00:50:23 > < 00:50:24 > < 00:50:25 > < 00:50:26 > M: Hurry! It's co-ed shower time!! < 00:50:27 > < 00:50:28 > T: Soldiers, like zerbas are easily spooked at the scent of a predator. < 00:50:29 > < 00:50:30 > < 00:50:31 > < 00:50:32 > < 00:50:33 > < 00:50:34 > < 00:50:35 > < 00:50:36 > T: Latoya got voted off American Idol! KILL 'EM ALL! < 00:50:37 > < 00:50:38 > < 00:50:39 > < 00:50:40 > < 00:50:41 > < 00:50:42 > M: Why are they lining up in front of the ice cream truck? < 00:50:43 > < 00:50:44 > < 00:50:45 > < 00:50:46 > < 00:50:47 > M: All because of Robocop. < 00:50:48 > < 00:50:49 > < 00:50:50 > < 00:50:51 > < 00:50:52 > < 00:50:53 > < 00:50:54 > < 00:50:55 > < 00:50:56 > < 00:50:57 > < 00:50:58 > < 00:50:59 > T: In case you missed the first scene. < 00:50:60 > < 00:51:00 > < 00:51:01 > M: Look at that guy in front. ACHOO! < 00:51:02 > < 00:51:03 > < 00:51:04 > < 00:51:05 > < 00:51:06 > < 00:51:07 > < 00:51:08 > < 00:51:09 > < 00:51:10 > < 00:51:11 > M: With no Latin people in it. < 00:51:12 > < 00:51:13 > < 00:51:14 > < 00:51:15 > < 00:51:16 > < 00:51:17 > < 00:51:18 > T: That's not what we're showing you, but it's got lots of fire and stuff. < 00:51:19 > < 00:51:20 > < 00:51:21 > < 00:51:22 > < 00:51:23 > < 00:51:24 > < 00:51:25 > < 00:51:26 > < 00:51:27 > < 00:51:28 > < 00:51:29 > < 00:51:30 > < 00:51:31 > < 00:51:32 > M: So the bugs subscribe to the Rock and Awe campaign. < 00:51:33 > < 00:51:34 > < 00:51:35 > < 00:51:36 > T: Hang on I gotta pee. < 00:51:37 > < 00:51:38 > < 00:51:39 > < 00:51:40 > < 00:51:41 > < 00:51:42 > < 00:51:43 > < 00:51:44 > < 00:51:45 > < 00:51:46 > < 00:51:47 > < 00:51:48 > M: We're not talkin' about a LIVE FIRE EXERCISE here! < 00:51:49 > T: Okay enough! < 00:51:50 > < 00:51:51 > < 00:51:52 > < 00:51:53 > < 00:51:54 > < 00:51:55 > < 00:51:56 > < 00:51:57 > < 00:51:58 > < 00:51:59 > < 00:51:60 > < 00:52:00 > < 00:52:01 > < 00:52:02 > < 00:52:03 > < 00:52:04 > < 00:52:05 > < 00:52:06 > T: Look at him suck his lips in, he's about to devour his own face! < 00:52:07 > < 00:52:08 > < 00:52:09 > < 00:52:10 > < 00:52:11 > < 00:52:12 > < 00:52:13 > < 00:52:14 > < 00:52:15 > M: Why sir, that's filthy... < 00:52:16 > < 00:52:17 > < 00:52:18 > < 00:52:19 > < 00:52:20 > < 00:52:21 > < 00:52:22 > < 00:52:23 > < 00:52:24 > < 00:52:25 > < 00:52:26 > M: But it is! You're not looking hard enough, it says Johnny RI-- < 00:52:27 > T: Shut up you idiot! < 00:52:28 > < 00:52:29 > < 00:52:30 > < 00:52:31 > < 00:52:32 > < 00:52:33 > < 00:52:34 > T: These broadcasts do NOT improve nationwide morale. < 00:52:35 > < 00:52:36 > M: Richard Gere today said that we should love the bugs, not fight them. < 00:52:37 > < 00:52:38 > < 00:52:39 > *HUNH!* Good god y'all, What iiiis it good for? < 00:52:40 > < 00:52:41 > < 00:52:42 > < 00:52:43 > < 00:52:44 > < 00:52:45 > < 00:52:46 > < 00:52:47 > < 00:52:48 > < 00:52:49 > < 00:52:50 > < 00:52:51 > M: Then hunger. < 00:52:52 > < 00:52:53 > < 00:52:54 > < 00:52:55 > < 00:52:56 > < 00:52:57 > < 00:52:58 > < 00:52:59 > < 00:52:60 > < 00:53:00 > T: We will fight on the seas and oceans. < 00:53:01 > < 00:53:02 > < 00:53:03 > < 00:53:04 > < 00:53:05 > < 00:53:06 > < 00:53:07 > < 00:53:08 > < 00:53:09 > < 00:53:10 > < 00:53:11 > < 00:53:12 > < 00:53:13 > < 00:53:14 > < 00:53:15 > < 00:53:16 > < 00:53:17 > < 00:53:18 > < 00:53:19 > < 00:53:20 > < 00:53:21 > T: C-SPAN's much more interesting with its new format. < 00:53:22 > < 00:53:23 > < 00:53:24 > < 00:53:25 > < 00:53:26 > < 00:53:27 > < 00:53:28 > < 00:53:29 > < 00:53:30 > < 00:53:31 > < 00:53:32 > < 00:53:33 > < 00:53:34 > < 00:53:35 > < 00:53:36 > < 00:53:37 > < 00:53:38 > < 00:53:39 > < 00:53:40 > < 00:53:41 > < 00:53:42 > < 00:53:43 > M: Doogie would you STOP that? < 00:53:44 > < 00:53:45 > < 00:53:46 > T: < 00:53:47 > < 00:53:48 > < 00:53:49 > < 00:53:50 > < 00:53:51 > < 00:53:52 > M: Tonight on Family Double Dare! Squash the ooky Nickelodeon bugs. < 00:53:53 > < 00:53:54 > < 00:53:55 > < 00:53:56 > < 00:53:57 > < 00:53:58 > T: The Federation needs your mass insanity! < 00:53:59 > < 00:53:60 > < 00:54:00 > < 00:54:01 > < 00:54:02 > < 00:54:03 > < 00:54:04 > < 00:54:05 > < 00:54:06 > < 00:54:07 > < 00:54:08 > < 00:54:09 > < 00:54:10 > < 00:54:11 > < 00:54:12 > < 00:54:13 > M: Tonight on B.S. Nine. < 00:54:14 > T: Look out! CRASH! < 00:54:15 > < 00:54:16 > < 00:54:17 > < 00:54:18 > < 00:54:19 > < 00:54:20 > < 00:54:21 > < 00:54:22 > < 00:54:23 > < 00:54:24 > < 00:54:25 > T: Why would they not tell anybody?? It's not like the bugs can intercept and decrypt transmissions. < 00:54:26 > < 00:54:27 > < 00:54:28 > < 00:54:29 > < 00:54:30 > < 00:54:31 > < 00:54:32 > < 00:54:33 > < 00:54:34 > < 00:54:35 > < 00:54:36 > < 00:54:37 > < 00:54:38 > M: And who are you wearing this evening? < 00:54:39 > < 00:54:40 > < 00:54:41 > < 00:54:42 > < 00:54:43 > < 00:54:44 > < 00:54:45 > < 00:54:46 > < 00:54:47 > < 00:54:48 > < 00:54:49 > < 00:54:50 > < 00:54:51 > < 00:54:52 > < 00:54:53 > T: Would you like to know more? < 00:54:54 > < 00:54:55 > < 00:54:56 > < 00:54:57 > < 00:54:58 > < 00:54:59 > < 00:54:60 > T: I'm not NEARLY drunk enough for that. < 00:55:00 > < 00:55:01 > < 00:55:02 > < 00:55:03 > < 00:55:04 > < 00:55:05 > < 00:55:06 > M: Uh oh. < 00:55:07 > T: Incoming battle ax alert. < 00:55:08 > < 00:55:09 > < 00:55:10 > < 00:55:11 > M: I'm here to open up old emotional wounds! huh huhuh! < 00:55:12 > < 00:55:13 > < 00:55:14 > < 00:55:15 > T: May I take your order? < 00:55:16 > < 00:55:17 > < 00:55:18 > < 00:55:19 > T: They made me a real space pilot now! I get to fly the zoomy things with wings and raise shields and stuff. < 00:55:20 > < 00:55:21 > < 00:55:22 > < 00:55:23 > < 00:55:24 > < 00:55:25 > < 00:55:26 > < 00:55:27 > < 00:55:28 > < 00:55:29 > < 00:55:30 > < 00:55:31 > < 00:55:32 > < 00:55:33 > M: But I always look good. < 00:55:34 > < 00:55:35 > < 00:55:36 > < 00:55:37 > < 00:55:38 > < 00:55:39 > < 00:55:40 > < 00:55:41 > < 00:55:42 > < 00:55:43 > < 00:55:44 > < 00:55:45 > < 00:55:46 > < 00:55:47 > T: Whoo. Look at her emote. < 00:55:48 > M: So you come here often? < 00:55:49 > < 00:55:50 > < 00:55:51 > < 00:55:52 > < 00:55:53 > < 00:55:54 > < 00:55:55 > < 00:55:56 > T: Miss Dumpy McDumpButt? < 00:55:57 > < 00:55:58 > < 00:55:59 > < 00:55:60 > < 00:56:00 > < 00:56:01 > < 00:56:02 > < 00:56:03 > < 00:56:04 > < 00:56:05 > T: It's the war's fault I dumped you without discussing how you felt and started banging other men. < 00:56:06 > < 00:56:07 > < 00:56:08 > < 00:56:09 > < 00:56:10 > < 00:56:11 > < 00:56:12 > < 00:56:13 > < 00:56:14 > M: She means SEX. < 00:56:15 > < 00:56:16 > < 00:56:17 > T: I mean at SEX. < 00:56:18 > < 00:56:19 > < 00:56:20 > < 00:56:21 > < 00:56:22 > < 00:56:23 > < 00:56:24 > < 00:56:25 > < 00:56:26 > < 00:56:27 > < 00:56:28 > < 00:56:29 > < 00:56:30 > < 00:56:31 > < 00:56:32 > < 00:56:33 > < 00:56:34 > M: Lick my navs, jarhead! < 00:56:35 > < 00:56:36 > < 00:56:37 > < 00:56:38 > < 00:56:39 > < 00:56:40 > < 00:56:41 > T: Now they engage in the geekiest battle of wuss slapping ever recorded. < 00:56:42 > < 00:56:43 > < 00:56:44 > < 00:56:45 > < 00:56:46 > < 00:56:47 > < 00:56:48 > M: But we do train 3 times longer than starship pilots. < 00:56:49 > < 00:56:50 > < 00:56:51 > < 00:56:52 > < 00:56:53 > < 00:56:54 > < 00:56:55 > < 00:56:56 > < 00:56:57 > < 00:56:58 > M: Kinda answered my question, huh. < 00:56:59 > < 00:56:60 > < 00:57:00 > < 00:57:01 > < 00:57:02 > < 00:57:03 > T: Suplex! Bah gawd, king! Bah gawd! He is broken in half! < 00:57:04 > < 00:57:05 > < 00:57:06 > < 00:57:07 > < 00:57:08 > < 00:57:09 > < 00:57:10 > < 00:57:11 > < 00:57:12 > < 00:57:13 > < 00:57:14 > < 00:57:15 > < 00:57:16 > < 00:57:17 > < 00:57:18 > M: Ah you know marines, they'll be laughing and shaving each other's legs in the morning. < 00:57:19 > < 00:57:20 > < 00:57:21 > < 00:57:22 > < 00:57:23 > < 00:57:24 > < 00:57:25 > < 00:57:26 > < 00:57:27 > < 00:57:28 > < 00:57:29 > < 00:57:30 > < 00:57:31 > M: Stop it! Stop it! There's every reason to fight over me! < 00:57:32 > < 00:57:33 > < 00:57:34 > T: I coulda taken him. < 00:57:35 > M: In what universe could an air force pilot believe he could take a trained marine in hand-to-hand combat? < 00:57:36 > < 00:57:37 > < 00:57:38 > < 00:57:39 > < 00:57:40 > < 00:57:41 > < 00:57:42 > < 00:57:43 > < 00:57:44 > < 00:57:45 > < 00:57:46 > T: Ah! Now we ARE drunk enough to do something we'll always regret. < 00:57:47 > < 00:57:48 > < 00:57:49 > < 00:57:50 > < 00:57:51 > < 00:57:52 > < 00:57:53 > < 00:57:54 > < 00:57:55 > M: We found the dumbest tattoo ever! YAAA HOOOO! < 00:57:56 > < 00:57:57 > < 00:57:58 > < 00:57:59 > < 00:57:60 > < 00:58:00 > < 00:58:01 > < 00:58:02 > < 00:58:03 > T: You know this movie is often mentioned in the same breath as Aliens. As in, "This movie sucks, let's watch Aliens." < 00:58:04 > < 00:58:05 > < 00:58:06 > < 00:58:07 > < 00:58:08 > M: At long last, the American people say NO to Rob Schneider. < 00:58:09 > < 00:58:10 > < 00:58:11 > < 00:58:12 > < 00:58:13 > < 00:58:14 > < 00:58:15 > < 00:58:16 > T: Cubs fans lock and load to take out Steve Bartman! < 00:58:17 > < 00:58:18 > < 00:58:19 > < 00:58:20 > < 00:58:21 > < 00:58:22 > < 00:58:23 > < 00:58:24 > < 00:58:25 > M: How many combat drops is this for you, Lieutenant? < 00:58:26 > T: 38...simulated. < 00:58:27 > < 00:58:28 > < 00:58:29 > < 00:58:30 > < 00:58:31 > < 00:58:32 > < 00:58:33 > T: And we're essentially cannon fodder. < 00:58:34 > < 00:58:35 > < 00:58:36 > < 00:58:37 > < 00:58:38 > M: So the secret plans they wouldn't transmit are run forward and kill everything. < 00:58:39 > < 00:58:40 > < 00:58:41 > < 00:58:42 > T: OH, WHICH way out of the ship? Thanks, dumbass. < 00:58:43 > < 00:58:44 > < 00:58:45 > < 00:58:46 > < 00:58:47 > < 00:58:48 > M: Public transit in the future is rough. < 00:58:49 > < 00:58:50 > < 00:58:51 > < 00:58:52 > < 00:58:53 > < 00:58:54 > < 00:58:55 > < 00:58:56 > < 00:58:57 > T: Krispy Kreme donuts are dropped in giant cargo canisters on the planet below to get the bugs addicted. < 00:58:58 > < 00:58:59 > < 00:58:60 > M: Why don't we just wait for the sanctions to take effect? < 00:59:00 > < 00:59:01 > < 00:59:02 > < 00:59:03 > < 00:59:04 > < 00:59:05 > < 00:59:06 > < 00:59:07 > < 00:59:08 > < 00:59:09 > < 00:59:10 > T: I think seat belts might have been cheaper. < 00:59:11 > < 00:59:12 > < 00:59:13 > M: Up yours! < 00:59:14 > < 00:59:15 > < 00:59:16 > < 00:59:17 > < 00:59:18 > < 00:59:19 > < 00:59:20 > < 00:59:21 > < 00:59:22 > < 00:59:23 > < 00:59:24 > < 00:59:25 > < 00:59:26 > < 00:59:27 > < 00:59:28 > T: I think we're lost! < 00:59:29 > < 00:59:30 > < 00:59:31 > < 00:59:32 > < 00:59:33 > < 00:59:34 > < 00:59:35 > M: Shields up, Mr. Tuvok. < 00:59:36 > < 00:59:37 > < 00:59:38 > < 00:59:39 > < 00:59:40 > < 00:59:41 > < 00:59:42 > < 00:59:43 > < 00:59:44 > < 00:59:45 > < 00:59:46 > < 00:59:47 > < 00:59:48 > T: So fly straight forward, ok. < 00:59:49 > < 00:59:50 > < 00:59:51 > < 00:59:52 > < 00:59:53 > < 00:59:54 > < 00:59:55 > < 00:59:56 > < 00:59:57 > < 00:59:58 > < 00:59:59 > < 00:59:60 > < 01:00:00 > < 01:00:01 > < 01:00:02 > < 01:00:03 > < 01:00:04 > M: Optimistic, isn't he. < 01:00:05 > < 01:00:06 > < 01:00:07 > < 01:00:08 > < 01:00:09 > < 01:00:10 > T: Thanks, I'll be smellin' that all the way down now. < 01:00:11 > < 01:00:12 > < 01:00:13 > < 01:00:14 > < 01:00:15 > < 01:00:16 > < 01:00:17 > < 01:00:18 > < 01:00:19 > < 01:00:20 > < 01:00:21 > < 01:00:22 > M: Ship go boomie! < 01:00:23 > < 01:00:24 > < 01:00:25 > < 01:00:26 > < 01:00:27 > < 01:00:28 > < 01:00:29 > < 01:00:30 > T: Another boom! < 01:00:31 > < 01:00:32 > < 01:00:33 > < 01:00:34 > < 01:00:35 > T: See, if more people had played Missile Command, we might not be in this situation. < 01:00:36 > < 01:00:37 > < 01:00:38 > < 01:00:39 > < 01:00:40 > < 01:00:41 > M: You know, you've got the entirety of space out there, so you cluster your entire war fleet into one concentrated area. < 01:00:42 > T: Yeah, where the flak would rip you to pieces and you'd never be able to take any evasive action whatsoever. < 01:00:43 > < 01:00:44 > < 01:00:45 > < 01:00:46 > < 01:00:47 > < 01:00:48 > < 01:00:49 > < 01:00:50 > T: HIGH ORBIT YOU IDIOT!! < 01:00:51 > < 01:00:52 > M: Oops, pull down to go up! < 01:00:53 > T: This just confirms what I've always said, women can't drive worth a damn! < 01:00:54 > < 01:00:55 > < 01:00:56 > < 01:00:57 > < 01:00:58 > < 01:00:59 > < 01:00:60 > < 01:01:00 > < 01:01:01 > < 01:01:02 > < 01:01:03 > < 01:01:04 > < 01:01:05 > < 01:01:06 > < 01:01:07 > T: And they're dead. YAY! < 01:01:08 > < 01:01:09 > < 01:01:10 > < 01:01:11 > < 01:01:12 > < 01:01:13 > < 01:01:14 > < 01:01:15 > < 01:01:16 > < 01:01:17 > < 01:01:18 > < 01:01:19 > < 01:01:20 > < 01:01:21 > < 01:01:22 > < 01:01:23 > < 01:01:24 > < 01:01:25 > M: Now, fully trained in the use of helmets and knives, our hero charges into action! < 01:01:26 > < 01:01:27 > < 01:01:28 > < 01:01:29 > < 01:01:30 > T: The nerd community reacts to Greedo shooting first. < 01:01:31 > < 01:01:32 > < 01:01:33 > < 01:01:34 > < 01:01:35 > < 01:01:36 > M: In desperation, the National Guard is deployed to prevent Will Smith from making any more movies. < 01:01:37 > < 01:01:38 > < 01:01:39 > < 01:01:40 > < 01:01:41 > < 01:01:42 > < 01:01:43 > < 01:01:44 > < 01:01:45 > < 01:01:46 > < 01:01:47 > < 01:01:48 > < 01:01:49 > < 01:01:50 > M: There are no soldiers in Baghdad! I triple guarantee it! < 01:01:51 > < 01:01:52 > < 01:01:53 > < 01:01:54 > < 01:01:55 > < 01:01:56 > < 01:01:57 > < 01:01:58 > < 01:01:59 > < 01:01:60 > < 01:02:00 > < 01:02:01 > < 01:02:02 > < 01:02:03 > < 01:02:04 > < 01:02:05 > < 01:02:06 > < 01:02:07 > < 01:02:08 > T: CHAAARGGE!! Uh, stop hang on a sec. < 01:02:09 > < 01:02:10 > < 01:02:11 > < 01:02:12 > < 01:02:13 > < 01:02:14 > < 01:02:15 > < 01:02:16 > T: Guess you'd call that a Weapon of Ass Destruction. < 01:02:17 > < 01:02:18 > < 01:02:19 > < 01:02:20 > < 01:02:21 > < 01:02:22 > < 01:02:23 > < 01:02:24 > < 01:02:25 > < 01:02:26 > < 01:02:27 > < 01:02:28 > < 01:02:29 > < 01:02:30 > < 01:02:31 > < 01:02:32 > < 01:02:33 > < 01:02:34 > < 01:02:35 > < 01:02:36 > < 01:02:37 > < 01:02:38 > < 01:02:39 > < 01:02:40 > M: Did ya really need two of those? < 01:02:41 > < 01:02:42 > < 01:02:43 > < 01:02:44 > < 01:02:45 > < 01:02:46 > < 01:02:47 > < 01:02:48 > < 01:02:49 > < 01:02:50 > < 01:02:51 > T: Maybe this is Dune and a giant sandworm will eat them. < 01:02:52 > < 01:02:53 > < 01:02:54 > < 01:02:55 > < 01:02:56 > < 01:02:57 > < 01:02:58 > < 01:02:59 > < 01:02:60 > < 01:03:00 > < 01:03:01 > < 01:03:02 > T: Ah crap! < 01:03:03 > M: Panic! Fire in badly-aimed bursts at noncritical locations! < 01:03:04 > < 01:03:05 > < 01:03:06 > < 01:03:07 > < 01:03:08 > T: Well the armor paid off. < 01:03:09 > < 01:03:10 > < 01:03:11 > < 01:03:12 > < 01:03:13 > < 01:03:14 > < 01:03:15 > M: So it takes a dozen troopers with concentrated rifle fire to bring down a single bug. < 01:03:16 > < 01:03:17 > < 01:03:18 > < 01:03:19 > < 01:03:20 > < 01:03:21 > < 01:03:22 > < 01:03:23 > < 01:03:24 > < 01:03:25 > < 01:03:26 > < 01:03:27 > < 01:03:28 > M: We never planned on them defending themselves! < 01:03:29 > < 01:03:30 > < 01:03:31 > < 01:03:32 > < 01:03:33 > < 01:03:34 > T: This sergeant has encountered a fatal error and must be rebooted. < 01:03:35 > < 01:03:36 > < 01:03:37 > < 01:03:38 > < 01:03:39 > < 01:03:40 > M: So I guess THIS IS A BUG HUNT MAN! < 01:03:41 > < 01:03:42 > < 01:03:43 > < 01:03:44 > < 01:03:45 > < 01:03:46 > < 01:03:47 > < 01:03:48 > < 01:03:49 > < 01:03:50 > < 01:03:51 > < 01:03:52 > < 01:03:53 > T: He's the well-trained marine who breaks from his unit away from cover and starts shooting erratically. < 01:03:54 > < 01:03:55 > < 01:03:56 > < 01:03:57 > < 01:03:58 > < 01:03:59 > < 01:03:60 > < 01:04:00 > < 01:04:01 > < 01:04:02 > < 01:04:03 > < 01:04:04 > < 01:04:05 > < 01:04:06 > < 01:04:07 > < 01:04:08 > < 01:04:09 > < 01:04:10 > < 01:04:11 > < 01:04:12 > M: Makes we wish I could come up with leg puns. < 01:04:13 > < 01:04:14 > < 01:04:15 > < 01:04:16 > < 01:04:17 > < 01:04:18 > T: Bug pile! Bug pile! < 01:04:19 > < 01:04:20 > < 01:04:21 > < 01:04:22 > M: After seeing one casualty, the hardened marines flee in terror. < 01:04:23 > < 01:04:24 > < 01:04:25 > < 01:04:26 > T: Run away! We've taken too many losses! < 01:04:27 > < 01:04:28 > < 01:04:29 > < 01:04:30 > < 01:04:31 > M: These marines would flee if the Sharks from West Side Story attacked. < 01:04:32 > < 01:04:33 > < 01:04:34 > < 01:04:35 > < 01:04:36 > < 01:04:37 > < 01:04:38 > < 01:04:39 > < 01:04:40 > < 01:04:41 > < 01:04:42 > < 01:04:43 > < 01:04:44 > < 01:04:45 > < 01:04:46 > < 01:04:47 > < 01:04:48 > M: So did the marines forget they have those nukes? < 01:04:49 > < 01:04:50 > T: I'm no ecologist, but what exactly do these bugs eat on this planet? < 01:04:51 > < 01:04:52 > < 01:04:53 > < 01:04:54 > < 01:04:55 > < 01:04:56 > < 01:04:57 > < 01:04:58 > < 01:04:59 > M: Boat? < 01:04:60 > < 01:05:00 > < 01:05:01 > < 01:05:02 > < 01:05:03 > < 01:05:04 > < 01:05:05 > < 01:05:06 > T: Run! Fire blindly behind you! Stay radically out of formation! < 01:05:07 > < 01:05:08 > M: Leave all men behind! Every man for himself! < 01:05:09 > < 01:05:10 > < 01:05:11 > < 01:05:12 > T: NOOOO the movie's starting over! < 01:05:13 > < 01:05:14 > < 01:05:15 > < 01:05:16 > < 01:05:17 > M: I used to wish that'd happen to Carson Daly. < 01:05:18 > < 01:05:19 > < 01:05:20 > < 01:05:21 > < 01:05:22 > < 01:05:23 > M: I'll take this time to announce some birthdays! Agnes Wilson is 102 years old! < 01:05:24 > < 01:05:25 > < 01:05:26 > < 01:05:27 > < 01:05:28 > < 01:05:29 > < 01:05:30 > < 01:05:31 > < 01:05:32 > < 01:05:33 > < 01:05:34 > < 01:05:35 > < 01:05:36 > < 01:05:37 > < 01:05:38 > < 01:05:39 > M: I ask again why we spent a week learning how to throw knives! < 01:05:40 > < 01:05:41 > < 01:05:42 > < 01:05:43 > < 01:05:44 > < 01:05:45 > < 01:05:46 > < 01:05:47 > < 01:05:48 > < 01:05:49 > < 01:05:50 > < 01:05:51 > < 01:05:52 > T: Crikey! When surrounding an arachnid, ya gotta have high-caliber machine guns and about a dozen mates in armor with ya! Woooo! < 01:05:53 > < 01:05:54 > < 01:05:55 > < 01:05:56 > < 01:05:57 > < 01:05:58 > < 01:05:59 > < 01:05:60 > < 01:06:00 > < 01:06:01 > < 01:06:02 > < 01:06:03 > < 01:06:04 > < 01:06:05 > < 01:06:06 > M: The man is up! And the point is good! < 01:06:07 > < 01:06:08 > < 01:06:09 > < 01:06:10 > T: Typically one has to survive to bring the footage back, dumbass. < 01:06:11 > < 01:06:12 > < 01:06:13 > < 01:06:14 > < 01:06:15 > < 01:06:16 > < 01:06:17 > < 01:06:18 > M: Ohhhh picture this going on for an hour and you've got Matrix: Revolutions. < 01:06:19 > T: I hear that. < 01:06:20 > < 01:06:21 > < 01:06:22 > < 01:06:23 > < 01:06:24 > < 01:06:25 > < 01:06:26 > < 01:06:27 > T: Ok. Intelligence report: Our guns sssssssssssuck! < 01:06:28 > < 01:06:29 > < 01:06:30 > < 01:06:31 > < 01:06:32 > < 01:06:33 > < 01:06:34 > < 01:06:35 > < 01:06:36 > < 01:06:37 > < 01:06:38 > < 01:06:39 > < 01:06:40 > < 01:06:41 > < 01:06:42 > < 01:06:43 > M: A shotgun?? Where did THAT come from? < 01:06:44 > < 01:06:45 > < 01:06:46 > < 01:06:47 > < 01:06:48 > < 01:06:49 > T: It DOES seem to work better. < 01:06:50 > < 01:06:51 > < 01:06:52 > < 01:06:53 > < 01:06:54 > < 01:06:55 > M: One year ago. < 01:06:56 > < 01:06:57 > < 01:06:58 > < 01:06:59 > M: Callista Flockhart collapsed on the red carpet today... < 01:06:60 > < 01:07:00 > < 01:07:01 > < 01:07:02 > T: McDonalds is forced to recall the McGriddle sandwich. < 01:07:03 > < 01:07:04 > < 01:07:05 > < 01:07:06 > < 01:07:07 > < 01:07:08 > M: Burials? Nah. < 01:07:09 > T: Yeah this is something you'd tune in for over dinner. < 01:07:10 > < 01:07:11 > < 01:07:12 > < 01:07:13 > < 01:07:14 > T: Clearly, military intelligence is improving. < 01:07:15 > M: Klendathu is named a part of the Axis of Evil. < 01:07:16 > < 01:07:17 > < 01:07:18 > < 01:07:19 > < 01:07:20 > < 01:07:21 > < 01:07:22 > < 01:07:23 > < 01:07:24 > < 01:07:25 > < 01:07:26 > < 01:07:27 > < 01:07:28 > < 01:07:29 > < 01:07:30 > < 01:07:31 > M: That's deep. < 01:07:32 > T: Conducting research on your enemy? BRILLIANT! < 01:07:33 > < 01:07:34 > < 01:07:35 > < 01:07:36 > M: Robert McNamara says the war is going well! < 01:07:37 > < 01:07:38 > < 01:07:39 > T: These people are bugs that think! < 01:07:40 > M: Pee Wee Herman and Barbara Bush. < 01:07:41 > < 01:07:42 > < 01:07:43 > < 01:07:44 > < 01:07:45 > < 01:07:46 > < 01:07:47 > T: Bill Murray! < 01:07:48 > < 01:07:49 > < 01:07:50 > < 01:07:51 > < 01:07:52 > < 01:07:53 > < 01:07:54 > < 01:07:55 > < 01:07:56 > < 01:07:57 > < 01:07:58 > < 01:07:59 > < 01:07:60 > < 01:08:00 > < 01:08:01 > < 01:08:02 > < 01:08:03 > < 01:08:04 > < 01:08:05 > T: Tonight on Crossfire! < 01:08:06 > M: I find the notion of that guy thinking offensive. < 01:08:07 > T: Nude pictures of that man are available on the Internet. Would you like to know more? < 01:08:08 > < 01:08:09 > < 01:08:10 > < 01:08:11 > M: Don't tell me the entire fleet got wiped out but Space Bimbo lived after a direct hit to the bridge. < 01:08:12 > < 01:08:13 > < 01:08:14 > < 01:08:15 > < 01:08:16 > < 01:08:17 > T: I'm really missing Babylon 5 right now. < 01:08:18 > < 01:08:19 > < 01:08:20 > < 01:08:21 > < 01:08:22 > < 01:08:23 > < 01:08:24 > < 01:08:25 > M: She gets hit in the face by a major explosion and the result is a minor owwie. < 01:08:26 > < 01:08:27 > < 01:08:28 > < 01:08:29 > < 01:08:30 > < 01:08:31 > < 01:08:32 > < 01:08:33 > < 01:08:34 > < 01:08:35 > < 01:08:36 > < 01:08:37 > < 01:08:38 > < 01:08:39 > T: HAHAHAH! Such emotion. < 01:08:40 > M: Well she's not smarter than the bugs. < 01:08:41 > < 01:08:42 > < 01:08:43 > < 01:08:44 > < 01:08:45 > T: Sadly, in most cases, we really are not smarter than the bugs, who have no individual minds of their own. < 01:08:46 > < 01:08:47 > < 01:08:48 > < 01:08:49 > < 01:08:50 > < 01:08:51 > < 01:08:52 > < 01:08:53 > M: Now this here ship's a fixer-upper. < 01:08:54 > T: Women drivers, Sorbo. Women drivers. < 01:08:55 > < 01:08:56 > < 01:08:57 > < 01:08:58 > < 01:08:59 > < 01:08:60 > < 01:09:00 > < 01:09:01 > < 01:09:02 > T: The grim aftermath of the Catwoman premiere. < 01:09:03 > < 01:09:04 > < 01:09:05 > M: Anyone seen a left leg? Left leg! < 01:09:06 > < 01:09:07 > < 01:09:08 > < 01:09:09 > < 01:09:10 > < 01:09:11 > < 01:09:12 > < 01:09:13 > < 01:09:14 > < 01:09:15 > < 01:09:16 > < 01:09:17 > < 01:09:18 > < 01:09:19 > < 01:09:20 > < 01:09:21 > < 01:09:22 > < 01:09:23 > M: HAH! Best line of the movie. < 01:09:24 > T: Bugs don't take prisoners. < 01:09:25 > M: Said with all the emotion of a Keanu Reeves "Whoa." < 01:09:26 > < 01:09:27 > < 01:09:28 > < 01:09:29 > < 01:09:30 > < 01:09:31 > < 01:09:32 > M: 48% on the math final in GIANT letters. < 01:09:33 > < 01:09:34 > < 01:09:35 > < 01:09:36 > T: Hey down in front! < 01:09:37 > M: Yep, really really sad. Wanna have sex? < 01:09:38 > < 01:09:39 > < 01:09:40 > T: Bugs don't take prisoners. < 01:09:41 > < 01:09:42 > < 01:09:43 > < 01:09:44 > < 01:09:45 > < 01:09:46 > T: I guess Klingons don't take prisoners either. < 01:09:47 > M: No they don't. < 01:09:48 > < 01:09:49 > < 01:09:50 > < 01:09:51 > < 01:09:52 > T: Oh our blond haired, blue eyed hero is recuperating in a tank of green fluid after a devastating injury on the battlefield. I really hate to keep harping on this, but I've SEEN THIS BEFORE! < 01:09:53 > M: Laugh it up fuzzball! < 01:09:54 > < 01:09:55 > < 01:09:56 > < 01:09:57 > T: Please be wearing shorts!! < 01:09:58 > < 01:09:59 > < 01:09:60 > < 01:10:00 > < 01:10:01 > < 01:10:02 > < 01:10:03 > < 01:10:04 > < 01:10:05 > M: Clear the set for the dancing Intel guy commercial! < 01:10:06 > < 01:10:07 > < 01:10:08 > < 01:10:09 > < 01:10:10 > < 01:10:11 > T: Dude dude throw stuff in the tank! < 01:10:12 > < 01:10:13 > < 01:10:14 > < 01:10:15 > < 01:10:16 > < 01:10:17 > < 01:10:18 > < 01:10:19 > < 01:10:20 > M: Brain dead! < 01:10:21 > < 01:10:22 > < 01:10:23 > T: Hey Ace do pressed ham under glass! < 01:10:24 > < 01:10:25 > < 01:10:26 > < 01:10:27 > < 01:10:28 > T: Up yours! < 01:10:29 > < 01:10:30 > < 01:10:31 > < 01:10:32 > < 01:10:33 > < 01:10:34 > < 01:10:35 > M: Oh I hope Busey doesn't kiss the screen. < 01:10:36 > < 01:10:37 > T: Did the bacta just get warmer? < 01:10:38 > < 01:10:39 > < 01:10:40 > < 01:10:41 > < 01:10:42 > < 01:10:43 > < 01:10:44 > < 01:10:45 > < 01:10:46 > < 01:10:47 > < 01:10:48 > T: We got a great big convoy, truckin through the night. Would you like to know more? < 01:10:49 > < 01:10:50 > < 01:10:51 > < 01:10:52 > < 01:10:53 > < 01:10:54 > < 01:10:55 > < 01:10:56 > M: They're gonna wipe out the Jawas! < 01:10:57 > T: ootanee! < 01:10:58 > < 01:10:59 > < 01:10:60 > < 01:11:00 > < 01:11:01 > < 01:11:02 > T: Tonight on "I'm With Busey." < 01:11:03 > < 01:11:04 > < 01:11:05 > < 01:11:06 > M: Gotta have some to worry about that. < 01:11:07 > < 01:11:08 > < 01:11:09 > < 01:11:10 > < 01:11:11 > < 01:11:12 > < 01:11:13 > < 01:11:14 > T: Kind of a passive/aggressive response to a simple question, dry clicking your rifle at a guy. < 01:11:15 > < 01:11:16 > < 01:11:17 > < 01:11:18 > < 01:11:19 > < 01:11:20 > < 01:11:21 > < 01:11:22 > < 01:11:23 > M: Here's a newspaper clipping. < 01:11:24 > T: Have this coupon for a free Egg McMuffin. < 01:11:25 > < 01:11:26 > < 01:11:27 > < 01:11:28 > < 01:11:29 > < 01:11:30 > < 01:11:31 > < 01:11:32 > < 01:11:33 > < 01:11:34 > < 01:11:35 > < 01:11:36 > M: It's relocated. < 01:11:37 > < 01:11:38 > < 01:11:39 > < 01:11:40 > < 01:11:41 > T: I suddenly declare this movie great! Keep doing that! < 01:11:42 > < 01:11:43 > < 01:11:44 > < 01:11:45 > < 01:11:46 > < 01:11:47 > < 01:11:48 > < 01:11:49 > < 01:11:50 > M: Mine too! Mine too! Mine too! < 01:11:51 > T: Tonight on Shasta McNasty. < 01:11:52 > < 01:11:53 > M: Didn't save me! < 01:11:54 > < 01:11:55 > < 01:11:56 > < 01:11:57 > < 01:11:58 > < 01:11:59 > < 01:11:60 > < 01:12:00 > < 01:12:01 > < 01:12:02 > < 01:12:03 > < 01:12:04 > T: *sing Red Right Hand* In comes a bald man with a chrome left haaaand. < 01:12:05 > < 01:12:06 > < 01:12:07 > < 01:12:08 > < 01:12:09 > M: We're gonna drop nukes on Zeist and wipe out them Immortals for good! < 01:12:10 > T: It's the only way to be sure. < 01:12:11 > < 01:12:12 > < 01:12:13 > < 01:12:14 > < 01:12:15 > < 01:12:16 > < 01:12:17 > < 01:12:18 > < 01:12:19 > < 01:12:20 > M: Don't ask, don't tell. < 01:12:21 > < 01:12:22 > < 01:12:23 > < 01:12:24 > < 01:12:25 > T: If you DO your job I'll shoot you too. I'm weird like that. < 01:12:26 > < 01:12:27 > < 01:12:28 > < 01:12:29 > < 01:12:30 > < 01:12:31 > < 01:12:32 > < 01:12:33 > < 01:12:34 > M: Isn't this a volunteer army, sir? < 01:12:35 > < 01:12:36 > < 01:12:37 > < 01:12:38 > < 01:12:39 > < 01:12:40 > T: Got a new deal on my car insurance. < 01:12:41 > < 01:12:42 > < 01:12:43 > < 01:12:44 > < 01:12:45 > < 01:12:46 > < 01:12:47 > M: Sounds like a urinary infection. < 01:12:48 > T: Sounds like a fruity tropical drink. < 01:12:49 > < 01:12:50 > < 01:12:51 > < 01:12:52 > < 01:12:53 > < 01:12:54 > < 01:12:55 > M: Bug stampede! < 01:12:56 > T: Rollin' rollin' rollin'... < 01:12:57 > < 01:12:58 > < 01:12:59 > < 01:12:60 > < 01:13:00 > < 01:13:01 > M: Ah, they're out hunting their natural prey, the uh....you know...the...bunnies. < 01:13:02 > < 01:13:03 > < 01:13:04 > < 01:13:05 > < 01:13:06 > < 01:13:07 > T: Get anti-aircraft up quick! < 01:13:08 > M: Call the butt-launcher bugs! < 01:13:09 > < 01:13:10 > < 01:13:11 > < 01:13:12 > < 01:13:13 > < 01:13:14 > < 01:13:15 > < 01:13:16 > < 01:13:17 > < 01:13:18 > < 01:13:19 > < 01:13:20 > < 01:13:21 > < 01:13:22 > T: Toasty!! < 01:13:23 > M: The secondary strike is a bombardment with Black Flag and giant strips of fly paper. < 01:13:24 > < 01:13:25 > < 01:13:26 > < 01:13:27 > < 01:13:28 > < 01:13:29 > < 01:13:30 > < 01:13:31 > < 01:13:32 > < 01:13:33 > M: I love the smell of bug in the morning. < 01:13:34 > T: Smells like chicken. < 01:13:35 > < 01:13:36 > < 01:13:37 > < 01:13:38 > < 01:13:39 > M: Ok men, deploy the giant tissues and smoosh 'em. < 01:13:40 > < 01:13:41 > < 01:13:42 > < 01:13:43 > < 01:13:44 > < 01:13:45 > < 01:13:46 > < 01:13:47 > < 01:13:48 > < 01:13:49 > < 01:13:50 > T: Look for those weapons of mass destruction, too, they gotta be somewhere. < 01:13:51 > < 01:13:52 > < 01:13:53 > < 01:13:54 > < 01:13:55 > < 01:13:56 > < 01:13:57 > M: Stargate SG-1's gotten WEIRD. < 01:13:58 > < 01:13:59 > < 01:13:60 > < 01:14:00 > < 01:14:01 > < 01:14:02 > < 01:14:03 > < 01:14:04 > < 01:14:05 > < 01:14:06 > < 01:14:07 > < 01:14:08 > < 01:14:09 > M: The Iron Chef has prepared his pan-blackened Jamaican Bug Platter. < 01:14:10 > T: mmmm spicy. < 01:14:11 > < 01:14:12 > T: What exactly are we securing here? < 01:14:13 > M: The lush fertile grounds of Tango Urethra. < 01:14:14 > T: Well there's just no strategic value or natural resources to be taken here, it's not like ground troops could kill every last bug in every hole on this planet. You'd need millions of troopers and years of scouring. < 01:14:15 > < 01:14:16 > < 01:14:17 > < 01:14:18 > < 01:14:19 > < 01:14:20 > < 01:14:21 > < 01:14:22 > < 01:14:23 > < 01:14:24 > < 01:14:25 > < 01:14:26 > < 01:14:27 > < 01:14:28 > < 01:14:29 > < 01:14:30 > < 01:14:31 > M: You know, the great thing about guns is that you can hit things from very far away and not get in the range of their deadly torso slicing pincers. < 01:14:32 > < 01:14:33 > < 01:14:34 > < 01:14:35 > < 01:14:36 > < 01:14:37 > < 01:14:38 > < 01:14:39 > < 01:14:40 > < 01:14:41 > < 01:14:42 > < 01:14:43 > < 01:14:44 > < 01:14:45 > < 01:14:46 > < 01:14:47 > < 01:14:48 > < 01:14:49 > < 01:14:50 > < 01:14:51 > M: mmm this bug is a refreshing lime flavor! < 01:14:52 > T: They're filled with Nickelodeon goo. < 01:14:53 > < 01:14:54 > < 01:14:55 > M: Just like Vulcans, the green-blooded bastards! < 01:14:56 > < 01:14:57 > < 01:14:58 > < 01:14:59 > < 01:14:60 > < 01:15:00 > < 01:15:01 > T: *cough* *spit* < 01:15:02 > M: Can I wipe on your jacket? < 01:15:03 > < 01:15:04 > T: The HELL did you call me? < 01:15:05 > M: Up yours, dickweed! < 01:15:06 > < 01:15:07 > < 01:15:08 > < 01:15:09 > < 01:15:10 > T: He's gonna need a BIG wet-nap. < 01:15:11 > < 01:15:12 > M: Oh now it's all dry. < 01:15:13 > < 01:15:14 > < 01:15:15 > < 01:15:16 > < 01:15:17 > < 01:15:18 > < 01:15:19 > < 01:15:20 > T: Aren't we a little close for NUKES? < 01:15:21 > < 01:15:22 > M: Duke Nukem? Nobody takes our chicks... < 01:15:23 > T: I'll run while you do that! < 01:15:24 > < 01:15:25 > < 01:15:26 > < 01:15:27 > < 01:15:28 > < 01:15:29 > < 01:15:30 > M: Wow it really is a FIRE in the HOLE! < 01:15:31 > < 01:15:32 > < 01:15:33 > < 01:15:34 > < 01:15:35 > < 01:15:36 > < 01:15:37 > T: Wow I hope nobody out of earshot was on top of that. < 01:15:38 > < 01:15:39 > < 01:15:40 > < 01:15:41 > < 01:15:42 > < 01:15:43 > < 01:15:44 > < 01:15:45 > M: Some idiot just hit us with a tactical nuke! Get back here! < 01:15:46 > < 01:15:47 > < 01:15:48 > < 01:15:49 > < 01:15:50 > < 01:15:51 > < 01:15:52 > < 01:15:53 > < 01:15:54 > T: Tonight on 10.5. < 01:15:55 > < 01:15:56 > < 01:15:57 > < 01:15:58 > < 01:15:59 > < 01:15:60 > < 01:16:00 > < 01:16:01 > < 01:16:02 > < 01:16:03 > < 01:16:04 > < 01:16:05 > < 01:16:06 > M: Oh they're very tidy in their bug piling and cleanup, doncha know. < 01:16:07 > T: Oh yah hey. < 01:16:08 > < 01:16:09 > < 01:16:10 > T: Shouldn't we be hitting each other in a circle like this? < 01:16:11 > < 01:16:12 > < 01:16:13 > < 01:16:14 > < 01:16:15 > < 01:16:16 > M: It's good they're collecting them so they can go fishing for GIANT SEA BASS. < 01:16:17 > T: huh? < 01:16:18 > < 01:16:19 > < 01:16:20 > < 01:16:21 > M: Whoaaa that's an Alabama sized tick right there. < 01:16:22 > < 01:16:23 > < 01:16:24 > < 01:16:25 > T: That's a lotta CG! < 01:16:26 > < 01:16:27 > < 01:16:28 > < 01:16:29 > < 01:16:30 > < 01:16:31 > M: Oh no! Godzilla! < 01:16:32 > < 01:16:33 > < 01:16:34 > < 01:16:35 > < 01:16:36 > < 01:16:37 > T: We have no plan for this! < 01:16:38 > < 01:16:39 > < 01:16:40 > < 01:16:41 > T: I guess you can call this movie A Farewell to Arms. Finally a dismemberment pun I can make! < 01:16:42 > < 01:16:43 > M: Oh Manos, take her hand! < 01:16:44 > < 01:16:45 > < 01:16:46 > < 01:16:47 > < 01:16:48 > < 01:16:49 > < 01:16:50 > < 01:16:51 > < 01:16:52 > < 01:16:53 > < 01:16:54 > < 01:16:55 > < 01:16:56 > < 01:16:57 > < 01:16:58 > < 01:16:59 > < 01:16:60 > < 01:17:00 > < 01:17:01 > < 01:17:02 > < 01:17:03 > < 01:17:04 > M: Bug rodeo! Yeeeee haw! < 01:17:05 > < 01:17:06 > T: That's a switcheroo, a tick with a human on its back. < 01:17:07 > < 01:17:08 > < 01:17:09 > < 01:17:10 > M: It's filled with V8. < 01:17:11 > < 01:17:12 > < 01:17:13 > < 01:17:14 > < 01:17:15 > < 01:17:16 > < 01:17:17 > < 01:17:18 > < 01:17:19 > < 01:17:20 > < 01:17:21 > < 01:17:22 > < 01:17:23 > < 01:17:24 > < 01:17:25 > < 01:17:26 > < 01:17:27 > < 01:17:28 > < 01:17:29 > < 01:17:30 > T: Throw the thermal detonator inside, Luke! < 01:17:31 > M: Again with the Star Wars, you see a lot of parallels in everything, don't you? < 01:17:32 > < 01:17:33 > < 01:17:34 > < 01:17:35 > < 01:17:36 > < 01:17:37 > < 01:17:38 > < 01:17:39 > < 01:17:40 > < 01:17:41 > < 01:17:42 > < 01:17:43 > < 01:17:44 > < 01:17:45 > T: I feel like that after Mexican food. < 01:17:46 > < 01:17:47 > < 01:17:48 > < 01:17:49 > < 01:17:50 > < 01:17:51 > < 01:17:52 > < 01:17:53 > M: It spilled carrot juice all over 'em. < 01:17:54 > < 01:17:55 > < 01:17:56 > < 01:17:57 > < 01:17:58 > < 01:17:59 > < 01:17:60 > < 01:18:00 > M: You ARE Tarzan! < 01:18:01 > < 01:18:02 > < 01:18:03 > < 01:18:04 > T: Between helmet repair and knife throwing, we had bug jumping class. < 01:18:05 > < 01:18:06 > < 01:18:07 > < 01:18:08 > < 01:18:09 > < 01:18:10 > < 01:18:11 > < 01:18:12 > < 01:18:13 > T: Shut up. < 01:18:14 > < 01:18:15 > < 01:18:16 > < 01:18:17 > < 01:18:18 > < 01:18:19 > < 01:18:20 > < 01:18:21 > < 01:18:22 > T: ...I think. < 01:18:23 > < 01:18:24 > < 01:18:25 > < 01:18:26 > < 01:18:27 > < 01:18:28 > M: I need more goo on me for that. < 01:18:29 > < 01:18:30 > < 01:18:31 > < 01:18:32 > < 01:18:33 > < 01:18:34 > < 01:18:35 > < 01:18:36 > < 01:18:37 > < 01:18:38 > < 01:18:39 > < 01:18:40 > < 01:18:41 > < 01:18:42 > T: AWWW that really hurt for some reason. < 01:18:43 > < 01:18:44 > < 01:18:45 > M: After being thoroughly hosed off, the men relax. < 01:18:46 > T: Yeah why did they cut out the second shower sequence? That's all that was worth watching in this movie. < 01:18:47 > < 01:18:48 > < 01:18:49 > < 01:18:50 > < 01:18:51 > < 01:18:52 > < 01:18:53 > < 01:18:54 > < 01:18:55 > < 01:18:56 > < 01:18:57 > < 01:18:58 > < 01:18:59 > < 01:18:60 > < 01:19:00 > < 01:19:01 > < 01:19:02 > < 01:19:03 > < 01:19:04 > M: Here's the inflatable women! < 01:19:05 > < 01:19:06 > < 01:19:07 > < 01:19:08 > < 01:19:09 > < 01:19:10 > < 01:19:11 > T: *smack* AUUUGH! < 01:19:12 > < 01:19:13 > < 01:19:14 > < 01:19:15 > < 01:19:16 > < 01:19:17 > < 01:19:18 > < 01:19:19 > M: Wow a violin that doesn't really work! < 01:19:20 > < 01:19:21 > < 01:19:22 > < 01:19:23 > < 01:19:24 > < 01:19:25 > < 01:19:26 > < 01:19:27 > M: Hah! Yes, I done are kill the bugs most gooder. < 01:19:28 > < 01:19:29 > < 01:19:30 > < 01:19:31 > < 01:19:32 > < 01:19:33 > < 01:19:34 > < 01:19:35 > T: He had a disarming personality. < 01:19:36 > M: AAAAH damn you! < 01:19:37 > < 01:19:38 > < 01:19:39 > < 01:19:40 > M: That "Come hither" wink. < 01:19:41 > < 01:19:42 > < 01:19:43 > < 01:19:44 > < 01:19:45 > < 01:19:46 > < 01:19:47 > < 01:19:48 > < 01:19:49 > < 01:19:50 > < 01:19:51 > < 01:19:52 > < 01:19:53 > < 01:19:54 > < 01:19:55 > < 01:19:56 > M: Smooth Rico, smooth. < 01:19:57 > T: Is Rico completely retarded? She might as well be firing signal flares in the air to communicate. < 01:19:58 > < 01:19:59 > < 01:19:60 > < 01:20:00 > < 01:20:01 > < 01:20:02 > < 01:20:03 > < 01:20:04 > < 01:20:05 > < 01:20:06 > < 01:20:07 > < 01:20:08 > < 01:20:09 > *AAAH!* < 01:20:10 > T: The hell you doin'? < 01:20:11 > < 01:20:12 > < 01:20:13 > < 01:20:14 > < 01:20:15 > < 01:20:16 > < 01:20:17 > < 01:20:18 > < 01:20:19 > < 01:20:20 > < 01:20:21 > M: I learned that the hard way *sniff* < 01:20:22 > < 01:20:23 > < 01:20:24 > < 01:20:25 > < 01:20:26 > < 01:20:27 > < 01:20:28 > < 01:20:29 > < 01:20:30 > < 01:20:31 > < 01:20:32 > < 01:20:33 > < 01:20:34 > T: One side, baldy! < 01:20:35 > < 01:20:36 > < 01:20:37 > < 01:20:38 > < 01:20:39 > < 01:20:40 > < 01:20:41 > < 01:20:42 > < 01:20:43 > M: I just want you to know, I settled for you. < 01:20:44 > T: That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard. < 01:20:45 > M: That's beautiful, man. < 01:20:46 > < 01:20:47 > < 01:20:48 > < 01:20:49 > < 01:20:50 > < 01:20:51 > < 01:20:52 > < 01:20:53 > < 01:20:54 > < 01:20:55 > < 01:20:56 > < 01:20:57 > T: I'm calling my girlfriend Carmen and try to work things out! < 01:20:58 > < 01:20:59 > < 01:20:60 > < 01:21:00 > M: He's completely forgotten the English language! < 01:21:01 > < 01:21:02 > < 01:21:03 > < 01:21:04 > < 01:21:05 > < 01:21:06 > T: Whoa he moves fast! < 01:21:07 > < 01:21:08 > < 01:21:09 > < 01:21:10 > < 01:21:11 > < 01:21:12 > < 01:21:13 > < 01:21:14 > < 01:21:15 > < 01:21:16 > < 01:21:17 > < 01:21:18 > M: Uhhh, I'm done. < 01:21:19 > < 01:21:20 > < 01:21:21 > < 01:21:22 > < 01:21:23 > < 01:21:24 > T: WOW! Twice in one movie! < 01:21:25 > M: Would you like to know more?? < 01:21:26 > T: This is supposed to be punishment? < 01:21:27 > < 01:21:28 > < 01:21:29 > < 01:21:30 > < 01:21:31 > < 01:21:32 > < 01:21:33 > < 01:21:34 > < 01:21:35 > < 01:21:36 > < 01:21:37 > < 01:21:38 > < 01:21:39 > < 01:21:40 > < 01:21:41 > < 01:21:42 > < 01:21:43 >M: Meanwhile Busey's sitting in the tent flap charging $20 for a peek. < 01:21:44 > < 01:21:45 > < 01:21:46 > < 01:21:47 > < 01:21:48 > < 01:21:49 > M: TROJAN MAN!!! < 01:21:50 > < 01:21:51 > < 01:21:52 > < 01:21:53 > < 01:21:54 > < 01:21:55 > < 01:21:56 > < 01:21:57 > < 01:21:58 > < 01:21:59 > < 01:21:60 > < 01:22:00 > < 01:22:01 > < 01:22:02 > < 01:22:03 > < 01:22:04 > < 01:22:05 > T: I hope Rico realizes they're bunking 8 to a tent. < 01:22:06 > < 01:22:07 > < 01:22:08 > M: You've always been my second choice! < 01:22:09 > < 01:22:10 > < 01:22:11 > < 01:22:12 > < 01:22:13 > < 01:22:14 > < 01:22:15 > < 01:22:16 > T: Will he say it back? Is Rico an inconsiderate clod? < 01:22:17 > < 01:22:18 > < 01:22:19 > < 01:22:20 > < 01:22:21 > T: He is!! GOAAAAAAAAAAAL!!!! < 01:22:22 > < 01:22:23 > < 01:22:24 > < 01:22:25 > < 01:22:26 > < 01:22:27 > < 01:22:28 > < 01:22:29 > < 01:22:30 > < 01:22:31 > < 01:22:32 > < 01:22:33 > < 01:22:34 > < 01:22:35 > < 01:22:36 > < 01:22:37 > < 01:22:38 > < 01:22:39 > < 01:22:40 > < 01:22:41 > < 01:22:42 > < 01:22:43 > M: Got room for one more? < 01:22:44 > < 01:22:45 > < 01:22:46 > < 01:22:47 > < 01:22:48 > T: He won't need nearly that long. < 01:22:49 > < 01:22:50 > < 01:22:51 > < 01:22:52 > < 01:22:53 > M: Well *I* can do it. < 01:22:54 > < 01:22:55 > < 01:22:56 > < 01:22:57 > < 01:22:58 > < 01:22:59 > < 01:22:60 > T: We are lost Artoo! < 01:23:00 > < 01:23:01 > T: Go that way, you'll be rusting in no time. < 01:23:02 > < 01:23:03 > < 01:23:04 > < 01:23:05 > < 01:23:06 > < 01:23:07 > < 01:23:08 > < 01:23:09 > < 01:23:10 > < 01:23:11 > < 01:23:12 > < 01:23:13 > M: One time I saw the Stones here, man. < 01:23:14 > < 01:23:15 > T: Same location as before. < 01:23:16 > < 01:23:17 > < 01:23:18 > < 01:23:19 > M: Comanches! < 01:23:20 > < 01:23:21 > < 01:23:22 > < 01:23:23 > < 01:23:24 > < 01:23:25 > < 01:23:26 > < 01:23:27 > < 01:23:28 > < 01:23:29 > < 01:23:30 > < 01:23:31 > < 01:23:32 > < 01:23:33 > < 01:23:34 > < 01:23:35 > < 01:23:36 > T: Set up the giant bug zapper! < 01:23:37 > < 01:23:38 > < 01:23:39 > < 01:23:40 > < 01:23:41 > M: *hic* Thisss is Wizzky Outposht... < 01:23:42 > < 01:23:43 > < 01:23:44 > < 01:23:45 > < 01:23:46 > < 01:23:47 > < 01:23:48 > T: Go someplace you can be easily picked off by the ambush I saw coming. < 01:23:49 > < 01:23:50 > < 01:23:51 > < 01:23:52 > < 01:23:53 > < 01:23:54 > < 01:23:55 > < 01:23:56 > < 01:23:57 > < 01:23:58 > < 01:23:59 > < 01:23:60 > < 01:24:00 > M: Panic! Run! Fire in all directions! We're all gonna die! < 01:24:01 > < 01:24:02 > < 01:24:03 > < 01:24:04 > < 01:24:05 > < 01:24:06 > < 01:24:07 > < 01:24:08 > < 01:24:09 > < 01:24:10 > < 01:24:11 > < 01:24:12 > < 01:24:13 > < 01:24:14 > < 01:24:15 > < 01:24:16 > < 01:24:17 > < 01:24:18 > < 01:24:19 > < 01:24:20 > < 01:24:21 > < 01:24:22 > < 01:24:23 > < 01:24:24 > < 01:24:25 > < 01:24:26 > T: Nice to see their armor doesn't even stop their own bullets. < 01:24:27 > < 01:24:28 > < 01:24:29 > < 01:24:30 > M: Oops...I was uh..sorta aiming at the bug. < 01:24:31 > < 01:24:32 > < 01:24:33 > T: *BLAM* < 01:24:34 > M: Not NOW!! < 01:24:35 > < 01:24:36 > < 01:24:37 > < 01:24:38 > < 01:24:39 > < 01:24:40 > < 01:24:41 > < 01:24:42 > < 01:24:43 > < 01:24:44 > < 01:24:45 > < 01:24:46 > < 01:24:47 > < 01:24:48 > < 01:24:49 > < 01:24:50 > < 01:24:51 > M: Ahh this place looks familiar. Like every other planet we've been to. < 01:24:52 > < 01:24:53 > < 01:24:54 > < 01:24:55 > < 01:24:56 > < 01:24:57 > T: It's like a prefab Helm's Deep. < 01:24:58 > M: It's only a model. < 01:24:59 > < 01:24:60 > < 01:25:00 > < 01:25:01 > < 01:25:02 > < 01:25:03 > < 01:25:04 > < 01:25:05 > < 01:25:06 > < 01:25:07 > < 01:25:08 > < 01:25:09 > < 01:25:10 > < 01:25:11 > < 01:25:12 > < 01:25:13 > < 01:25:14 > < 01:25:15 > < 01:25:16 > < 01:25:17 > T: My GOD...Mormons EVERYWHERE! < 01:25:18 > < 01:25:19 > < 01:25:20 > < 01:25:21 > < 01:25:22 > < 01:25:23 > < 01:25:24 > < 01:25:25 > < 01:25:26 > < 01:25:27 > < 01:25:28 > < 01:25:29 > M: Must have been a really bad Wayne Brady show taped here. < 01:25:30 > < 01:25:31 > T: Now we're gonna have Dennis Quaid hopping around telling us to REMEMBER THE ALAMO! < 01:25:32 > < 01:25:33 > < 01:25:34 > < 01:25:35 > < 01:25:36 > < 01:25:37 > < 01:25:38 > < 01:25:39 > M: Yeah, Rico and Dizzy did that. < 01:25:40 > T: I've got tapes! < 01:25:41 > < 01:25:42 > < 01:25:43 > < 01:25:44 > < 01:25:45 > < 01:25:46 > < 01:25:47 > < 01:25:48 > < 01:25:49 > < 01:25:50 > < 01:25:51 > < 01:25:52 > < 01:25:53 > < 01:25:54 > M: Get me Lysol and Febreeze, on the double! < 01:25:55 > < 01:25:56 > < 01:25:57 > < 01:25:58 > < 01:25:59 > < 01:25:60 > < 01:26:00 > < 01:26:01 > < 01:26:02 > < 01:26:03 > < 01:26:04 > < 01:26:05 > < 01:26:06 > < 01:26:07 > < 01:26:08 > < 01:26:09 > < 01:26:10 > < 01:26:11 > < 01:26:12 > < 01:26:13 > < 01:26:14 > < 01:26:15 > < 01:26:16 > T: The bugs had nothing to do with it, this was just a really nasty meal. < 01:26:17 > < 01:26:18 > M: They bring their rifles to lunch? < 01:26:19 > < 01:26:20 > < 01:26:21 > < 01:26:22 > < 01:26:23 > < 01:26:24 > < 01:26:25 > T: Bughole. < 01:26:26 > M: What'd you call me? < 01:26:27 > < 01:26:28 > < 01:26:29 > < 01:26:30 > < 01:26:31 > M: Somehow I doubt it. < 01:26:32 > < 01:26:33 > < 01:26:34 > < 01:26:35 > T: Hey a twinkie! < 01:26:36 > < 01:26:37 > < 01:26:38 > < 01:26:39 > < 01:26:40 > M: That bug's been airbrushed. < 01:26:41 > < 01:26:42 > < 01:26:43 > < 01:26:44 > < 01:26:45 > < 01:26:46 > < 01:26:47 > < 01:26:48 > < 01:26:49 > < 01:26:50 > < 01:26:51 > < 01:26:52 > T: Uhhh... a hairy coconut? < 01:26:53 > < 01:26:54 > < 01:26:55 > < 01:26:56 > < 01:26:57 > < 01:26:58 > M: Nope! Just a Florida voter. < 01:26:59 > < 01:26:60 > < 01:27:00 > < 01:27:01 > < 01:27:02 > < 01:27:03 > < 01:27:04 > < 01:27:05 > < 01:27:06 > < 01:27:07 > < 01:27:08 > < 01:27:09 > T: Heh heh! < 01:27:10 > M: Michael Ironsides earnes his paycheck, right there. < 01:27:11 > < 01:27:12 > < 01:27:13 > T: Even in death with a hollow skull, he still is smarter than Space Bimbo. < 01:27:14 > < 01:27:15 > < 01:27:16 > < 01:27:17 > < 01:27:18 > < 01:27:19 > < 01:27:20 > < 01:27:21 > < 01:27:22 > < 01:27:23 > < 01:27:24 > < 01:27:25 > < 01:27:26 > M: Chill out! < 01:27:27 > < 01:27:28 > < 01:27:29 > < 01:27:30 > < 01:27:31 > < 01:27:32 > < 01:27:33 > T: If Private Hudson made General. < 01:27:34 > < 01:27:35 > < 01:27:36 > < 01:27:37 > < 01:27:38 > < 01:27:39 > < 01:27:40 > < 01:27:41 > < 01:27:42 > < 01:27:43 > < 01:27:44 > M: You talkin' about the General or the hole in the floor? < 01:27:45 > < 01:27:46 > < 01:27:47 > < 01:27:48 > < 01:27:49 > < 01:27:50 > < 01:27:51 > < 01:27:52 > < 01:27:53 > < 01:27:54 > < 01:27:55 > < 01:27:56 > < 01:27:57 > T: MOVE HIM OUT OF THE WAY for God's sake. < 01:27:58 > < 01:27:59 > < 01:27:60 > < 01:28:00 > < 01:28:01 > < 01:28:02 > < 01:28:03 > < 01:28:04 > < 01:28:05 > < 01:28:06 > < 01:28:07 > < 01:28:08 > < 01:28:09 > < 01:28:10 > < 01:28:11 > < 01:28:12 > T: Except they suck brains like cherry Slurpees. < 01:28:13 > < 01:28:14 > < 01:28:15 > < 01:28:16 > < 01:28:17 > < 01:28:18 > < 01:28:19 > < 01:28:20 > < 01:28:21 > < 01:28:22 > < 01:28:23 > < 01:28:24 > < 01:28:25 > < 01:28:26 > M: Game over maaaan! What're we gonna do now?? < 01:28:27 > < 01:28:28 > < 01:28:29 > < 01:28:30 > < 01:28:31 > < 01:28:32 > < 01:28:33 > < 01:28:34 > < 01:28:35 > < 01:28:36 > < 01:28:37 > < 01:28:38 > < 01:28:39 > < 01:28:40 > < 01:28:41 > < 01:28:42 > < 01:28:43 > < 01:28:44 > M: Let me do it! < 01:28:45 > < 01:28:46 > < 01:28:47 > < 01:28:48 > < 01:28:49 > < 01:28:50 > < 01:28:51 > < 01:28:52 > < 01:28:53 > < 01:28:54 > < 01:28:55 > < 01:28:56 > < 01:28:57 > (ook ook ook!) < 01:28:58 > T: Stay on the comms while I shout badass war cliches! < 01:28:59 > < 01:28:60 > < 01:29:00 > < 01:29:01 > < 01:29:02 > < 01:29:03 > < 01:29:04 > < 01:29:05 > < 01:29:06 > < 01:29:07 > < 01:29:08 > < 01:29:09 > M: Does sheet aluminum help to repel many attacking armies? < 01:29:10 > < 01:29:11 > < 01:29:12 > < 01:29:13 > T: Nukes? Anyone? Nukes? Did we run out? < 01:29:14 > < 01:29:15 > < 01:29:16 > < 01:29:17 > < 01:29:18 > < 01:29:19 > < 01:29:20 > < 01:29:21 > < 01:29:22 > < 01:29:23 > < 01:29:24 > < 01:29:25 > < 01:29:26 > < 01:29:27 > < 01:29:28 > < 01:29:29 > < 01:29:30 > < 01:29:31 > < 01:29:32 > < 01:29:33 > < 01:29:34 > < 01:29:35 > < 01:29:36 > M: Heh look at that, how do you MISS this swarm? < 01:29:37 > < 01:29:38 > < 01:29:39 > < 01:29:40 > < 01:29:41 > < 01:29:42 > < 01:29:43 > < 01:29:44 > < 01:29:45 > < 01:29:46 > T: If only we had a ninja elf to help us. < 01:29:47 > < 01:29:48 > < 01:29:49 > < 01:29:50 > < 01:29:51 > < 01:29:52 > M: Grenades? Flame units? Rockets? Anything? < 01:29:53 > < 01:29:54 > < 01:29:55 > < 01:29:56 > < 01:29:57 > < 01:29:58 > < 01:29:59 > < 01:29:60 > < 01:30:00 > < 01:30:01 > < 01:30:02 > < 01:30:03 > < 01:30:04 > < 01:30:05 > < 01:30:06 > < 01:30:07 > < 01:30:08 > < 01:30:09 > < 01:30:10 > < 01:30:11 > < 01:30:12 > T: The bugs called in air support! < 01:30:13 > < 01:30:14 > < 01:30:15 > < 01:30:16 > M: Zeroes! < 01:30:17 > < 01:30:18 > < 01:30:19 > < 01:30:20 > < 01:30:21 > < 01:30:22 > < 01:30:23 > < 01:30:24 > T: HEAD SHOT! < 01:30:25 > < 01:30:26 > < 01:30:27 > < 01:30:28 > T: HEAD SHOT! DOUBLE KILL! < 01:30:29 > < 01:30:30 > < 01:30:31 > < 01:30:32 > < 01:30:33 > < 01:30:34 > < 01:30:35 > < 01:30:36 > < 01:30:37 > < 01:30:38 > M: Again with that shotgun thing, where does that come from? < 01:30:39 > T: Two types of rifle ammo but no grenades, it's incredible. < 01:30:40 > M: Rico had a grenade, but where are the others? It's amazing. < 01:30:41 > < 01:30:42 > < 01:30:43 > < 01:30:44 > < 01:30:45 > < 01:30:46 > T: Uh, that's funny.. uh... < 01:30:47 > < 01:30:48 > < 01:30:49 > < 01:30:50 > < 01:30:51 > < 01:30:52 > M: Dammit I need full power! < 01:30:53 > < 01:30:54 > < 01:30:55 > < 01:30:56 > < 01:30:57 > < 01:30:58 > T: Ah, bugs have intimate knowledge of architectural design. < 01:30:59 > < 01:30:60 > < 01:31:00 > < 01:31:01 > < 01:31:02 > < 01:31:03 > < 01:31:04 > < 01:31:05 > < 01:31:06 > < 01:31:07 > < 01:31:08 > < 01:31:09 > < 01:31:10 > < 01:31:11 > < 01:31:12 > < 01:31:13 > < 01:31:14 > < 01:31:15 > < 01:31:16 > M: aaaagh. Foreshadowing. < 01:31:17 > < 01:31:18 > < 01:31:19 > < 01:31:20 > < 01:31:21 > < 01:31:22 > < 01:31:23 > < 01:31:24 > T: Wait a minute, it used to take six men empty their entire clips to take down one bug, and now two dozen soldiers are killing them in piles 30 feet high? < 01:31:25 > M: Yeah that's kind of inconsistent. < 01:31:26 > < 01:31:27 > < 01:31:28 > < 01:31:29 > < 01:31:30 > < 01:31:31 > < 01:31:32 > < 01:31:33 > < 01:31:34 > < 01:31:35 > < 01:31:36 > < 01:31:37 > < 01:31:38 > < 01:31:39 > < 01:31:40 > < 01:31:41 > < 01:31:42 > < 01:31:43 > < 01:31:44 > < 01:31:45 > M: If only we had some giant, heavily armed flying mech suits! < 01:31:46 > < 01:31:47 > < 01:31:48 > < 01:31:49 > < 01:31:50 > < 01:31:51 > < 01:31:52 > < 01:31:53 > < 01:31:54 > < 01:31:55 > < 01:31:56 > < 01:31:57 > < 01:31:58 > < 01:31:59 > T: Aaaaah!!! < 01:31:60 > < 01:32:00 > < 01:32:01 > < 01:32:02 > < 01:32:03 > < 01:32:04 > < 01:32:05 > < 01:32:06 > M: That armor does truly nothing, they might as well be wearing speedos. < 01:32:07 > < 01:32:08 > < 01:32:09 > < 01:32:10 > < 01:32:11 > < 01:32:12 > < 01:32:13 > < 01:32:14 > < 01:32:15 > < 01:32:16 > < 01:32:17 > < 01:32:18 > < 01:32:19 > < 01:32:20 > < 01:32:21 > < 01:32:22 > < 01:32:23 > < 01:32:24 > < 01:32:25 > < 01:32:26 > < 01:32:27 > < 01:32:28 > < 01:32:29 > < 01:32:30 > < 01:32:31 > < 01:32:32 > T: This is when the rousing Robocop music kicks into high gear. < 01:32:33 > < 01:32:34 > < 01:32:35 > < 01:32:36 > < 01:32:37 > < 01:32:38 > < 01:32:39 > < 01:32:40 > < 01:32:41 > < 01:32:42 > < 01:32:43 > < 01:32:44 > < 01:32:45 > M: Why not use your mysterious underbarrel shotgun. < 01:32:46 > T: Only Rico has that for some reason. < 01:32:47 > < 01:32:48 > < 01:32:49 > < 01:32:50 > < 01:32:51 > < 01:32:52 > < 01:32:53 > T: Armor useless again. < 01:32:54 > < 01:32:55 > < 01:32:56 > < 01:32:57 > < 01:32:58 > < 01:32:59 > M: I wonder who that could be! < 01:32:60 > < 01:33:00 > < 01:33:01 > < 01:33:02 > < 01:33:03 > T: Fall back where? This is it! < 01:33:04 > < 01:33:05 > < 01:33:06 > *AAAAAH IT'S HOT!* < 01:33:07 > < 01:33:08 > < 01:33:09 > < 01:33:10 > < 01:33:11 > < 01:33:12 > < 01:33:13 > < 01:33:14 > < 01:33:15 > < 01:33:16 > M: Retreat to the giant toy! < 01:33:17 > < 01:33:18 > < 01:33:19 > < 01:33:20 > < 01:33:21 > < 01:33:22 > T: What?? Did Zander get some kind of supergun?? < 01:33:23 > < 01:33:24 > < 01:33:25 > < 01:33:26 > < 01:33:27 > < 01:33:28 > < 01:33:29 > < 01:33:30 > M: Yep it was a foolish man that built his fortress on birdseed and oatmeal. < 01:33:31 > < 01:33:32 > < 01:33:33 > T: Aaagh I'm shootin' myself in the knees, that ain't smart! < 01:33:34 > < 01:33:35 > < 01:33:36 > < 01:33:37 > < 01:33:38 > < 01:33:39 > < 01:33:40 > < 01:33:41 > < 01:33:42 > < 01:33:43 > < 01:33:44 > T: They can't kill him, they have to cut his head off! < 01:33:45 > M: There was no Highlander sequel, man, just shut up. < 01:33:46 > < 01:33:47 > < 01:33:48 > < 01:33:49 > T: That didn't help, aaaagh! < 01:33:50 > < 01:33:51 > < 01:33:52 > < 01:33:53 > < 01:33:54 > < 01:33:55 > < 01:33:56 > < 01:33:57 > M: Kiss me! < 01:33:58 > < 01:33:59 > < 01:33:60 > < 01:34:00 > < 01:34:01 > < 01:34:02 > < 01:34:03 > < 01:34:04 > < 01:34:05 > < 01:34:06 > < 01:34:07 > < 01:34:08 > T: Kill the BUG not me!! AAARGH! < 01:34:09 > M: armor again useless. < 01:34:10 > < 01:34:11 > < 01:34:12 > < 01:34:13 > < 01:34:14 > < 01:34:15 > < 01:34:16 > < 01:34:17 > < 01:34:18 > M: oh NOW you have a grenade, ooohohhh < 01:34:19 > < 01:34:20 > < 01:34:21 > < 01:34:22 > < 01:34:23 > < 01:34:24 > < 01:34:25 > < 01:34:26 > < 01:34:27 > < 01:34:28 > T: Aaah all that football stuff pays off at last. < 01:34:29 > M: I hurt inside. < 01:34:30 > < 01:34:31 > < 01:34:32 > < 01:34:33 > < 01:34:34 > < 01:34:35 > < 01:34:36 > < 01:34:37 > < 01:34:38 > < 01:34:39 > < 01:34:40 > < 01:34:41 > < 01:34:42 > T: Aim higher! Higher! < 01:34:43 > < 01:34:44 > < 01:34:45 > < 01:34:46 > < 01:34:47 > < 01:34:48 > < 01:34:49 > < 01:34:50 > < 01:34:51 > < 01:34:52 > < 01:34:53 > < 01:34:54 > M: all of a sudden it takes eight guys to kill the bug again. < 01:34:55 > < 01:34:56 > < 01:34:57 > < 01:34:58 > < 01:34:59 > < 01:34:60 > < 01:35:00 > < 01:35:01 > < 01:35:02 > < 01:35:03 > < 01:35:04 > < 01:35:05 > < 01:35:06 > < 01:35:07 > T: Remove the only thing that's keeping her from bleeding like a stuck pig! Good! < 01:35:08 > < 01:35:09 > < 01:35:10 > < 01:35:11 > < 01:35:12 > < 01:35:13 > < 01:35:14 > < 01:35:15 > < 01:35:16 > < 01:35:17 > < 01:35:18 > < 01:35:19 > < 01:35:20 > < 01:35:21 > < 01:35:22 > M: So these clowns pilot the capital ship AND the dropship? < 01:35:23 > < 01:35:24 > < 01:35:25 > < 01:35:26 > < 01:35:27 > < 01:35:28 > < 01:35:29 > < 01:35:30 > T: SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM! < 01:35:31 > < 01:35:32 > < 01:35:33 > < 01:35:34 > < 01:35:35 > < 01:35:36 > < 01:35:37 > < 01:35:38 > < 01:35:39 > < 01:35:40 > < 01:35:41 > < 01:35:42 > < 01:35:43 > < 01:35:44 > < 01:35:45 > < 01:35:46 > < 01:35:47 > < 01:35:48 > < 01:35:49 > < 01:35:50 > T: I know how we can beat 'em, just build one giant robot with HUGE HUGE feet! < 01:35:51 > < 01:35:52 > < 01:35:53 > < 01:35:54 > < 01:35:55 > < 01:35:56 > < 01:35:57 > < 01:35:58 > < 01:35:59 > < 01:35:60 > < 01:36:00 > < 01:36:01 > < 01:36:02 > < 01:36:03 > < 01:36:04 > < 01:36:05 > < 01:36:06 > < 01:36:07 > < 01:36:08 > < 01:36:09 > M: Oh what did you bring HER on board for? I'm gonna get the mop. < 01:36:10 > < 01:36:11 > < 01:36:12 > < 01:36:13 > T: No shit. < 01:36:14 > < 01:36:15 > < 01:36:16 > < 01:36:17 > < 01:36:18 > < 01:36:19 > < 01:36:20 > < 01:36:21 > < 01:36:22 > < 01:36:23 > < 01:36:24 > < 01:36:25 > < 01:36:26 > M: Say what you like, this isn't nearly as long as Trinity's death scene. < 01:36:27 > T: Not by like 5 minutes. < 01:36:28 > < 01:36:29 > < 01:36:30 > < 01:36:31 > < 01:36:32 > < 01:36:33 > < 01:36:34 > < 01:36:35 > < 01:36:36 > < 01:36:37 > < 01:36:38 > < 01:36:39 > < 01:36:40 > < 01:36:41 > < 01:36:42 > < 01:36:43 > M: Dang and now I don't have a #3 girlfriend pick. < 01:36:44 > < 01:36:45 > < 01:36:46 > < 01:36:47 > < 01:36:48 > < 01:36:49 > < 01:36:50 > < 01:36:51 > < 01:36:52 > < 01:36:53 > < 01:36:54 > < 01:36:55 > < 01:36:56 > < 01:36:57 > < 01:36:58 > < 01:36:59 > < 01:36:60 > < 01:37:00 > M: Well the bugs didn't take prisoners! < 01:37:01 > < 01:37:02 > T: He looks terrifyingly like Rob Lowe from The West Wing. < 01:37:03 > < 01:37:04 > < 01:37:05 > < 01:37:06 > < 01:37:07 > < 01:37:08 > < 01:37:09 > < 01:37:10 > M: Does she have an emotion here? Naah. < 01:37:11 > < 01:37:12 > < 01:37:13 > T: I used to go out with him! < 01:37:14 > M: Scared? Concerned? Surprused? < 01:37:15 > < 01:37:16 > < 01:37:17 > < 01:37:18 > < 01:37:19 > < 01:37:20 > < 01:37:21 > < 01:37:22 > < 01:37:23 > < 01:37:24 > < 01:37:25 > < 01:37:26 > < 01:37:27 > T: Everyone else is dead! < 01:37:28 > < 01:37:29 > < 01:37:30 > < 01:37:31 > < 01:37:32 > < 01:37:33 > < 01:37:34 > < 01:37:35 > < 01:37:36 > < 01:37:37 > < 01:37:38 > < 01:37:39 > M: So now he's instantly promoted to Lieutenant? What's going on? < 01:37:40 > < 01:37:41 > < 01:37:42 > < 01:37:43 > < 01:37:44 > < 01:37:45 > T: Janeway out! < 01:37:46 > < 01:37:47 > < 01:37:48 > < 01:37:49 > < 01:37:50 > < 01:37:51 > < 01:37:52 > T: And they're still all clustered together in one spot so they could all be taken out in one explosion. < 01:37:53 > < 01:37:54 > < 01:37:55 > < 01:37:56 > < 01:37:57 > < 01:37:58 > M: I'm gonna go rifle Dizzy's pockets for loose change. < 01:37:59 > < 01:37:60 > < 01:38:00 > < 01:38:01 > < 01:38:02 > < 01:38:03 > < 01:38:04 > < 01:38:05 > < 01:38:06 > T: Oh come on, Carmen, his girlfriend isn't even cold yet and you're already casting looks at him again. < 01:38:07 > < 01:38:08 > < 01:38:09 > < 01:38:10 > < 01:38:11 > < 01:38:12 > < 01:38:13 > < 01:38:14 > < 01:38:15 > < 01:38:16 > < 01:38:17 > < 01:38:18 > < 01:38:19 > < 01:38:20 > < 01:38:21 > M: We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of a member...of the Rhythm Nation. < 01:38:22 > < 01:38:23 > < 01:38:24 > < 01:38:25 > < 01:38:26 > < 01:38:27 > T: Is the bird on his hat on upside-down? < 01:38:28 > < 01:38:29 > < 01:38:30 > < 01:38:31 > < 01:38:32 > < 01:38:33 > < 01:38:34 > < 01:38:35 > < 01:38:36 > < 01:38:37 > < 01:38:38 > T: A citizen has the balls to dress like a flight attendant! < 01:38:39 > < 01:38:40 > < 01:38:41 > < 01:38:42 > < 01:38:43 > < 01:38:44 > < 01:38:45 > < 01:38:46 > < 01:38:47 > < 01:38:48 > M: Carmen!! DOWN GIRL! You nasty ho. < 01:38:49 > < 01:38:50 > < 01:38:51 > < 01:38:52 > < 01:38:53 > < 01:38:54 > T: She was great in the sack! < 01:38:55 > < 01:38:56 > < 01:38:57 > < 01:38:58 > < 01:38:59 > M: She was a natural C-cup. < 01:38:60 > < 01:39:00 > < 01:39:01 > < 01:39:02 > < 01:39:03 > < 01:39:04 > < 01:39:05 > < 01:39:06 > < 01:39:07 > T: whoo! I figured closed-casket! < 01:39:08 > < 01:39:09 > < 01:39:10 > < 01:39:11 > < 01:39:12 > < 01:39:13 > < 01:39:14 > < 01:39:15 > < 01:39:16 > < 01:39:17 > < 01:39:18 > < 01:39:19 > T: *pop pop pop* I'm not dead Johhny! < 01:39:20 > < 01:39:21 > < 01:39:22 > < 01:39:23 > < 01:39:24 > < 01:39:25 > < 01:39:26 > < 01:39:27 > < 01:39:28 > < 01:39:29 > < 01:39:30 > < 01:39:31 > < 01:39:32 > M: A whole lotta people got killed, they're gonna be here all weekend. < 01:39:33 > T: Better start loadin' three at a time. < 01:39:34 > < 01:39:35 > < 01:39:36 > < 01:39:37 > < 01:39:38 > < 01:39:39 > < 01:39:40 > < 01:39:41 > < 01:39:42 > < 01:39:43 > * Don't turn around...Der Kommisar's in town... * < 01:39:44 > < 01:39:45 > T: That's the second time we've done that. We're getting predictable. < 01:39:46 > < 01:39:47 > < 01:39:48 > < 01:39:49 > < 01:39:50 > < 01:39:51 > < 01:39:52 > < 01:39:53 > M: Oh and there's cookies and punch in the lounge. < 01:39:54 > < 01:39:55 > < 01:39:56 > < 01:39:57 > < 01:39:58 > < 01:39:59 > < 01:39:60 > < 01:40:00 > < 01:40:01 > < 01:40:02 > T: Don't ask me qvestions!! < 01:40:03 > M: Nazi Doogie! < 01:40:04 > < 01:40:05 > < 01:40:06 > < 01:40:07 > < 01:40:08 > M: Zere was a very low suvival probability! < 01:40:09 > T: Hoooogaaaan! < 01:40:10 > < 01:40:11 > < 01:40:12 > < 01:40:13 > < 01:40:14 > < 01:40:15 > < 01:40:16 > < 01:40:17 > < 01:40:18 > < 01:40:19 > < 01:40:20 > < 01:40:21 > < 01:40:22 > < 01:40:23 > T: Can't make an omelet wizout breaking ze eggz! < 01:40:24 > < 01:40:25 > < 01:40:26 > < 01:40:27 > < 01:40:28 > < 01:40:29 > < 01:40:30 > < 01:40:31 > < 01:40:32 > M: Wow, Doogie's gone fascist! < 01:40:33 > < 01:40:34 > < 01:40:35 > < 01:40:36 > < 01:40:37 > < 01:40:38 > < 01:40:39 > < 01:40:40 > < 01:40:41 > T: Dying? Bad rep. < 01:40:42 > < 01:40:43 > < 01:40:44 > < 01:40:45 > < 01:40:46 > *Huhuhuh!* < 01:40:47 > M: But I went to P before we left! < 01:40:48 > < 01:40:49 > T: Vee are all going wiz the entire fleet to P at once! < 01:40:50 > < 01:40:51 > < 01:40:52 > < 01:40:53 > < 01:40:54 > M: Yawohol! < 01:40:55 > < 01:40:56 > < 01:40:57 > < 01:40:58 > < 01:40:59 > < 01:40:60 > M: at the rate Rico's going he'll make General by the end of the year on field promotions alone. < 01:41:00 > < 01:41:01 > < 01:41:02 > < 01:41:03 > < 01:41:04 > < 01:41:05 > T: When did Carl join the secret police? < 01:41:06 > < 01:41:07 > < 01:41:08 > < 01:41:09 > < 01:41:10 > < 01:41:11 > < 01:41:12 > M: In HELL. < 01:41:13 > < 01:41:14 > < 01:41:15 > < 01:41:16 > < 01:41:17 > T: P's got a lot of rocks in it. < 01:41:18 > < 01:41:19 > < 01:41:20 > < 01:41:21 > < 01:41:22 > < 01:41:23 > T: Rico was the first here. He went to P in front of everyone else. < 01:41:24 > < 01:41:25 > < 01:41:26 > < 01:41:27 > < 01:41:28 > < 01:41:29 > < 01:41:30 > < 01:41:31 > < 01:41:32 > < 01:41:33 > < 01:41:34 > < 01:41:35 > < 01:41:36 > M: Are they drafting 12 year olds now? < 01:41:37 > < 01:41:38 > < 01:41:39 > < 01:41:40 > < 01:41:41 > < 01:41:42 > < 01:41:43 > < 01:41:44 > T: They're only a year younger than you, sport. < 01:41:45 > < 01:41:46 > < 01:41:47 > < 01:41:48 > < 01:41:49 > < 01:41:50 > < 01:41:51 > < 01:41:52 > < 01:41:53 > < 01:41:54 > < 01:41:55 > < 01:41:56 > < 01:41:57 > < 01:41:58 > < 01:41:59 > M: Aw now he's stealing Ironsides' schtick! < 01:41:60 > < 01:42:00 > < 01:42:01 > < 01:42:02 > < 01:42:03 > < 01:42:04 > < 01:42:05 > M: Naah Ironsides had a better delivery. < 01:42:06 > T: Look at all the privates sent to P. < 01:42:07 > < 01:42:08 > < 01:42:09 > < 01:42:10 > < 01:42:11 > < 01:42:12 > < 01:42:13 > < 01:42:14 > < 01:42:15 > < 01:42:16 > < 01:42:17 > < 01:42:18 > < 01:42:19 > < 01:42:20 > < 01:42:21 > < 01:42:22 > < 01:42:23 > < 01:42:24 > T: Like Woody Allen. < 01:42:25 > < 01:42:26 > < 01:42:27 > < 01:42:28 > < 01:42:29 > < 01:42:30 > < 01:42:31 > < 01:42:32 > < 01:42:33 > M: We're gonna be walking all over P! < 01:42:34 > < 01:42:35 > < 01:42:36 > < 01:42:37 > < 01:42:38 > < 01:42:39 > < 01:42:40 > < 01:42:41 > < 01:42:42 > < 01:42:43 > T: This keeps happening! We're all bunched up again and easy pickings for flak! We suck at this! < 01:42:44 > < 01:42:45 > M: Don't they have shipboard guns or cannons or evasive action? ANYTHING? < 01:42:46 > < 01:42:47 > < 01:42:48 > < 01:42:49 > < 01:42:50 > < 01:42:51 > < 01:42:52 > < 01:42:53 > M: BRILLIANT. < 01:42:54 > < 01:42:55 > < 01:42:56 > < 01:42:57 > T: Someone must have promoted Mr. Magoo to fleet admiral. < 01:42:58 > M: What now, Lord Nelson? < 01:42:59 > < 01:42:60 > < 01:43:00 > < 01:43:01 > < 01:43:02 > < 01:43:03 > < 01:43:04 > < 01:43:05 > < 01:43:06 > < 01:43:07 > T: Damn the ass rockets, full speed ahead! < 01:43:08 > < 01:43:09 > < 01:43:10 > < 01:43:11 > < 01:43:12 > M: This is kinda like Babylon 5. Only it's not nearly as interesting or good looking or plausible or... < 01:43:13 > < 01:43:14 > < 01:43:15 > < 01:43:16 > < 01:43:17 > < 01:43:18 > < 01:43:19 > < 01:43:20 > T: Not another coundown... < 01:43:21 > M: Ready steady AAAAH!!! < 01:43:22 > < 01:43:23 > < 01:43:24 > < 01:43:25 > < 01:43:26 > < 01:43:27 > < 01:43:28 > T: They'd save so many lives if they had seat belts in the future. < 01:43:29 > < 01:43:30 > < 01:43:31 > < 01:43:32 > < 01:43:33 > < 01:43:34 > *Love will lift us up where we belong...* < 01:43:35 > < 01:43:36 > < 01:43:37 > < 01:43:38 > T: Sucks to be them. HA HA HA HA! < 01:43:39 > < 01:43:40 > < 01:43:41 > < 01:43:42 > < 01:43:43 > < 01:43:44 > < 01:43:45 > < 01:43:46 > < 01:43:47 > < 01:43:48 > M: Whopper and fries, please pull ahead. < 01:43:49 > < 01:43:50 > < 01:43:51 > < 01:43:52 > < 01:43:53 > < 01:43:54 > < 01:43:55 > < 01:43:56 > < 01:43:57 > < 01:43:58 > < 01:43:59 > M: WOW, another great battle strategy from Patton over here! < 01:43:60 > < 01:44:00 > < 01:44:01 > < 01:44:02 > < 01:44:03 > < 01:44:04 > < 01:44:05 > < 01:44:06 > < 01:44:07 > < 01:44:08 > < 01:44:09 > < 01:44:10 > < 01:44:11 > T: Broke a heel! < 01:44:12 > < 01:44:13 > < 01:44:14 > < 01:44:15 > < 01:44:16 > T: Oh yeah, I did that once with the garage door. < 01:44:17 > M: Seems rather unsafe, don't ya think? < 01:44:18 > < 01:44:19 > < 01:44:20 > < 01:44:21 > < 01:44:22 > < 01:44:23 > < 01:44:24 > < 01:44:25 > < 01:44:26 > T: And the Oscar goes to... < 01:44:27 > < 01:44:28 > M: Aw man, this means Denise is the captain now. < 01:44:29 > < 01:44:30 > < 01:44:31 > < 01:44:32 > T: Agh...you know, this makes me really miss Enterprise. < 01:44:33 > < 01:44:34 > M: Enterprise? Really? < 01:44:35 > < 01:44:36 > T: Yeah I mean it wasn't the best show out there but it was better than this in nearly every respect. You know, Sam from Quantum Leap, that vulcan babe with the huge-- < 01:44:37 > M: Watch it < 01:44:38 > T: Talent...And of course it had that stirring theme song. *sing the song* < 01:44:39 > M: Stop it stop it this movie's too long! It's killing you! Someone end this movie! His fleshy human mind can't take it! He's singing Rod Stewart music. This is not a sane man! < 01:44:40 > < 01:44:41 > < 01:44:42 > < 01:44:43 > < 01:44:44 > < 01:44:45 > < 01:44:46 > < 01:44:47 > < 01:44:48 > < 01:44:49 > < 01:44:50 > < 01:44:51 > < 01:44:52 > < 01:44:53 > < 01:44:54 > < 01:44:55 > < 01:44:56 > T: Ok...hey wow, stuff falls down in space. < 01:44:57 > < 01:44:58 > < 01:44:59 > < 01:44:60 > < 01:45:00 > < 01:45:01 > < 01:45:02 > < 01:45:03 > < 01:45:04 > < 01:45:05 > < 01:45:06 > < 01:45:07 > < 01:45:08 > < 01:45:09 > < 01:45:10 > M: Like the movie, that ship blows! < 01:45:11 > < 01:45:12 > < 01:45:13 > < 01:45:14 > M: Put on your laser tag helmets! < 01:45:15 > T: Somehow I think if they crash into a planet those helmets won't do much good. < 01:45:16 > < 01:45:17 > < 01:45:18 > < 01:45:19 > < 01:45:20 > < 01:45:21 > M: Ready, steady, goooaaaah! < 01:45:22 > T: Whoops. < 01:45:23 > < 01:45:24 > < 01:45:25 > < 01:45:26 > T: Escape system developed by Firestone technologies. < 01:45:27 > < 01:45:28 > < 01:45:29 > < 01:45:30 > < 01:45:31 > M: Tonight on Timecop. < 01:45:32 > < 01:45:33 > < 01:45:34 > < 01:45:35 > < 01:45:36 > < 01:45:37 > < 01:45:38 > T: My god it's full of stars! < 01:45:39 > < 01:45:40 > < 01:45:41 > < 01:45:42 > < 01:45:43 > < 01:45:44 > M: Out of all that, one pod gets out. The one pod containing the two most out-of-the-way people, as well. < 01:45:45 > < 01:45:46 > < 01:45:47 > < 01:45:48 > < 01:45:49 > < 01:45:50 > < 01:45:51 > < 01:45:52 > < 01:45:53 > < 01:45:54 > < 01:45:55 > < 01:45:56 > < 01:45:57 > T: Is landing on the bug-infested planet really a good idea? < 01:45:58 > < 01:45:59 > < 01:45:60 > < 01:46:00 > < 01:46:01 > M: Oh but I don't eat cake much, I'm really more of a pie person... < 01:46:02 > < 01:46:03 > < 01:46:04 > < 01:46:05 > < 01:46:06 > < 01:46:07 > < 01:46:08 > < 01:46:09 > < 01:46:10 > < 01:46:11 > M: Kirk to enterprise. < 01:46:12 > T: Can you hear me now? Good! < 01:46:13 > < 01:46:14 > < 01:46:15 > < 01:46:16 > M: My shoes are untied. < 01:46:17 > < 01:46:18 > < 01:46:19 > < 01:46:20 > < 01:46:21 > < 01:46:22 > < 01:46:23 > T: They all burned up, they're complete idiots. < 01:46:24 > < 01:46:25 > < 01:46:26 > < 01:46:27 > < 01:46:28 > < 01:46:29 > < 01:46:30 > < 01:46:31 > < 01:46:32 > < 01:46:33 > < 01:46:34 > < 01:46:35 > < 01:46:36 > < 01:46:37 > < 01:46:38 > < 01:46:39 > < 01:46:40 > < 01:46:41 > M: Aw man, had to be the ex. < 01:46:42 > < 01:46:43 > < 01:46:44 > < 01:46:45 > < 01:46:46 > < 01:46:47 > < 01:46:48 > < 01:46:49 > * OH JUST DO IT! * < 01:46:50 > < 01:46:51 > < 01:46:52 > < 01:46:53 > < 01:46:54 > < 01:46:55 > < 01:46:56 > < 01:46:57 > < 01:46:58 > < 01:46:59 > < 01:46:60 > < 01:47:00 > < 01:47:01 > < 01:47:02 > < 01:47:03 > < 01:47:04 > < 01:47:05 > T: That was "handling it"? < 01:47:06 > < 01:47:07 > < 01:47:08 > < 01:47:09 > M: Taking off helmet, open hatch in 3, 2, ready steady go! < 01:47:10 > < 01:47:11 > < 01:47:12 > < 01:47:13 > T: My thinker hurts. < 01:47:14 > < 01:47:15 > < 01:47:16 > < 01:47:17 > < 01:47:18 > < 01:47:19 > M: Opening weapons locker in ready steady- < 01:47:20 > T: Ok that's enough! < 01:47:21 > < 01:47:22 > < 01:47:23 > < 01:47:24 > < 01:47:25 > < 01:47:26 > T: Oh, rifles for two, ain't that convenient? < 01:47:27 > < 01:47:28 > < 01:47:29 > < 01:47:30 > < 01:47:31 > < 01:47:32 > M: HEY tell her I said hi! < 01:47:33 > < 01:47:34 > < 01:47:35 > < 01:47:36 > < 01:47:37 > < 01:47:38 > < 01:47:39 > < 01:47:40 > < 01:47:41 > < 01:47:42 > < 01:47:43 > < 01:47:44 > T: Um...I'll call you back! < 01:47:45 > < 01:47:46 > < 01:47:47 > < 01:47:48 > < 01:47:49 > M: No duh. < 01:47:50 > < 01:47:51 > < 01:47:52 > < 01:47:53 > < 01:47:54 > < 01:47:55 > < 01:47:56 > < 01:47:57 > < 01:47:58 > < 01:47:59 > < 01:47:60 > < 01:48:00 > M: Yeah they teach pilots how to fire rifles, too. In case you didn't know. < 01:48:01 > < 01:48:02 > < 01:48:03 > < 01:48:04 > < 01:48:05 > T: Remember! Bugs don't take prisoners! WYLD STALLYNS! < 01:48:06 > < 01:48:07 > < 01:48:08 > < 01:48:09 > < 01:48:10 > < 01:48:11 > T: Oh I hope they don't probe me. AAAH THEY DID! < 01:48:12 > < 01:48:13 > < 01:48:14 > < 01:48:15 > < 01:48:16 > < 01:48:17 > < 01:48:18 > M: When angered she gains the strength of a thousand shoppers. < 01:48:19 > < 01:48:20 > < 01:48:21 > < 01:48:22 > < 01:48:23 > T: Look at it this way, man, at least the guy she cheated on you with is dead too! < 01:48:24 > < 01:48:25 > < 01:48:26 > M: My buck teeth are here for you man. < 01:48:27 > < 01:48:28 > < 01:48:29 > < 01:48:30 > < 01:48:31 > < 01:48:32 > < 01:48:33 > < 01:48:34 > < 01:48:35 > < 01:48:36 > < 01:48:37 > < 01:48:38 > < 01:48:39 > < 01:48:40 > T: Or at least I hope she is. < 01:48:41 > < 01:48:42 > < 01:48:43 > < 01:48:44 > < 01:48:45 > < 01:48:46 > T: This is your scalp, magnified a thousand times. Get Rid lice remover! < 01:48:47 > < 01:48:48 > < 01:48:49 > < 01:48:50 > < 01:48:51 > < 01:48:52 > < 01:48:53 > < 01:48:54 > < 01:48:55 > < 01:48:56 > < 01:48:57 > < 01:48:58 > < 01:48:59 > < 01:48:60 > < 01:49:00 > < 01:49:01 > < 01:49:02 > < 01:49:03 > < 01:49:04 > < 01:49:05 > < 01:49:06 > < 01:49:07 > < 01:49:08 > < 01:49:09 > < 01:49:10 > M: Whoaaaaa I guess that disproves my earlier theorem! < 01:49:11 > < 01:49:12 > < 01:49:13 > < 01:49:14 > < 01:49:15 > T: Either that or they're planning to drain us of fluid, string us up in a silken web, and devour us later when our organic matter is sufficiently broken down. < 01:49:16 > < 01:49:17 > < 01:49:18 > < 01:49:19 > < 01:49:20 > < 01:49:21 > < 01:49:22 > < 01:49:23 > < 01:49:24 > < 01:49:25 > < 01:49:26 > M: We represent, the Lollipop Bug! < 01:49:27 > < 01:49:28 > < 01:49:29 > < 01:49:30 > < 01:49:31 > < 01:49:32 > < 01:49:33 > < 01:49:34 > < 01:49:35 > T: This movie has more Dungeons than Dungeons & Dragons did! < 01:49:36 > < 01:49:37 > < 01:49:38 > < 01:49:39 > < 01:49:40 > < 01:49:41 > < 01:49:42 > < 01:49:43 > < 01:49:44 > < 01:49:45 > < 01:49:46 > < 01:49:47 > < 01:49:48 > T: Aaah you know what? Carmen still has my football ring. Dammit.\ < 01:49:49 > < 01:49:50 > < 01:49:51 > < 01:49:52 > < 01:49:53 > < 01:49:54 > < 01:49:55 > < 01:49:56 > < 01:49:57 > < 01:49:58 > < 01:49:59 > < 01:49:60 > *NBC Mystery Movie whistle* < 01:50:00 > < 01:50:01 > < 01:50:02 > < 01:50:03 > < 01:50:04 > < 01:50:05 > < 01:50:06 > < 01:50:07 > < 01:50:08 > < 01:50:09 > < 01:50:10 > < 01:50:11 > < 01:50:12 > < 01:50:13 > M: What is he a Jedi knight all of a sudden? < 01:50:14 > T: Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? < 01:50:15 > < 01:50:16 > < 01:50:17 > < 01:50:18 > < 01:50:19 > < 01:50:20 > < 01:50:21 > < 01:50:22 > < 01:50:23 > < 01:50:24 > T: It's a psychic link forged in the bonds of nookie. < 01:50:25 > < 01:50:26 > < 01:50:27 > < 01:50:28 > < 01:50:29 > < 01:50:30 > < 01:50:31 > < 01:50:32 > M: No no they chain you up to the spanking machine. That was fun. < 01:50:33 > < 01:50:34 > T: Can't be as bad as shooting a teammate in the head. But who would do that? < 01:50:35 > < 01:50:36 > < 01:50:37 > < 01:50:38 > < 01:50:39 > < 01:50:40 > < 01:50:41 > < 01:50:42 > < 01:50:43 > < 01:50:44 > < 01:50:45 > < 01:50:46 > < 01:50:47 > < 01:50:48 > < 01:50:49 > < 01:50:50 > M: So uh...where's Osama bin Laden? < 01:50:51 > < 01:50:52 > < 01:50:53 > < 01:50:54 > < 01:50:55 > < 01:50:56 > < 01:50:57 > < 01:50:58 > < 01:50:59 > < 01:50:60 > < 01:51:00 > < 01:51:01 > < 01:51:02 > < 01:51:03 > < 01:51:04 > < 01:51:05 > < 01:51:06 > < 01:51:07 > T: *Jabba speak* < 01:51:08 > < 01:51:09 > < 01:51:10 > < 01:51:11 > < 01:51:12 > < 01:51:13 > < 01:51:14 > < 01:51:15 > < 01:51:16 > < 01:51:17 > < 01:51:18 > < 01:51:19 > M: What'd you give me this knife for? Eeeew it's all gooey with blood. < 01:51:20 > < 01:51:21 > < 01:51:22 > < 01:51:23 > < 01:51:24 > < 01:51:25 > < 01:51:26 > < 01:51:27 > < 01:51:28 > < 01:51:29 > T: Don't even think about laughing at my face. It's not at all vaginal. < 01:51:30 > < 01:51:31 > M: Oh wow you guys are the greatest, I didn't ask for TWO to mate with! < 01:51:32 > < 01:51:33 > < 01:51:34 > < 01:51:35 > < 01:51:36 > < 01:51:37 > < 01:51:38 > < 01:51:39 > < 01:51:40 > < 01:51:41 > M: Guess where THIS is going! < 01:51:42 > < 01:51:43 > < 01:51:44 > < 01:51:45 > < 01:51:46 > < 01:51:47 > < 01:51:48 > < 01:51:49 > < 01:51:50 > T: That means he likes you! < 01:51:51 > < 01:51:52 > < 01:51:53 > < 01:51:54 > < 01:51:55 > < 01:51:56 > < 01:51:57 > < 01:51:58 > < 01:51:59 > < 01:51:60 > < 01:52:00 > < 01:52:01 > < 01:52:02 > < 01:52:03 > < 01:52:04 > < 01:52:05 > < 01:52:06 > < 01:52:07 > T: Ice cream headache! < 01:52:08 > M: That's a shame. < 01:52:09 > < 01:52:10 > T: *straw noise* < 01:52:11 > < 01:52:12 > < 01:52:13 > < 01:52:14 > < 01:52:15 > M: Just looking at him, I wouldn't have thought he'd have that much brains, to be honest. < 01:52:16 > < 01:52:17 > < 01:52:18 > < 01:52:19 > < 01:52:20 > < 01:52:21 > T: NOW he's Keanu Reeves. < 01:52:22 > M: No no, he's Tommy Lee. < 01:52:23 > < 01:52:24 > < 01:52:25 > < 01:52:26 > < 01:52:27 > *pop* < 01:52:28 > < 01:52:29 > < 01:52:30 > < 01:52:31 > < 01:52:32 > < 01:52:33 > < 01:52:34 > M: You know what guys? Barely a snack there. < 01:52:35 > T: All I got from him was a football playbook and how to score with dumb chicks. < 01:52:36 > < 01:52:37 > < 01:52:38 > < 01:52:39 > < 01:52:40 > T: Wow he's got all sorts of naughty bits on his face, look at that butt down on his chin. < 01:52:41 > < 01:52:42 > < 01:52:43 > < 01:52:44 > < 01:52:45 > < 01:52:46 > < 01:52:47 > M: The worm is the spice! < 01:52:48 > T: Shai hulud! < 01:52:49 > < 01:52:50 > < 01:52:51 > < 01:52:52 > < 01:52:53 > < 01:52:54 > < 01:52:55 > < 01:52:56 > < 01:52:57 > < 01:52:58 > < 01:52:59 > < 01:52:60 > < 01:53:00 > < 01:53:01 > < 01:53:02 > T: Jazz hands, Rico! < 01:53:03 > < 01:53:04 > < 01:53:05 > < 01:53:06 > < 01:53:07 > < 01:53:08 > < 01:53:09 > M: Not that smart, if she outsmarted you. < 01:53:10 > < 01:53:11 > < 01:53:12 > < 01:53:13 > < 01:53:14 > < 01:53:15 > < 01:53:16 > < 01:53:17 > < 01:53:18 > < 01:53:19 > < 01:53:20 > < 01:53:21 > < 01:53:22 > T: Walk without rhythm, and you won't attract the worm! < 01:53:23 > < 01:53:24 > < 01:53:25 > < 01:53:26 > M: Slowly...back up to the entrance and..RUN AWAY! < 01:53:27 > < 01:53:28 > < 01:53:29 > < 01:53:30 > < 01:53:31 > < 01:53:32 > < 01:53:33 > < 01:53:34 > < 01:53:35 > < 01:53:36 > < 01:53:37 > < 01:53:38 > < 01:53:39 > < 01:53:40 > < 01:53:41 > < 01:53:42 > < 01:53:43 > < 01:53:44 > < 01:53:45 > < 01:53:46 > < 01:53:47 > T: All of a sudden these guys are doing more damage than their entire platoon was a while back. < 01:53:48 > < 01:53:49 > < 01:53:50 > < 01:53:51 > < 01:53:52 > < 01:53:53 > < 01:53:54 > < 01:53:55 > < 01:53:56 > < 01:53:57 > < 01:53:58 > < 01:53:59 > < 01:53:60 > < 01:54:00 > < 01:54:01 > < 01:54:02 > M: Damn this armor, it's entirely pointless! < 01:54:03 > < 01:54:04 > < 01:54:05 > < 01:54:06 > < 01:54:07 > < 01:54:08 > < 01:54:09 > < 01:54:10 > < 01:54:11 > < 01:54:12 > < 01:54:13 > < 01:54:14 > < 01:54:15 > T: Gotta work in one more war cliche! URRRGH! < 01:54:16 > < 01:54:17 > < 01:54:18 > < 01:54:19 > < 01:54:20 > < 01:54:21 > < 01:54:22 > < 01:54:23 > < 01:54:24 > M: Do the "running from the giant explosion" shot! < 01:54:25 > < 01:54:26 > < 01:54:27 > < 01:54:28 > < 01:54:29 > < 01:54:30 > < 01:54:31 > < 01:54:32 > < 01:54:33 > < 01:54:34 > < 01:54:35 > < 01:54:36 > M: What a brave man...whose name I never learned. < 01:54:37 > < 01:54:38 > < 01:54:39 > < 01:54:40 > < 01:54:41 > < 01:54:42 > < 01:54:43 > T: She's awfully spry for having been stabbed through a lung. < 01:54:44 > < 01:54:45 > < 01:54:46 > < 01:54:47 > < 01:54:48 > < 01:54:49 > < 01:54:50 > < 01:54:51 > < 01:54:52 > < 01:54:53 > < 01:54:54 > < 01:54:55 > M: I don't know if you can run from a nuke. < 01:54:56 > T: It's a really little one. < 01:54:57 > < 01:54:58 > < 01:54:59 > < 01:54:60 > T: YOUUUUUU SHALL NOT PAAAAAAAASSS! < 01:55:00 > < 01:55:01 > < 01:55:02 > < 01:55:03 > < 01:55:04 > < 01:55:05 > < 01:55:06 > < 01:55:07 > < 01:55:08 > < 01:55:09 > < 01:55:10 > < 01:55:11 > M: Aw man, I know I'm sterile now. < 01:55:12 > < 01:55:13 > < 01:55:14 > < 01:55:15 > < 01:55:16 > < 01:55:17 > < 01:55:18 > < 01:55:19 > T: Ill? wounded? Concerned? Shellshocked? What is it, Denise? < 01:55:20 > < 01:55:21 > < 01:55:22 > < 01:55:23 > < 01:55:24 > < 01:55:25 > < 01:55:26 > < 01:55:27 > < 01:55:28 > < 01:55:29 > < 01:55:30 > < 01:55:31 > < 01:55:32 > M: Run away! Go! We're getting creamed!! < 01:55:33 > < 01:55:34 > < 01:55:35 > < 01:55:36 > < 01:55:37 > < 01:55:38 > < 01:55:39 > < 01:55:40 > < 01:55:41 > < 01:55:42 > < 01:55:43 > < 01:55:44 > < 01:55:45 > < 01:55:46 > T: Lunchtime! Yay! < 01:55:47 > < 01:55:48 > < 01:55:49 > < 01:55:50 > < 01:55:51 > < 01:55:52 > < 01:55:53 > < 01:55:54 > < 01:55:55 > < 01:55:56 > < 01:55:57 > < 01:55:58 > < 01:55:59 > < 01:55:60 > < 01:56:00 > < 01:56:01 > T: That's enough burgers for everybody! < 01:56:02 > < 01:56:03 > < 01:56:04 > M: Think of the giant fish we could catch with that. < 01:56:05 > < 01:56:06 > < 01:56:07 > < 01:56:08 > < 01:56:09 > < 01:56:10 > < 01:56:11 > T: I want my lawyer! I know my rights! < 01:56:12 > < 01:56:13 > < 01:56:14 > M: Herr Doogie arrives! Ve vant to ask you qvestions! < 01:56:15 > < 01:56:16 > < 01:56:17 > < 01:56:18 > < 01:56:19 > < 01:56:20 > < 01:56:21 > < 01:56:22 > T: You really should put some creme on that if it looks that bad. < 01:56:23 > < 01:56:24 > < 01:56:25 > < 01:56:26 > < 01:56:27 > < 01:56:28 > < 01:56:29 > < 01:56:30 > < 01:56:31 > < 01:56:32 > M: For some reason he's thinking "Ready steady go!" < 01:56:33 > < 01:56:34 > < 01:56:35 > < 01:56:36 > < 01:56:37 > < 01:56:38 > T: That is one nasty gynecological problem. < 01:56:39 > < 01:56:40 > < 01:56:41 > < 01:56:42 > < 01:56:43 > < 01:56:44 > M: It's the Doogie Mind-Meld. < 01:56:45 > < 01:56:46 > < 01:56:47 > < 01:56:48 > < 01:56:49 > < 01:56:50 > < 01:56:51 > < 01:56:52 > < 01:56:53 > < 01:56:54 > < 01:56:55 > M: My arm kinda hurts, Johnny, aagh! < 01:56:56 > < 01:56:57 > < 01:56:58 > < 01:56:59 > < 01:57:00 > < 01:57:01 > T: Zat is Komrade General Howzah to you, zitizen! < 01:57:02 > < 01:57:03 > < 01:57:04 > < 01:57:05 > < 01:57:06 > < 01:57:07 > < 01:57:08 > < 01:57:09 > < 01:57:10 > < 01:57:11 > < 01:57:12 > < 01:57:13 > < 01:57:14 > M: She's got a six-inch sucking torso wound and she's laughing and joking! < 01:57:15 > < 01:57:16 > < 01:57:17 > < 01:57:18 > < 01:57:19 > < 01:57:20 > < 01:57:21 > T: Um, I'm profusely bleeding!7:22 > < 01:57:23 > < 01:57:24 > < 01:57:25 > < 01:57:26 > < 01:57:27 > < 01:57:28 > < 01:57:29 > < 01:57:30 > *America the beautiful* < 01:57:31 > < 01:57:32 > < 01:57:33 > < 01:57:34 > < 01:57:35 > < 01:57:36 > < 01:57:37 > < 01:57:38 > < 01:57:39 > < 01:57:40 > < 01:57:41 > < 01:57:42 > < 01:57:43 > T: The enemy cannot suck out your brains, if you cut off his drinking straw! < 01:57:44 > < 01:57:45 > < 01:57:46 > < 01:57:47 > < 01:57:48 > < 01:57:49 > < 01:57:50 > < 01:57:51 > < 01:57:52 > < 01:57:53 > < 01:57:54 > < 01:57:55 > < 01:57:56 > < 01:57:57 > < 01:57:58 > < 01:57:59 > M: Yeah I got busted down to private after a scandal in the showers. < 01:58:00 > < 01:58:01 > < 01:58:02 > < 01:58:03 > < 01:58:04 > < 01:58:05 > < 01:58:06 > < 01:58:07 > M: YAY!! He's carrying on! Yay!!! < 01:58:08 > < 01:58:09 > < 01:58:10 > < 01:58:11 > < 01:58:12 > < 01:58:13 > < 01:58:14 > < 01:58:15 > < 01:58:16 > < 01:58:17 > < 01:58:18 > < 01:58:19 > < 01:58:20 > < 01:58:21 > < 01:58:22 > T: This new alien has advanced the makeup testing technology by decades! < 01:58:23 > < 01:58:24 > < 01:58:25 > < 01:58:26 > < 01:58:27 > < 01:58:28 > M: Join up now for fantastic savings! < 01:58:29 > < 01:58:30 > T: We have Halo guns! < 01:58:31 > M: Men in Black! < 01:58:32 > < 01:58:33 > T: And lots and lots of redshirts! < 01:58:34 > < 01:58:35 > M: We need Yau Ming! < 01:58:36 > < 01:58:37 > < 01:58:38 > < 01:58:39 > T: No!!! < 01:58:40 > < 01:58:41 > < 01:58:42 > < 01:58:43 > < 01:58:44 > < 01:58:45 > < 01:58:46 > T: Are not good examples of good soldiers! < 01:58:47 > < 01:58:48 > < 01:58:49 > M: What, he's not commander-in-chief by now? < 01:58:50 > < 01:58:51 > < 01:58:52 > < 01:58:53 > < 01:58:54 > < 01:58:55 > < 01:58:56 > < 01:58:57 > T: Become a citizen now and get this free tote bag! < 01:58:58 > < 01:58:59 > < 01:59:00 > < 01:59:01 > < 01:59:02 > M: As long as you keep buying tickets! < 01:59:03 > < 01:59:04 > < 01:59:05 > < 01:59:06 > < 01:59:07 > T: THIS NEW CAR! < 01:59:08 > < 01:59:09 > < 01:59:10 > < 01:59:11 > T: Nice shootin' son, what's your name? < 01:59:12 > M: Murphy. < 01:59:13 > < 01:59:14 > M: Citizenry's not all it's cracked up to be, I mean, some people would still vote for Nader. < 01:59:15 > < 01:59:16 > < 01:59:17 > < 01:59:18 > T: You know, I've been thinking. This is like Archie Comics: The Movie. < 01:59:19 > < 01:59:20 > M: I think this movie's really gotten to you, Spoony man. < 01:59:21 > < 01:59:22 > T: Think about it. ALL the Archie characters are there. Archie, Reggie, Jughead, Betty, Veronica, Moose, they're all there! I'm surprised that Basic Training wasn't in Riverdale. < 01:59:23 > < 01:59:24 > M: The movie's almost over, why don't you just lie down? < 01:59:25 > < 01:59:26 > T: Rico is obviously Archie. Everyman hero. What more can you say? Archie is milquetoast and so is Rico, if they had a personality they wouldn't be the main character. The chick he has the hots for at first is Veronica. She's sexy (love those lips), privilaged, has dark hair, and essentially dumps Rico early on (Rico pining for her for half of the movie). Just like Veronica would (we all know that Betty would be true blue to Archie forever... er... not that I ever read the comics...) < 01:59:27 > < 01:59:28 > M: No, no, of course not. < 01:59:29 > < 01:59:30 > T: Doogie Howser (the telepath) is Jughead. When you compare him to the picture perfect runway model actors and actresses that comprise the main cast, this is pretty easy to see. Just too bad that he doesn't have a really big appetite. Can't think of what more to be said, other than he becomes Nazi Jughead by the end. Expected him to start saying "We shall get zee bugs Mein Furhur!" Reggie is the other pilot (who is after Veronica, naturally), total jerk, but what else do you expect from Reggie? Got the short black hair and everything. Gets whacked just like you'd wish Reggie would, so some small amount of satisfaction there... < 01:59:31 > < 01:59:32 > M: You know what? I'm leaving. You have fun though! < 01:59:33 > < 01:59:34 > T: No no! I'm on a roll here! I'm gonna blow the entire system wide open here! Rico/Archie's grunt girlfriend is Betty, the girl-next-door, salt of the earth type. So she's got red hair instead of blond, so what? Nothing says "Farm Girl" more than red hair. This is also the girl that Rico essentially kills through an act of stupidity. "Quick, she's got this huge spike jammed in her, let's take out the only thing that's keeping her from bleeding to death!" Don't they teach those boys FIRST AID in basic training? As far as stupid goes, that's right up there with throwing the grenade pin. Moose is the big dumb lug who gets his brains blown out during an accident in Basic Training. Of course this means he's not in the rest of the movie, so you really gotta wonder if Moose that dumb after all. Mr. Weatherbee would have to be the teacher from the begining (Michael Ironside). Somehow the guy from Highlander 2 doesn't seem right for the Mr. Weatherbee role. < 01:59:35 > < 01:59:36 > < 01:59:37 > M: All right all right, calm down, it's gonna be ok. < 01:59:38 > T: Ok... I'm sorry, these things just really get to me sometimes. It's this MOVIE man, it just won't end! It won't END!! IT'S been TWO HOURS! IT SUCKS!! WAAAH HA HA HA... < 01:59:39 > < 01:59:40 > < 01:59:41 > < 01:59:42 > < 01:59:43 > < 01:59:44 > < 01:59:45 > < 01:59:46 > < 01:59:47 > < 01:59:48 > < 01:59:49 > < 01:59:50 > < 01:59:51 > < 01:59:52 > < 01:59:53 > < 01:59:54 > < 01:59:55 > < 01:59:56 > < 01:59:57 > < 01:59:58 > < 01:59:59 > < 02:00:00 > < 02:00:01 > < 02:00:02 > < 02:00:03 > < 02:00:04 > < 02:00:05 > < 02:00:06 > < 02:00:07 > < 02:00:08 > < 02:00:09 > < 02:00:10 > < 02:00:11 > < 02:00:12 > < 02:00:13 > < 02:00:14 > < 02:00:15 > < 02:00:16 > < 02:00:17 > < 02:00:18 > < 02:00:19 > < 02:00:20 > < 02:00:21 > < 02:00:22 > < 02:00:23 > < 02:00:24 > < 02:00:25 > < 02:00:26 > < 02:00:27 > < 02:00:28 > < 02:00:29 > < 02:00:30 > < 02:00:31 > < 02:00:32 > < 02:00:33 > < 02:00:34 > < 02:00:35 > < 02:00:36 > < 02:00:37 > < 02:00:38 > < 02:00:39 > < 02:00:40 > < 02:00:41 > < 02:00:42 > < 02:00:43 > < 02:00:44 > < 02:00:45 > < 02:00:46 > < 02:00:47 > < 02:00:48 > < 02:00:49 > < 02:00:50 > < 02:00:51 > < 02:00:52 > < 02:00:53 > < 02:00:54 > < 02:00:55 > < 02:00:56 > < 02:00:57 > < 02:00:58 > < 02:00:59 > < 02:01:00 > < 02:01:01 > < 02:01:02 > < 02:01:03 > < 02:01:04 > < 02:01:05 > < 02:01:06 > < 02:01:07 > < 02:01:08 > < 02:01:09 > < 02:01:10 > < 02:01:11 > < 02:01:12 > < 02:01:13 > < 02:01:14 > < 02:01:15 > < 02:01:16 > < 02:01:17 > < 02:01:18 > < 02:01:19 > < 02:01:20 > < 02:01:21 > < 02:01:22 > < 02:01:23 > < 02:01:24 > < 02:01:25 > < 02:01:26 > < 02:01:27 > < 02:01:28 > < 02:01:29 > < 02:01:30 > < 02:01:31 > < 02:01:32 > < 02:01:33 > < 02:01:34 > < 02:01:35 > < 02:01:36 > < 02:01:37 > < 02:01:38 > < 02:01:39 > < 02:01:40 > < 02:01:41 > < 02:01:42 > < 02:01:43 > < 02:01:44 > < 02:01:45 > T: Michael Ironside will be back in Starship Troopers 2: The Quickening! < 02:01:46 > M: RAMIREZ!! < 02:01:47 > < 02:01:48 > T: You know, I was just thinking, Rue McClanahan in this movie and she WASN'T in the co-ed shower scene? Sheesh, what a ripoff. < 02:01:49 > < 02:01:50 > < 02:01:51 > < 02:01:52 > < 02:01:53 > < 02:01:54 > < 02:01:55 > < 02:01:56 > M: Robert David Hall, didn't he shoot Grover Cleveland? < 02:01:57 > < 02:01:58 > T: Hey, Amy Smart! She was in the Butterfly Effect with that Punk'd guy. < 02:01:59 > < 02:02:00 > < 02:02:01 > < 02:02:02 > M: Dale Dye the science guy! < 02:02:03 > < 02:02:04 > < 02:02:05 > < 02:02:06 > T: So those two guys played all the Male Troopers? < 02:02:07 > < 02:02:08 > M: I would not drink Dickey Beer. < 02:02:09 > < 02:02:10 > < 02:02:11 > < 02:02:12 > < 02:02:13 > < 02:02:14 > < 02:02:15 > < 02:02:16 > < 02:02:17 > < 02:02:18 > < 02:02:19 > < 02:02:20 > T: Hey, Todd Schloopy! Haaaang on Schloopy, Schloopy hang on! < 02:02:21 > < 02:02:22 > < 02:02:23 > M: OHHH is the great Thomas Vandermillian going to grace us with his assistant camerawork today? < 02:02:24 > < 02:02:25 > < 02:02:26 > < 02:02:27 > < 02:02:28 > < 02:02:29 > < 02:02:30 > < 02:02:31 > < 02:02:32 > < 02:02:33 > < 02:02:34 > < 02:02:35 > < 02:02:36 > < 02:02:37 > T: Well at least there's not a sequel to this for real. < 02:02:38 > M: There is. < 02:02:39 > T: What?? Aw man, and The Director just heard that. We're DOOMED, man! That's it, game over! < 02:02:40 > < 02:02:41 > < 02:02:42 > < 02:02:43 > < 02:02:44 > < 02:02:45 > < 02:02:46 > < 02:02:47 > < 02:02:48 > < 02:02:49 > < 02:02:50 > M: wait wait wait, you're telling me this dialgoue was edited? < 02:02:51 > T: Yep we have these guys to thank for "Bugs don't take prisoners" and "They sucked his brains out." < 02:02:52 > < 02:02:53 > < 02:02:54 > < 02:02:55 > < 02:02:56 > < 02:02:57 > < 02:02:58 > < 02:02:59 > < 02:03:00 > M: mmmmm...Dessert. < 02:03:01 > < 02:03:02 > < 02:03:03 > < 02:03:04 > T: I'm the Weapons Coordinator IF YA SMELLLL what the Rock is Cookin'! < 02:03:05 > < 02:03:06 > < 02:03:07 > < 02:03:08 > M: Okay wait wait, does this mean that Veronica's going out with Doogie? < 02:03:09 > T: I think I covered this! Veronica's destined to go out with Archie once she straightens out. I mean sure, it was always Archie's dream to have Betty and Veronica in a three-way, but now that Betty's dead, I'm sure he'd be willing to settle. < 02:03:10 > M: But what about that bizarre man-crush Rico seems to have with Mr. Wetherby at the prom and stuff? < 02:03:11 > T: You sicken me. < 02:03:12 > M: Oh what, he has the chance to make time with Betty at the prom, but he dumps her cold just to get closer to his teacher. Deny it all you want, fanboy, Archie's a SISTA! < 02:03:13 > T: I'm not listening to this. Just watch the credits and shut up! < 02:03:14 > < 02:03:15 > < 02:03:16 > < 02:03:17 > < 02:03:18 > < 02:03:19 > < 02:03:20 > < 02:03:21 > < 02:03:22 > < 02:03:23 > < 02:03:24 > < 02:03:25 > < 02:03:26 > < 02:03:27 > < 02:03:28 > < 02:03:29 > < 02:03:30 > < 02:03:31 > < 02:03:32 > < 02:03:33 > < 02:03:34 > M: Hey, so it was Brian Maynard who came running whenever they shouted "Medic!" < 02:03:35 > < 02:03:36 > < 02:03:37 > < 02:03:38 > < 02:03:39 > < 02:03:40 > T: Oh Mrs. Zwilling! Mrs. Zwilling! < 02:03:41 > < 02:03:42 > < 02:03:43 > < 02:03:44 > < 02:03:45 > T: Oh fait'n begora! I'm Iain O'Higgins, I'm the best boy in all of Ireland! < 02:03:46 > < 02:03:47 > < 02:03:48 > < 02:03:49 > < 02:03:50 > < 02:03:51 > < 02:03:52 > < 02:03:53 > M: And now the Tender Love Ballad of Starship Troopers. < 02:03:54 > < 02:03:55 > < 02:03:56 > < 02:03:57 > < 02:03:58 > < 02:03:59 > < 02:04:00 > < 02:04:01 > < 02:04:02 > < 02:04:03 > < 02:04:04 > M: Character Animators? Those must have been the guys to carve Casper van Dien out of that block of wood. < 02:04:05 > < 02:04:06 > < 02:04:07 > < 02:04:08 > < 02:04:09 > < 02:04:10 > < 02:04:11 > < 02:04:12 > < 02:04:13 > T: You needed 3 people to move matches around? < 02:04:14 > M: ~/o Match mover Match mover, move me a match! ~/o < 02:04:15 > < 02:04:16 > < 02:04:17 > < 02:04:18 > < 02:04:19 > T: She's a rotoscope artist from the lowest planes of hell, Betsy NOFSINGERATU! < 02:04:20 > < 02:04:21 > < 02:04:22 > < 02:04:23 > < 02:04:24 > < 02:04:25 > < 02:04:26 > < 02:04:27 > T: Pff, Natalie Lopez is such a Fabricator, she lies about everything! < 02:04:28 > M: What? I love N'Lo. < 02:04:29 > < 02:04:30 > < 02:04:31 > T: Whoo, I bet those two got made fun of. Frank COX and Jeshua LACOCK. < 02:04:32 > < 02:04:33 > < 02:04:34 > < 02:04:35 > < 02:04:36 > < 02:04:37 > < 02:04:38 > M: So I thought we were gonna see Denise Richards and Neve Campbell make out in this movie. < 02:04:39 > T: No no, that was Wild Things. < 02:04:40 > M: GAAH! < 02:04:41 > < 02:04:42 > < 02:04:43 > < 02:04:44 > T: Shower scene brought to you by Pfizer Faucets. < 02:04:45 > < 02:04:46 > < 02:04:47 > < 02:04:48 > < 02:04:49 > < 02:04:50 > < 02:04:51 > < 02:04:52 > < 02:04:53 > M: Is there anyone this movie doesn't credit?? < 02:04:54 > < 02:04:55 > < 02:04:56 > < 02:04:57 > < 02:04:58 > < 02:04:59 > < 02:05:00 > M: Titcomb, huh huh huh < 02:05:01 > < 02:05:02 > < 02:05:03 > < 02:05:04 > < 02:05:05 > T: Now that I think about it, what would a Titcomb look like? < 02:05:06 > < 02:05:07 > < 02:05:08 > < 02:05:09 > < 02:05:10 > < 02:05:11 > < 02:05:12 > < 02:05:13 > < 02:05:14 > < 02:05:15 > M: How many of these people do you think went to DeVry? < 02:05:16 > < 02:05:17 > < 02:05:18 > < 02:05:19 > < 02:05:20 > T: Dee Storm! Dee Storm boss! < 02:05:21 > M: Michael Moore was the Editorial Department Manager! This war in Klendathu is a sham! Shame on you Predident Bush! Shame on you! < 02:05:22 > T: BOOOO!! BOOOO!! < 02:05:23 > M: There's nobody booing me! Nobody booing! It's piped in! People love me! People love me! < 02:05:24 > < 02:05:25 > < 02:05:26 > < 02:05:27 > < 02:05:28 > T: Josh Cushner...ugggg Brian Mussetter, uhh Joe Stevenson, uggg, Brian PASS PASS! < 02:05:29 > < 02:05:30 > < 02:05:31 > < 02:05:32 > M: Office coordinator? Yeah just stack those chairs over there and fix this paper jam. < 02:05:33 > < 02:05:34 > < 02:05:35 > < 02:05:36 > T: NOTARO WINS! Mortal Kombat! < 02:05:37 > < 02:05:38 > < 02:05:39 > < 02:05:40 > < 02:05:41 > < 02:05:42 > < 02:05:43 > < 02:05:44 > < 02:05:45 > < 02:05:46 > < 02:05:47 > T: Hey Guido, I need you to do me a favah and work on my cameras for me. < 02:05:48 > < 02:05:49 > < 02:05:50 > < 02:05:51 > < 02:05:52 > < 02:05:53 > < 02:05:54 > < 02:05:55 > M: Pixel Liberation Front? What about the Pixel's Front of Judea? < 02:05:56 > < 02:05:57 > T: I always felt texels were much more oppressed. Equal rights for texels! < 02:05:58 > < 02:05:59 > < 02:06:00 > < 02:06:01 > < 02:06:02 > < 02:06:03 > < 02:06:04 > < 02:06:05 > < 02:06:06 > M: Oh NO! Lucas! < 02:06:07 > < 02:06:08 > < 02:06:09 > < 02:06:10 > < 02:06:11 > T: OH GOD!! NO MORE! END!!! END!!! < 02:06:12 > < 02:06:13 > < 02:06:14 > < 02:06:15 > < 02:06:16 > < 02:06:17 > < 02:06:18 > < 02:06:19 > < 02:06:20 > < 02:06:21 > < 02:06:22 > < 02:06:23 > T: Oh god...this credit sequence is designed to pound you into submission. < 02:06:24 > < 02:06:25 > < 02:06:26 > < 02:06:27 > < 02:06:28 > < 02:06:29 > M: Eeew, unfortunate name there, Greg Hyman. < 02:06:30 > < 02:06:31 > < 02:06:32 > < 02:06:33 > < 02:06:34 > < 02:06:35 > < 02:06:36 > < 02:06:37 > < 02:06:38 > < 02:06:39 > < 02:06:40 > < 02:06:41 > T: I don't think I could get this many names if I just xeroxed the white pages. < 02:06:42 > < 02:06:43 > < 02:06:44 > < 02:06:45 > < 02:06:46 > < 02:06:47 > < 02:06:48 > < 02:06:49 > < 02:06:50 > < 02:06:51 > < 02:06:52 > < 02:06:53 > T: Hey Brian Pringle. EAT ME! < 02:06:54 > < 02:06:55 > < 02:06:56 > < 02:06:57 > < 02:06:58 > < 02:06:59 > M: Oh please, no more, AAAGH! < 02:07:00 > < 02:07:01 > < 02:07:02 > < 02:07:03 > < 02:07:04 > < 02:07:05 > < 02:07:06 > < 02:07:07 > M: You know, if you lined these credits up on paper you could circle the moon twice! < 02:07:08 > < 02:07:09 > < 02:07:10 > < 02:07:11 > < 02:07:12 > < 02:07:13 > < 02:07:14 > < 02:07:15 > < 02:07:16 > < 02:07:17 > < 02:07:18 > T: And now our American staff! < 02:07:19 > M: This is like the Chinese Water Torture of credit sequences. < 02:07:20 > < 02:07:21 > < 02:07:22 > < 02:07:23 > < 02:07:24 > < 02:07:25 > < 02:07:26 > < 02:07:27 > < 02:07:28 > M: We already did painters! What's going on here?? We're trapped! We're never gonna get outta here! < 02:07:29 > < 02:07:30 > < 02:07:31 > < 02:07:32 > < 02:07:33 > < 02:07:34 > < 02:07:35 > < 02:07:36 > < 02:07:37 > < 02:07:38 > < 02:07:39 > < 02:07:40 > < 02:07:41 > T: 3D animation? When was that? < 02:07:42 > < 02:07:43 > < 02:07:44 > < 02:07:45 > < 02:07:46 > < 02:07:47 > < 02:07:48 > < 02:07:49 > < 02:07:50 > < 02:07:51 > < 02:07:52 > < 02:07:53 > < 02:07:54 > M: This has been what, 15 minutes? < 02:07:55 > T: I don't remember, man, there was light and life before this movie. < 02:07:56 > < 02:07:57 > < 02:07:58 > < 02:07:59 > < 02:08:00 > < 02:08:01 > < 02:08:02 > < 02:08:03 > M: We've already done these guys too! < 02:08:04 > < 02:08:05 > T: You know what it's all about, dont ya playa? Mo Henry! Mo Henry! < 02:08:06 > < 02:08:07 > < 02:08:08 > < 02:08:09 > < 02:08:10 > < 02:08:11 > < 02:08:12 > < 02:08:13 > < 02:08:14 > < 02:08:15 > < 02:08:16 > < 02:08:17 > < 02:08:18 > < 02:08:19 > < 02:08:20 > < 02:08:21 > < 02:08:22 > < 02:08:23 > < 02:08:24 > < 02:08:25 > < 02:08:26 > < 02:08:27 > < 02:08:28 > < 02:08:29 > M: You ever see yourself cruisin' down the road, wind in your hair, crankin' the Starship Troopers soundtrack high as it'll go and just jammin'? < 02:08:30 > < 02:08:31 > < 02:08:32 > < 02:08:33 > < 02:08:34 > < 02:08:35 > < 02:08:36 > < 02:08:37 > < 02:08:38 > < 02:08:39 > < 02:08:40 > < 02:08:41 > < 02:08:42 > T: No actual plots were used in the making of this movie. < 02:08:43 > M: Any similarity to the novel Starship Troopers is entirely unintentional. < 02:08:44 > < 02:08:45 > < 02:08:46 > < 02:08:47 > < 02:08:48 > < 02:08:49 > < 02:08:50 > < 02:08:51 > < 02:08:52 > T: Filmed entirely on location in BUENOS AIRES! Wait, South Dakota? What the heck? < 02:08:53 > < 02:08:54 > < 02:08:55 > < 02:08:56 > < 02:08:57 > < 02:08:58 > < 02:08:59 > < 02:09:00 > < 02:09:01 > < 02:09:02 > T: You ever wonder what those little pictures really mean? < 02:09:03 > M: No. < 02:09:04 > T: Me either. < 02:09:05 > < 02:09:06 > < 02:09:07 > < 02:09:08 > < 02:09:09 > < 02:09:10 > < 02:09:11 > < 02:09:12 > < 02:09:13 > < 02:09:14 > < 02:09:15 > < 02:09:16 > < 02:09:17 > < 02:09:18 > < 02:09:19 > < 02:09:20 > < 02:09:21 > < 02:09:22 > < 02:09:23 > < 02:09:24 > < 02:09:25 > < 02:09:26 > < 02:09:27 > < 02:09:28 > < 02:09:29 > < 02:09:30 > < 02:09:31 > < 02:09:32 > < 02:09:33 > < 02:09:34 > < 02:09:35 > < 02:09:36 > < 02:09:37 > < 02:09:38 > < 02:09:39 > < 02:09:40 > < 02:09:41 > < 02:09:42 > < 02:09:43 > < 02:09:44 > < 02:09:45 > < 02:09:46 > < 02:09:47 > < 02:09:48 > < 02:09:49 > < 02:09:50 > < 02:09:51 > < 02:09:52 > < 02:09:53 > < 02:09:54 > < 02:09:55 > < 02:09:56 > < 02:09:57 > < 02:09:58 > < 02:09:59 > < 02:10:00 > < 02:10:01 > < 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